"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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just got dumped via text - help me respond!

the_stig

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We've only been dating a few weeks but got close fast. Extremely high IL in me. I saw a few red flags that she was an AW but ignored them, stupidly. We texted often and I slept with her on the third date. Everything seemed too smooth and easy.. I notice a subtle change after spending the night Tuesday, she was acting cold last night but said it was just a stressful week. Now I just got a long text saying she wants to take a step back, doesn't know who or what she wants, let's be friends, etc. Quick! How should I respond? I was thinking of just saying it would be best if we cut ties and move on, or no response at all might drive her nuts. We're late 20s. Thoughts?
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Iceberg

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I'd just roll with something short and unemotional.

"Sounds good. See you around."

You gotta be unshakeable. The less affected by it you seem, the more shi**y she feels.
 

Die Hard

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Beware... BPD or otherwise cluster B nutcase. Eject now, be happy with what you got out of this "relationship" and move on. Proceed at your own risk, but don't make me tell you "I told you so..." after you get hurt or get mindfukked.
 

COD

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WHAT DO U WANT..............do U really want her back...........if so theres a timed window of opportunity.

U already banged her, if U want to next her...........just do so..........NO RESPONSE needed.

Texting IS NOT a replacement for face to face communicaton..........DESPITE what everyone thinks...........its got limitations.

Acting like it aint no biggie is generic advice................text this " lets talk face to face about this".

Women are like that sometimes, just be cool with her decision, no matter what that is. Then move on, immedietly.........dont text it, dont say it, dont think about it...........JUST DO IT (thanks NIKE shoe commercial)........finally advice U can use.

and hey dude, 2011 has just fricken started, U got another 11 months to find a bunch of chics
 

Atom Smasher

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Iceberg said:
I'd just roll with something short and unemotional.

"Sounds good. See you around."

You gotta be unshakeable. The less affected by it you seem, the more shi**y she feels.
Cosign.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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the_stig

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Since I have nothing to lose and want to fvck with her I'm going to say "no worries, ive got my eye on someone else anyways". One of my chick friends thought she was way clingy and was joking about posting on my Facebook wall to make her jealous. Told her no way, but game on now! LOL
 

COD

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or rise above all that juvenile mentality and ACTUALLY MOVE ON.

TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS..............SILENCE OFTEN HAS A WAY of affecting people.

On a more realistic note-it kinda hurt a little when she dumped your azz via text. Resist the urge to retaliate is the mark of a TRUE PU ARTIST.

Again, what do U really want from her?
 

Iceberg

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the_stig said:
Since I have nothing to lose and want to fvck with her I'm going to say "no worries, ive got my eye on someone else anyways". One of my chick friends thought she was way clingy and was joking about posting on my Facebook wall to make her jealous. Told her no way, but game on now! LOL
I mean, it's no big deal, but that just makes you sound hurt. "No worries" sounds more like what you should be saying. Not "No worries. I didn't like you anyway, nah nah nah..."

But yeah, at the end of the day, the relationship is over, so just do what you want.
 

seagull

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Iceberg said:
I'd just roll with something short and unemotional.

"Sounds good. See you around."

You gotta be unshakeable. The less affected by it you seem, the more shi**y she feels.
This or no response at all. Indifference is the key.
 

jophil28

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the_stig said:
Since I have nothing to lose and want to fvck with her I'm going to say "no worries, ive got my eye on someone else anyways". One of my chick friends thought she was way clingy and was joking about posting on my Facebook wall to make her jealous. Told her no way, but game on now! LOL
Nah - try this...THANK her for dumping you . Yes, that's right !

Your reply - " Thanks, you must be able to read my mind. Good luck."
Then never text or call her again even if she tries to hoover you back in so that she can dump you harder.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

iliketennis

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DO NOT say "i got my eye on someone else anyway"

just "alright no worries, see you around" or whatever like someone else says
 

betheman

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Do Not Reply
 

the_stig

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I said it and feel REALLY stupid about it now. I can't believe it.

She responded to it with "I figured with you hanging out with (female friend) the other night. I said "That's what this is about? Nah thats nothing". She said "It's all good hun really we're cool". I didn't reply to that, she said "ok" a few hours later, didn't reply either it.

That's where I sit. I know she hates being ignored and is a total AW but I probably f'd my chances getting her back, if I had any to begin with. Anyway to salvage this?? Thought i'd act my age and just say the "Sounds good see you around" line now and hope for the best.
 

ZenoB

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betheman said:
Do Not Reply
Stop the texting. Every action you take from this point forwards will make you feel really stupid again. Also, delete her number.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Iceberg

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the_stig said:
I said it and feel REALLY stupid about it now. I can't believe it.

She responded to it with "I figured with you hanging out with (female friend) the other night. I said "That's what this is about? Nah thats nothing". She said "It's all good hun really we're cool". I didn't reply to that, she said "ok" a few hours later, didn't reply either it.

That's where I sit. I know she hates being ignored and is a total AW but I probably f'd my chances getting her back, if I had any to begin with. Anyway to salvage this?? Thought i'd act my age and just say the "Sounds good see you around" line now and hope for the best.
So are you going to consider other peoples' advice this time or just ask for help and do whatever you were gonna do anyway?

But seriously...just leave it alone. The path to getting her back is the same path to getting over her. Leave her alone and let her miss you. Let her wonder what you're doing and who you're doing it with. The harder you try to get her, the more she isn't gonna want you.
 

st_99

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Yeah, too late now but i think 'no reply' would have been the best option.

It probably doesn't matter in the long run but in the short run it most likely
would have gotten under her skin wondering what you were thinking...
 

BBbardot

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the_stig said:
We've only been dating a few weeks but got close fast. Extremely high IL in me. I saw a few red flags that she was an AW but ignored them, stupidly. We texted often and I slept with her on the third date. Everything seemed too smooth and easy.. I notice a subtle change after spending the night Tuesday, she was acting cold last night but said it was just a stressful week. Now I just got a long text saying she wants to take a step back, doesn't know who or what she wants, let's be friends, etc. Quick! How should I respond? I was thinking of just saying it would be best if we cut ties and move on, or no response at all might drive her nuts. We're late 20s. Thoughts?
she seems like she genuilly doesn't want to be with you right now, she is confused, seems honest. Maybe there is another guy involved and stuff.

dont write that melodramatic thing about cuttng ties, she would read that be like "pff why does he need to make it that dramatic, can't he just let it be smooth, i told him i was confused and needed a step back, i dont need to deal with this right now." and you dont want her to think that. just say fair enough and move on. Leave her alone, she might realize she misses you later maybe. keep your dignity and dont write that cutting ties thing.

well actually what i said was just a developement of what iceberg said in a nutshell: "The path to getting her back is the same path to getting over her."

do not be dramatic, be light but act like you got the hint and don't try to put on a brave face either. I'd just say " fair enough..."


read what you wrote her after, are you a troll?
cause now you make it look like youre so cool and go out with tons of girls and that she is jealous and tried to create a drama to get your attention.
sounds too perfect of a story, making yourself look like a perfect don juan, pretending you dont know what going on.
plus you dont even follow the advices...
 

pipe007

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why you people getting emotional and wasting your time giving advice to this kid?

he posted a question, he good great advice, and he went and did what he thought was the correct action, disregarding all good advice given...
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

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