Just got called a jerk by people close to me...

[SchoolBoy]

Ever since I started becoming good with women, and understanding what the teaching are on this site, I have much more confidence in myself, I value myself much more and don't accept disrespect. I cannot be peer pressured or manipulated into doing things I don't want to do.

Last night I was at a party having a smoke with a few friends who are quite close to me. We came onto the topic about my attitude. They said I'm too ****y and make people feel "devalued". They also gave me a sh1t sandwich by telling me that they know I'm not like this and I don't mean to do it.

I will say right now that I am not ****y but I stand my ground to peer pressure and disrespectful comments. But apparently to my close friends I'm stepping on them at times because of my attitude.

Did anyone else experience something similar to this after learning the ways of the DJ?

 

[Dante420]

so they called you a jerk.....if you can't handle that you need to start looking at things from multiple angles and turned it into a positive rather than responding like your insecure. Should have fired back with "Maybe/sometimes, but I'm fun". There's a very fine line between being confident and disrespectful tho, sounds like you may be on the wrong side of it tho

 

[Igetit!]

There's a very fine line between being confident and disrespectful tho, sounds like you may be on the wrong side of it tho

You're right about there being a line between being confident and being disrespectful,but I disagree with you on you thinking that SchoolBoy is on the wrong side of that line.


In his very first sentence SchoolBoy said,"Every since I started becoming good with women...".

He said that his friends' negative view of him began AFTER he started to understand women more. And one of the best ways of understanding women is by FIRST understanding YOURSELF.

That's how it workS:If a man goes from being hopeless with girls to being more successful with them,I GUARANTEE you that the changes he made in order to become more successful were made within HIMSELF.



He learned something about HIMSELF,either something he was doing that was causing problems,or something he was not doing that he needed start doing.


Therefore,it's not that he's on the wrong side of the "confident/disrespect line" that his friends are reacting to,it's this positive change that they're giving him grief over.


It's not that he's putting other people down,it's that he's rasied himself up by having more self-respect and self-confdence for himself. And having more respect for yourself will AUTOMATICALLY require more respect from those around you.



Seems to me that his friends are used to the "old" SchoolBoy,the one who has issues and used to struggle with women. And if you struggle with women,then one some level,you've having an internal struggle as well.



I understand what he means. I had a friend of mine who knew me both before I learned about women and afterwards. After learned these things,I once told her about an interaction I had with a girl I was dating and she said,"Wow,you've changed".




She said that "I" had changed. I learned more about women,but she said it was "I" who was different.




If you've been "down" for a long time and you suddenly come up,the people who were around you all that time you were down will be uncomfortable with the change you made,even though it was a good change.


But stay with it. It's be foolish to go back to being unsuccessful with girls just so your "friends" can be comfortable with you again.


Stay like you are,they'll get used to it.

 

[CaptainJ]

Yes I experienced this. My friends all turned on me and I had to get a new social circle. I still experience it now a bit from friends from another social circle. The fact of the matter is that people (especially boys) do not want you to change. It's a sad fact but those closest to you secretly want you to fail, so they can say "I told you this would happen buddy, cmon, listen to my advice".

It's rare to get someone who truly wants you to succeed, so when you change in people's eyes, they will become bitter at the fact that you are succeeding and they are not. It will go on to the extent where they will either accept it and let it go, or they will not stay friends with you.

If they begin dragging you down and trying to devalue you, then it's time to cut them loose.

 

[SchoolBoy]

You're right about there being a line between being confident and being disrespectful,but I disagree with you on you thinking that SchoolBoy is on the wrong side of that line.


In his very first sentence SchoolBoy said,"Every since I started becoming good with women...".

He said that his friends' negative view of him began AFTER he started to understand women more. And one of the best ways of understanding women is by FIRST understanding YOURSELF.

That's how it workS:If a man goes from being hopeless with girls to being more successful with them,I GUARANTEE you that the changes he made in order to become more successful were made within HIMSELF.



He learned something about HIMSELF,either something he was doing that was causing problems,or something he was not doing that he needed start doing.


Therefore,it's not that he's on the wrong side of the "confident/disrespect line" that his friends are reacting to,it's this positive change that they're giving him grief over.


It's not that he's putting other people down,it's that he's rasied himself up by having more self-respect and self-confdence for himself. And having more respect for yourself will AUTOMATICALLY require more respect from those around you.



Seems to me that his friends are used to the "old" SchoolBoy,the one who has issues and used to struggle with women. And if you struggle with women,then one some level,you've having an internal struggle as well.



I understand what he means. I had a friend of mine who knew me both before I learned about women and afterwards. After learned these things,I once told her about an interaction I had with a girl I was dating and she said,"Wow,you've changed".




She said that "I" had changed. I learned more about women,but she said it was "I" who was different.




If you've been "down" for a long time and you suddenly come up,the people who were around you all that time you were down will be uncomfortable with the change you made,even though it was a good change.


But stay with it. It's be foolish to go back to being unsuccessful with girls just so your "friends" can be comfortable with you again.


Stay like you are,they'll get used to it.

Thanks for your wisdom, your empathy spoke to me more than words can express.

It's amazing you know exactly how I feel.

And to Dante420: you're right, I was feeling insecure when they said that, it's because I have known these people all my life. The words they express have meaning to me.

From what I learned, you can't fake your inner game. Once you change your inner game, you change the attitude in how you deal with EVERYONE, not just women.

I walk around with more confidence, I refuse peer pressure when I use to succumb. I guess it would make people who knew me before this change feel uncomfortable. They gave me these comments as "constructive criticism". But I couldn't help but to be affected by these words from people whom I love so dear.

 

[Dante420]

You're right about there being a line between being confident and being disrespectful,but I disagree with you on you thinking that SchoolBoy is on the wrong side of that line.


In his very first sentence SchoolBoy said,"Every since I started becoming good with women...".

He said that his friends' negative view of him began AFTER he started to understand women more. And one of the best ways of understanding women is by FIRST understanding YOURSELF.

That's how it workS:If a man goes from being hopeless with girls to being more successful with them,I GUARANTEE you that the changes he made in order to become more successful were made within HIMSELF.



He learned something about HIMSELF,either something he was doing that was causing problems,or something he was not doing that he needed start doing.


Therefore,it's not that he's on the wrong side of the "confident/disrespect line" that his friends are reacting to,it's this positive change that they're giving him grief over.


It's not that he's putting other people down,it's that he's rasied himself up by having more self-respect and self-confdence for himself. And having more respect for yourself will AUTOMATICALLY require more respect from those around you.



Seems to me that his friends are used to the "old" SchoolBoy,the one who has issues and used to struggle with women. And if you struggle with women,then one some level,you've having an internal struggle as well.



I understand what he means. I had a friend of mine who knew me both before I learned about women and afterwards. After learned these things,I once told her about an interaction I had with a girl I was dating and she said,"Wow,you've changed".




She said that "I" had changed. I learned more about women,but she said it was "I" who was different.




If you've been "down" for a long time and you suddenly come up,the people who were around you all that time you were down will be uncomfortable with the change you made,even though it was a good change.


But stay with it. It's be foolish to go back to being unsuccessful with girls just so your "friends" can be comfortable with you again.


Stay like you are,they'll get used to it.

I gotcha and that makes plenty of sense, especially in conjuction with the post right under yours. Your a very good communicator, I'll be keeping an eye out for your post. Communication skills are some of the most valuable things a man can come by.

Yes I experienced this. My friends all turned on me and I had to get a new social circle. I still experience it now a bit from friends from another social circle. The fact of the matter is that people (especially boys) do not want you to change. It's a sad fact but those closest to you secretly want you to fail, so they can say "I told you this would happen buddy, cmon, listen to my advice".

It's rare to get someone who truly wants you to succeed, so when you change in people's eyes, they will become bitter at the fact that you are succeeding and they are not. It will go on to the extent where they will either accept it and let it go, or they will not stay friends with you.

If they begin dragging you down and trying to devalue you, then it's time to cut them loose.

That's sadly all too true, but you find the type of friends who do want you to succeed in the craziest places.

 

[SchoolBoy]

I gotcha and that make plenty of sense, especially in conjuction with the post right under yours. Your a very good communicator, I'll be keeping an eye out for your post. Communication skills are some of the most valuable things a man can come by.



That's sadly all too true, but you find the type of friends who do want you to succeed in the craziest places.

Definitely agreed. Igetit is one of the most wisest members of this forum. I regard his advice highly.

 

[Dante420]

Definitely agreed. Igetit is one of the most wisest members of this forum. I regard his advice highly.

Judging by the first bit of your blog and your post your not doing to bad yourself, this is a very great community. Some of the most helpful and down to earth people you'll ever meet on the net, despite all our confidence :rockon:

 

[Ease]

If they hate then let them hate, and watch that money pile up.

The traits that make a popular, successful, and womanizing alpha male are not the same that make a 'nice guy'. They are more in line with a 'jerk'.

You can step on whoever you like to get ahead, friends included. Dont be afraid to win.

And certainly dont cry when someone calls you a jerk. Say thanks and brush it off.

 

[Igetit!]

You can step on whoever you like to get ahead, friends included.

That's the thing though....I don't think he's trying to "step on" people.


I think that he just became enlightened by learning more about HIMSELF.


I've been through this before. When you finally realize that YOU matter,that YOU are important,that YOU deserve respect simply because you're an individual on the planet and there only ONE of you,then it'll cause you to stand up for yourself.


Standing up for yourself and trying to put other people down are two different things.


If he were intentionally trying to put down or step on these people who he said were close to him,then them calling him a "jerk" would be justified,and I'd be able to see their point of view,but he's not.



He's just standing up for himself in the midst of a group of people who are used to seeing him down,and that makes them feel uncomfortable,especially if some of them were the ones contributing to putting him down.



He's no longer their "whipping boy". So when they approach him to get over on him like they've been doing for the past 5 or 10 years,then he refuses to be walked on,they're shocked.




They call him refusing to be a doormat,being a jerk.



He's not trying to step on anyone,he's just refusing to allow others to place their foot on him.



If someone tries to put their foot on you,but you slap their foot away,it'll knock them off balance.


That "getting knocked off balance" is what they call being a jerk. He's not trying to knock people down,but if it happens because he slaps their foot away,then that's their problem.

 

[SchoolBoy]

There's this one "friend" of mine in particular. He always wanted to be good with women, and decided to learn seduction stuff like I did around the same time after we both were dumped by our ex girlfriends.

But the problem for him was he wasn't successful because he wouldn't put in the effort to make positive changes within himself. In other words he expected result without effort. Where as I did many things to make my life alot better.

Now that I'm doing way better with women, picking numbers in front of him while we're out. He decides to tell me I gotta stop trying to get women because women aren't important and that it's a negative thing for me to put so much time on getting women.

This was the same guy who sparked the conversation about me being a jerk, and got 2 other friends to agree with him.

It makes a lot of sense what Igetit is saying. Just because I'm not willing to be a doormat, I get called a jerk. It's the same label women give men who they can't walk all over.

Sadly I feel that though these friends aren't ready to accept the fact I'm no longer a "water boy". But hat I do know is, this guy in particular is the type of guy who likes to drag people down with him. He doesn't want anyone to be better than he is.

 

[AtillaTheHun]

Yeah, your friend just can't deal with being all alone while you're out there getting women. It's jealousy man.

 

[Ease]

That's the thing though....I don't think he's trying to "step on" people.

I think that he just became enlightened by learning more about HIMSELF.

I've been through this before. When you finally realize that YOU matter,that YOU are important,that YOU deserve respect simply because you're an individual on the planet and there only ONE of you,then it'll cause you to stand up for yourself.

Standing up for yourself and trying to put other people down are two different things.

If he were intentionally trying to put down or step on these people who he said were close to him,then them calling him a "jerk" would be justified,and I'd be able to see their point of view,but he's not.

He's just standing up for himself in the midst of a group of people who are used to seeing him down,and that makes them feel uncomfortable,especially if some of them were the ones contributing to putting him down.

He's no longer their "whipping boy". So when they approach him to get over on him like they've been doing for the past 5 or 10 years,then he refuses to be walked on,they're shocked.

They call him refusing to be a doormat,being a jerk.

He's not trying to step on anyone,he's just refusing to allow others to place their foot on him.

If someone tries to put their foot on you,but you slap their foot away,it'll knock them off balance.

That "getting knocked off balance" is what they call being a jerk. He's not trying to knock people down,but if it happens because he slaps their foot away,then that's their problem.

I hear you.

Over time a man can be conditioned to be weak. Once you fall into the weak position, you believe it internally and you become it.

The guy who tries to please, help others aswell as himself, kind and considerate, never has a problem doing favours. The 'whipping boy'. These are straight up nice guy, good friend traits. But look deep and you see it stems from weakness.

Subconciously you are not in charge when your with your friends. Someone else is the alpha male in the group, you follow. You find it hard to demand things from friends, asking for favours isnt your favourite thing. Of course you make suggestions for activities, but you ask 'do you guys go to the club?' instead of saying 'hurry up lets go to the club'.

Being nice and friendly goes hand in hand with being a follower.

Once you get your act straight and start becoming a real man, you see and realize so much about yourself, like the OP. You start putting your foot down and getting your way. You get girls. You are no longer the easy 'nice friend'.

They'll call you out, they'll hate. Let them, imagine it bouncing straight off you. You gain no respect from your friends when you let others walk over you or show insecurity. Same thing as game, it applies to life. Once you start acting like a man you will demand and gain respect, people will start doing favours for you. Dont feel guilty to exert your power and establish yourself as an alpha. Dont feel guilty for your success, break out of your beta conditioning and mindframe thats been drilled into us by society.

This is the way it works, the strongest are at the top. You either dominate, or get dominated. Whether you like it or not, this exists. Sometimes very clearly- like in a **** porno, or sometimes very covertly- like in social circle dynamics.

Thats what this forum is all about. This is not just seduction, this is how to be a man. A man is respected by his friends, and his women.

 

[Joe Stud]

ask them to be specific, and cite an example. then when they do, simply explain the following: Not long ago I reevaluated my friendships, etc. And I cut back on the friends that are either disrespectful to me, or simply aren't there for me. I have too much respect for myself (and the loyal friends I choose to keep in my circle), to tolerate the bull, and I have to be true to myself

 

[kingsam]

over time we start moving away from many old freinds...they stay the same, whilst we grow and improve...(or go in a different direction to where we want to go)...

I bet many of us on the forum have an "old group" of buddies, we've known for years and years but are still usless with women - whilst we have grown and taken charge of the woman issue, we get a bit of hate...

and im sure many of us have experienced this

 

[Vice]

This happened to me as well; as soon as ladies started giving me more attention, my old friends started to not like me too much.

It's normal in this scene to have that happen, you're going to have to make new friends.

 

[Desert Fox]

hahaaa AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA

I love this thread.

Reminds me of good times. It has nothing to do with chicks for me...well maybe a little, but I'm basically the most successful out of all my friends and the best part is I don't brag about it at all. They hear about it through OTHER people. Some of them have just random said "I hate you" when we were waiting in line for something and I used to laugh it off. You know , play it cool.

Then one day I was like, "I'm better than these jealous pricks" so instead of laughing I said, "don't blame other people for your shortcomings."

I left, cut contact with all of them deadbeats and my life got so much better when I' found people who were MY caliber. We weren't all chummy but at least my new friends were successful too and we were rivals in a sense. Friendly rivals that exceled at what we all did. Kind of like that scene in thank you for smoking where the three reps get together to eat steak and own their fields.

Life is good. My advice is to laugh it off until you do'nt feel like it anymore then drop them like an anvil.

By the way, the best way to find out if you have pricks of freinds like this is to go to a bar or club with them and they will give you **** for "ditching them" when you go dance with a hot girl. I mean that's some pvssy sh1t women say "omg gurlfriend u ditched usssss."

HAHAHAHA ****ing losers

 

[f283000]

Don't take being called a jerk a bad thing take it as a good thing (specially if women say it).

When you are a nice guy all your life and all of a sudden you start displaying confidence and a bit of ****y ness you will have people start trying to bring you down from all sides.

Women you knew will start to bring you down because you are no longer the nice little well behaved puppy they can control.

Your male friends are going to try to bring you down because they can't handle your new found alphaness and are jealous.

Keep doing what you are doing. Being called a jerk is only a signal that you are on your way.