Just Friends

[Vikman]

When a girl says she wants to be "just friends", we all assume she means "friends" as in buddies or comrads, "not dating". We assume this to be the dreaded "friendzone", we respond with clever lines such as "Friends? I have too many friends. I don't need anymore". We assume this is "just friends". Not in this case.

I met a girl on an online dating site 10 days ago. I was out-of-town at the time. We talked and talked for days. Everything was going great. We clicked and we connected very well. She saw this as romantic. I was going through a tough time in my life it was great to connect with a girl again. I wanted this to last forever. Soon I'm back in town. We meet. The date was good. I paid for everything and we have a great time. No kiss. Okay, not a big deal, it's only the first date...or so I thought.

The next day, she wasn't texting me as much. Until I recieved a text message saying "We should just be Friends". I called her up. ("What the **** do you mean just friends?") She said "we can still like hang out and stuff, but just as friends."

To summarize, she wants us to hang out as friends. Which I took to believe as "okay hanging out as buddies, splitting the bill 50/50?". Wrong. She wants to hang out "just as friends" on "dates" by having me pay the bill and be romantic and...PAY THE BILL. She wants to get to know me in person before deciding if we should be a couple.

I don't mind paying the bill for a date with a girlfriend, but to possible see this chick for two months (she says it might take two months of "just friends" to see if we should be a couple), me pay for everything, with no kissing or sex, stay commited to her by not seeing anyone else, cut my hair and shave my goatee (she wants me to do this), and be "just friends".

Would any of you stand for this? Is this a good idea that she wants us to do or should I split? Once again, meeting her made me feel a lot better. Any changes you would make to her policy of being "just friends".

 

[thewarrior]

**** no.

 

[Igetit!]

Would any of you stand for this? Is this a good idea that she wants us to do or should I split?

WHAT???

Is this a joke? Dude,you CAN'T be serious? I have no problem with you taking her out and paying for everything,but once she decided she wasn't romantically interested in you,that should be the end of it. This is ridiculuos. She's decided to change the way she was in the relationship from a potential sexual interest to just friends,but she wants you to continue being and doing everything exactly the same. She wants to continue getting and receiving in the relationship,but she doesn't want to contribute anything herself. I can't stand women like this,but you know what? It's your fault. She's only doing what you allow her to do. Man,the second she told me she was no longer interested in dating,I'd be gone. And this thing she said about taking two months to decide about dating you....don't believe it. You go two months of this,then when two months have passed,she'll need even more time. She just wants to ride the gravy train of male attention and free dinners without giving anything in return for as long as she can.

This is all 100% ego on her part. "Wow,I got this guy giving me all this attention simply by just existing. I don't have to have sex with him,kiss him,or do anything. He's faithful to me,buys me things,and even changes his personal appearance. And all for little o' me. Wow,I must really be special. How many other girls can say all this?".

This is ALREADY OVER WITH. You know how I know? Cause she's in COMPLETE CONTROL.

Her:Buy me dinner.
You:Yes dear.

Her:Cut your hair.
You:Yes dear.

Her:I haven't decided whether or not I want to date you,so while I'm making up my mind,you stay single and leave other girls alone. I'm busy with other things right now,so when I make up my mind,I'll get back to you.
You:Yes dear.

It's one thing to be in a relationship with someone as controlling as this,but a girl who you're not even dating? Dude,you got some soul searching to do.
Just you asking this question speaks volumes about you.

You said that meeting her made you feel a lot better. Well,why were you feeling bad in the first place? If you have a problem with your self-esteem,meeting someone will make you feel better,but it's dangerous. Self esteem should come from YOUR-SELF. If you're dependant on someone outside of yourself for SELF-esteem,you get exactly what you got here. And you'll continue to put up with it because you'll think you can't get anybody else.

Any changes you would make to her policy of being "just friends".

Oh yeah,I have a change I'd make. I'd tell her to get lost and find herself another sucker to mistreat and mooch off of.