Just friends, or no friends?

[thegoodstuff92]

This girl broke up with me about a week ago. She tried gradually moving our non-exclusive relationship into friendship, at least that is what she told me when I confronted her about her being more distant and less intimate. Being that I still like her and had feelings for her, I told her I needed my space. Mind you this was only about 5 days ago. Just last night she facebook messages me:

Her: you stranger!

Me:lol
what's up


Her: nothing, just got back to le homebase not too long ago
and yourself?

Me: Not much

Her: Um..okay
lol
i feel the radiating power of awkwardness...

Me: sorry
just talking about kotrys (a friend that recently died)

Her:i feel you
it's sad

Me:yeah
gonna go to bed, going to his funeral tomorrow

Her: okay
goodnight

Me: peace

How did I sound? I'm trying to distance her from me, and I can already tell she misses me, I don't know whether it's on a friendly level or not. We used to talk to each other every day practically, so I guess it's killing her a little? I don't want to make myself to available for her, but at the same time I don't want to look like an *******. I possibly want to try and rekindle things, reason being is that before we started dating, she told me she didn't want a relationship anytime soon.

I just can't believe she was the one to message me first. It's only been a week since she dumped me. I went no contact for that entire week, quite proud of myself.
FEEDBACK, go!

 

[Iceberg]

There's really not much to give feedback on. It's a fairly normal conversation. Did you want me to compliment you on being short with her? Sure, that's good. If your goal is to not speak with her, then keep it up.

 

[mahoney]

How did I sound?

it was a bit awkward - and in general i prefer non-awkward to awkward - but at same time you do have the funeral as a valid reason for the awkwardness, so not much of a problem

I'm trying to distance her from me, and I can already tell she misses me, I don't know whether it's on a friendly level or not. We used to talk to each other every day practically, so I guess it's killing her a little?

this may or may not be true - but i wouldn't start putting focus on, or thinking about, how much she misses you or not

I don't want to make myself to available for her, but at the same time I don't want to look like an *******.

right - i think this is a common problem - and people make a common mistake in judging this bit wrongly. its fine to pull back a bit and not be so available, this is good. but the mistake dudes make is that not only do they become less available but they also try and be brusque or short or awkward - and thats TWO changes, not one. imo the idea should be, become less available, dont chase them, back off and let them initiate...BUT...dont become distant, awkward, short etc when they do message you. ie - they speak to you less but when they do speak to you they are reminded what is good about you. if they speak to you less and then its awkward when they do speak to you they're just going to think fair enough he'd rather i didn't bother. which is fine, if thats the effect you want. change one thing (dont chase after them, dont initiate) not two things

I just can't believe she was the one to message me first.

if you back off, often they will message you first - but if you are awkward or they think you are being drama about things, or short with them...they'll stop again. be positive at all times but dont chase