Just found out new girlfriend has been raped. Need advice :(

[Poonani Maker]

(I'm about to go out btw, I'm on wifi at a cafe in my car, and sarge, trying to one-night stand this memorial day. Will leave in about 20 mins. everything closes at 1:30 AM I'm not that horny but will try to get laid)

BAck on subject: Everything you described about the attention rape ***** describes the girl I used to love and still cannot get over. She was Very bizarre, her closest girlfriend seemed trashy (as you say; gave me her phone number etc), and she once said to me, "I haven't had any 'wood' in a long time, and she said that she's only been in a long-term relationship 3 times, "my last boyfriend had a bike (insinuating that I should ride one (I've thought about getting an Electric Harley Standard but not sure if I want one yet)" and she said that we'd need to have more money if we were to get married etc. If I had one word for her, the word would be "Exorcist" because she's like "House of a 1000 Bodies" crazy, deathly and somewhat violent, but she's beautiful and she gets my juices flowing (the danger). She really lights up my life, but everything you described about the Troubled child (her mom died when she was 8) etc fits her to a "T" and now I'm having second thoughts about pursuing her further. I have other options but she's the one who's got her hooks in me the most of any other woman (AND she knows it - that she has the key to me). This woman I've described is dangerous, right? She's also an expert poker player (came in third in a tournament recently here). She's Very Evil and she gets her kicks off of being evil/misleading, but all of her "trashy-appearing" friends say that she's the most Honest person they've ever met. She also didn't like when I said that I didn't like superfluous tats or piercings on people.

I'm Trying to get over this one, and tend to the women who truly love me, but this one feels so much like a source or "motivation" to everything I do, all my decisions, and as a result of that focus, I'm winning in a lot of areas of my life, professionally and with people in general. She was a spark in the beginning (or maybe I tricked myself into thinking she had that effect on me), but now looking back, because of some of the things she did, I'm not so sure she would be good for down the road (especially considering your description in which she fits almost every single one you laid out on the table). Thanks.

 

[MacDiddy]

The reaction by many people on this board is sick.

You are a Capt-Save-A-Ho with too much sympathy,

The suspicion and hostility with which many of you respond to a girl reporting she has been raped is one of the reasons girls are reluctant to report this in the first place.

And so they should be. Rape is a serious matter that cannot be taken lightly. People wrong us all the time, but does that mean we go to the police/courts for every little problem.

Again, it is disgusting that the minute a girl claims she has been raped some of these people call her a liar.

Why would a chick tell someone she's been raped unless its to ilicit a response and that response is sympathy, "let me have my way cause I've suffered already".. Its like, victims the world over telling everyone that they;ve been assaulted to anyone that would hear them. enough already.. you suffered at someone elses hands get on with life you losers.

Its people like you captsaveaho that respond with so much energy that make chicks wanna cry rape all the time. She's still hanging out with this guy because she's probably confused as to whether she consented via her drinking or whether its such a big deal since she didn't struggle and suffer violent trauma like most victims do. She got used and is confused as to whether she was made to look cheap and is deciding if she wants revenge or not.

In summary, it would be great of you to give her emotional support for her sake.

Only if you have benefits in return.

 

[Last Man Standing]

MacDiddy, don't respond to this false claim - she said she was a virgin before she got raped and a few weeks later she is having sexual relations i.e. horing with DJ Lazy!! Virgins don't do this after they just been "raped" - the claim is bogus!! Let these young kids be deceived by their own minds!!!

 

[Nightwing]

He would never establish what happened. Only the girl know what happened or what happened in her head. The whole point is that the story is wrapped in a nice little package and it just doesn't add up or sit right with me.

There is more to this story she is not telling you and whatever she did tell you is construed in such a way that it makes her seem to be 100% innocent victim. I just don't buy everything, I have heard and seen too many sh1t in my life to believe that.

Women who are raped are never the same, I don't envy you the kind of sh1t that you will encounter down the road.

I agree with you 100% and that's what I stated in my original post on this topic. It sounds like to me that she created a version of the story that didn't make her look like the slut in this scenario. She knew TheLazy and this guy knew each other, so she made herself look as innocent as she possibly could.

Like I said before, it sounded like they were both drinking, got drunk, then got thier freak on.

I agree with you, I don't buy the whole story either.

 

[MacDiddy]

MacDiddy, don't respond to this false claim - she said she was a virgin before she got raped and a few weeks later she is having sexual relations i.e. horing with DJ Lazy!! Virgins don't do this after they just been "raped" - the claim is bogus!! Let these young kids be deceived by their own minds!!!

If all men could just ignore whenever a chick cry's rape, then this BS could be left in the hands of the justice system and not fcuk up our game. However, none of us should sweat it cause its just limits the competition to those in the know.

 

[Latinoman]

Hi everyone, I've been going out with this girl from my dorm/college for about a month now, she is generally very energetic and bright- the type of girl you would think has never been exposed to any of the darkness of human nature.

I could not have been more wrong, she told me last night that one of the guys in our circle (we are pretty much friends with everyone in our dorm, and this guy was one of my really good friends before I found out about this) managed to get her really drunk (or spiked the drink) and raped her while she constantly said "no" and "stop it". This probably happened about 2 or 3 months ago, before we started dating. The guy lives in our college as well.

I'm getting torn apart inside.... I see these 2 people everyday and right now my instinct is to murder that guy who used to be my good friend. My gf has been speaking to advisers and the head of the college and even filed a report on the police, she hasn't told me the exact details, but apparently the police can't really do much about it unless someone else files a report against him too.

She doesn't want anyone else to know, and is pretending still to be acquaintances with the other guy while keeping a distance against him, since pretty much all of our friends are in the same circle. I'm not sure what to do... This is probably one of the most messed up things that i've ever been involved in- girlfriend raped by a ex-good friend. I'm not going to abandon her because of this because it's against my morals, and I want retribution on that complete failure of a guy.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


Edit****

Im not even going to argue with people with regard to if she actually did get raped or not. Because it is rape as long as the sex isn't consensual, and it wasn't. "No doesn't mean yes".

The first night she slept in my room, I tried to get into her pants as well, but she said no and wanted to wait so she could get to know me better, and that's what I did (despite several more attempts). If i hadn't waited, I would have been a rapist too, although she would be able to put up a struggle because she's not drugged or completely smashed. By waiting, we became a couple soon and after about a week, I had sex with her consent.

Maybe something similar happened to them as well, except the scum thought "No means yes".

The point of this thread is, I'm asking for advice, not here to listen to people accuse my gf of being a w.hore. I would appreciate it if you can respect that.

Here is MY advice as a man that is 39 years old. It is HER problem. It is for HER to take care of this. Not your problem.

If she still deals with him or hangs with him or near him...then something is VERY fishy.

For your sake and that of your future...let the LAW determine if this was indeed a rape. Don't be a fool. There plenty of fools in jail. Don't be one.

 

[Latinoman]

Are you a police officer? No? Then stay the hell out of it!!!! What is it that you do not understand???????

Is she your momma, your sister, your wife? Your daughter??????

Mind your own damn business!!!!!

I agree with this.

 

[Latinoman]

By waiting, we became a couple soon and after about a week, I had sex with her consent.

.[/B]

WAITTTTTTTTT a minute.

You are telling me she was a virgin and got raped. Then a few months later she has consent sex with you (her first time having consent sex with anyone)? What about the TRAUMA?

Which brings me to the next point...she still hangs with that guy.

Listen...even if she was rape (REALLY rape)...it is NOT your responsibility to take care of business. You will go to jail and you will regret it.

Let the authorities deal with this...and stop acting like an AFC!

 

[Latinoman]

she is getting counseling right now. I guess the reason I've been able to have sex with her is because my game is way too good (yes arrogant). Anyway, thanks for the comments everyone, I do see what you are saying and it's bothering me a lot less now.

Your game is too good? Son...the only one being PLAYED in here is...YOU.

 

[Latinoman]

I agree with you 100% and that's what I stated in my original post on this topic. It sounds like to me that she created a version of the story that didn't make her look like the slut in this scenario. She knew TheLazy and this guy knew each other, so she made herself look as innocent as she possibly could.

Like I said before, it sounded like they were both drinking, got drunk, then got thier freak on.

I agree with you, I don't buy the whole story either.

Even if she was TRULY raped...it is NOT LAzy's responsibility to take action. The law should take action. If he takes action, he will be risking his entire life as he will probably go to prison. And he will regret it too!

 

[Nightwing]

Even if she was TRULY raped...it is NOT LAzy's responsibility to take action. The law should take action. If he takes action, he will be risking his entire life as he will probably go to prison. And he will regret it too!

My statement that you're referring to isn't implying that he needs to take any action, rather it's more about using good judgement. I agree that he needs to let the law intervene in this matter, instead of trying to play the Save a ho since he's only going to get in over his head in this matter. That statement wasn't in any means implying that he needs to get involved in this girl's problems.

The problem with Lazy is just that, he's too lazy to utilize any good judgement or independent thinking of his own. He's allowed himself to get sucked into this chick's drama and has made a serious accusation against a friend simply because he wants to get into this chick's panties and not analyze the situation objectively. He really doesn't even know if what she's saying is the truth and doesn't have the sense to remove himself from the situation.

So, is this saying that Lazy needs to involve himself in all this?? Of course not. It's just saying that he needs to use his brain and think before he acts.

 

[Latinoman]

My statement that you're referring to isn't implying that he needs to take any action, rather it's more about using good judgement. I agree that he needs to let the law intervene in this matter, instead of trying to play the Save a ho since he's only going to get in over his head in this matter. That statement wasn't in any means implying that he needs to get involved in this girl's problems.

The problem with Lazy is just that, he's too lazy to utilize any good judgement or independent thinking of his own. He's allowed himself to get sucked into this chick's drama and has made a serious accusation against a friend simply because he wants to get into this chick's panties and not analyze the situation objectively. He really doesn't even know if what she's saying is the truth and doesn't have the sense to remove himself from the situation.

So, is this saying that Lazy needs to involve himself in all this?? Of course not. It's just saying that he needs to use his brain and think before he acts.

I know what you meant. I was simply ADDING to your post.

Sorry for misunderstanding.

 

[Nightwing]

I know what you meant. I was simply ADDING to your post.

Sorry for misunderstanding.

No prob bro, I wasn't trying to flame you. I was just clarifying my position on the matter. I just didn't know if you thought I was one of the posters here coaching Lazy into getting sucked into this girls problems. I really agree with you on this. It's not Lazy's place to intervene nor to take any position in this matter. Like you said before, his Save A Ho antics is going to get him in trouble. As you stated, matters like this need to be addressed by law enforcement and not him.

 

[MacDiddy]

Blah Blah Blah
Sorry for misunderstanding.

No prob bro, I wasn't trying to flame you. blah blah blah

Isn't that cute... this show of love...

 

[Nightwing]

Isn't that cute... this show of love...

Hey, were all bros here!!!!

 

[Sexual]

not even gonna read this. break up with her. she's not over it and it will drive you nuts. you dont need the baggage. please please please. ive dated two girls for long periods of time that were raped. dont it man. run, just runnnnnnn....

 

[guitarslinger]

Hey dude,

I had a girlfriend who was raped once. If you want to pursue anything with her is up to you, don't let it affect your decision. If you want to sort it properly you should think about seeing a psyche together if she wants to, she probably won't because she'll most likely have a guilt complex and she may not trust you that much. She should think about going anyway. Just remember you're not a counsellor or a health professional and any issues associated with what happened can not be sorted out by you.

 

[typical]

Ok just how does a women in this age of AFC men get raped ?? Like really with all the cans of mace and self defence classes on these days is it even possible ?

Especially chicks that wear those tight jeans man they take ages to pull off when they do want to do it with you let alone how hard it would be if you were trying to rape her.

Unless a bunch of guys jumped her when she was walking through a park at night then man its hard to believe how a girl gets raped these days.

And most rape cases the girl was already alone with the guy and he pushed too far too hard and she let him fu(k her then 2 weeks later calls him out for raping her.

Heard so many stories of some guy raped me blah blah blah. Most girls that do get raped let it happen to them cause most of the guys out there today are wussies.

And WTF she still hangs out with the guy that raped her ............ and you nailed her as well ........... man wheres jerry springer when you need him.

Ditch her man your getting yourselve a whoile heap of trouble and it aint worth it man.

 

[LovelyLady]

http://web.mit.edu/stop/www/statistics.htm

http://www2.ucsc.edu/rape-prevention/statistics.html

http://oncampus.richmond.edu/academics/journalism/magazine/4-97/features/articles/f-daterape.html

By the age of 21, the under-estimate is that 3 out of 4 women have been sexually asulted - That is THREE out of FOUR. These women are your sisters, cousins, classmates, Aunts, Mothers, co-workers, and girlfriends, wives.

Only MEN can stop rape.

 

[typical]

And you expect me to believe that dumb statistic ?? LOL