Just found out new girlfriend has been raped. Need advice :(

[TheLazy]

Hi everyone, I've been going out with this girl from my dorm/college for about a month now, she is generally very energetic and bright- the type of girl you would think has never been exposed to any of the darkness of human nature.

I could not have been more wrong, she told me last night that one of the guys in our circle (we are pretty much friends with everyone in our dorm, and this guy was one of my really good friends before I found out about this) managed to get her really drunk (or spiked the drink) and raped her while she constantly said "no" and "stop it". This probably happened about 2 or 3 months ago, before we started dating. The guy lives in our college as well.

I'm getting torn apart inside.... I see these 2 people everyday and right now my instinct is to murder that guy who used to be my good friend. My gf has been speaking to advisers and the head of the college and even filed a report on the police, she hasn't told me the exact details, but apparently the police can't really do much about it unless someone else files a report against him too.

She doesn't want anyone else to know, and is pretending still to be acquaintances with the other guy while keeping a distance against him, since pretty much all of our friends are in the same circle. I'm not sure what to do... This is probably one of the most messed up things that i've ever been involved in- girlfriend raped by a ex-good friend. I'm not going to abandon her because of this because it's against my morals, and I want retribution on that complete failure of a guy.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


Edit****

Im not even going to argue with people with regard to if she actually did get raped or not. Because it is rape as long as the sex isn't consensual, and it wasn't. "No doesn't mean yes".

The first night she slept in my room, I tried to get into her pants as well, but she said no and wanted to wait so she could get to know me better, and that's what I did (despite several more attempts). If i hadn't waited, I would have been a rapist too, although she would be able to put up a struggle because she's not drugged or completely smashed. By waiting, we became a couple soon and after about a week, I had sex with her consent.

Maybe something similar happened to them as well, except the scum thought "No means yes".

The point of this thread is, I'm asking for advice, not here to listen to people accuse my gf of being a w.hore. I would appreciate it if you can respect that.

 

[Obsidian]

My gf...even filed a report on the police, she hasn't told me the exact details, but apparently the police can't really do much about it unless someone else files a report against him too.

She obviously didn't file it right after the crime, or else they wouldn't be telling her that bull$hit. Or she's lying to you. You honestly don't think one rape is enough to land yourself in jail? Didn't you say you were a college student?

 

[TheLazy]

yes we are college students. I live in australia, maybe there's a difference with regard to the police here. I'm going to call the cops later and ask about that.

 

[In2theGame]

Hi everyone, I've been going out with this girl from my dorm/college for about a month now, she is generally very energetic and bright- the type of girl you would think has never been exposed to any of the darkness of human nature.

I could not have been more wrong, she told me last night that one of the guys in our circle (we are pretty much friends with everyone in our dorm, and this guy was one of my really good friends before I found out about this) managed to get her really drunk (or spiked the drink) and raped her while she constantly said "no" and "stop it". This probably happened about 2 or 3 months ago, before we started dating. The guy lives in our college as well.

I'm getting torn apart inside.... I see these 2 people everyday and right now my instinct is to murder that guy who used to be my good friend. My gf has been speaking to advisers and the head of the college and even filed a report on the police, she hasn't told me the exact details, but apparently the police can't really do much about it unless someone else files a report against him too.

She doesn't want anyone else to know, and is pretending still to be acquaintances with the other guy while keeping a distance against him, since pretty much all of our friends are in the same circle. I'm not sure what to do... This is probably one of the most messed up things that i've ever been involved in- girlfriend raped by a ex-good friend. I'm not going to abandon her because of this because it's against my morals, and I want retribution on that complete failure of a guy.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Uh Oh. Stay away from these. youve been warned.....:nono:

 

[backbreaker]

You >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>exit

 

[Last Man Standing]

Another hor blaming liquor the guy gave her!!! Quit getting with a drunk shameless hor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Last Man Standing]

yes we are college students. I live in australia, maybe there's a difference with regard to the police here. I'm going to call the cops later and ask about that.

Quit being a fool - it is none of your damn business!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you a Capt'n Sav-A-Ho???

 

[Obsidian]

Are you a Capt'n Sav-A-Ho???

Well, it's POSSIBLE that the girl is telling the truth, that maybe she did get raped. But let's look at the inconsistencies. He spiked her drink OR just got her plain drunk (she's not sure which? hmm). Then, when she was completely intoxicated and defenseless, she still had the ability to call out "Stop! No, don't sex me!"? It doesn't sound like there was any point in drugging her to begin with if she was gonna shout out stuff and resist anyway. How does she even remember the episode?

Then, she filed a report, and the cops aren't willing to do anything until they get a SECOND report of rape by the same guy?! That would only be the case if there weren't any real evidence.

Among guys' responsibilities guys is the responsibility not to rape people and to protect others from such violence. Among womens' responsibilities is to report it asap if you get raped. Don't shower, don't go home and cry and go to sleep and call your mother and talk about it to your boyfriend a month later. I mean, it's not the easiest or proudest thing you're ever going to do, but if you want justice, it's your responsibility. You can probably even just call 9-1-1 and let them put you through to the police. That's three digits on the phone! How hard can it be?!

 

[TheLazy]

okay, she told me she was still a little bit aware of what was happening, but was completely dizzy and couldn't put up a struggle at all. The only things she could do was trying to tell him to stop, which didn't work.

 

[backbreaker]

The question isn't rather she got raped or not, if you stay either way, it's a loosing situtation.

that's why i said RUN.

if she didn't get raped, she's a lying attention ***** that will eventually accuse you of a crime when you piss her off

if she DID get raped, i hate to say it, I really do, but she's damnaged goods, there are plenty captian kirk's out there for there to cuddle her and put up with nights of fustrations for not getting any and the emotional scares

you are too young to be dealing with this **** that you have no part in. move on

 

[In2theGame]

okay, she told me she was still a little bit aware of what was happening,

My Question would be to her....... Why did you put yourself in that situation? To me, Its all Bull****. Girls ALWAYS!!!!!!!!! make an excuse for everything.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Did he drag her into a cave and rape her or did she go voluntarily??? Voluntarily!!!! Voluntarily!!!!! Voluntarily!!!!! You get the point!!!

BTW, YOU don't know what happened - stay out of it!!!!!!!!!!!

Was she a virgin?

 

[naes420]

Quit being a fool - it is none of your damn business!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you a Capt'n Sav-A-Ho???

you people take this dj stuff way to seriously...you need to set apart your fuking IM A PIMP **** for LIFE..LIKE THIS!! help her out ..

 

[In2theGame]

you people take this dj stuff way to seriously...you need to set apart your fuking IM A PIMP **** for LIFE..LIKE THIS!! help her out ..

I understand what your saying but if she really did get raped, she wont be the same. When he tries to hold her, kiss her, have sex with her,.. she will be scared that he is going to try and force her to do something. She will always feel uneasy and Forced. PLUS, if ANYTHING she is in demand in this situation because she can always blame it on her being "raped" before. It ill be too difficult.

 

[backbreaker]

dude, you are 17. this isn't your wife. Take it from someone whoose been there. she's damnaged goods.

it has nothing to do with this false sense of bravado you are thinking about.

it has EVERYTHING to do with getting emotinally involved with someone whoose already emotionally fvcked up.

Why put yourself though that situtation.

it's like getting in line volenterrly to jump off a 10 story building.. why? espically when you can wait a little bit untilt he elevator comes up and can take you down to the bottom floor

 

[TheLazy]

The question isn't rather she got raped or not, if you stay either way, it's a loosing situtation.

that's why i said RUN.

if she didn't get raped, she's a lying attention ***** that will eventually accuse you of a crime when you piss her off

if she DID get raped, i hate to say it, I really do, but she's damnaged goods, there are plenty captian kirk's out there for there to cuddle her and put up with nights of fustrations for not getting any and the emotional scares

you are too young to be dealing with this **** that you have no part in. move on

good advice man.

The dilemma I'm in right now is that I live with both of these people. If I didn't, it would be easy to just 'leave' and not deal with this, but it is nearly impossible atm. She is very much attached to me and pretty much obeys my every whim and I do have some feelings for her too, it's not like I can just dump her like this and completely devastate her life and betray her trust, while carry on to see her everyday like nothing's happened, it'll probably mess her life up too. Call me a captain-save-a-ho or whatever, but I just can't do that and not feel disgusted at myself, it's completely against the moral, upstanding person I always wanted myself to be.

I am too young to put up this crap, and nobody should have to put up with it, but damn there doesn't seem to be a good way out of this besides moving to another dormitory next semester.

 

[Last Man Standing]

you people take this dj stuff way to seriously...you need to set apart your fuking IM A PIMP **** for LIFE..LIKE THIS!! help her out ..

You are young kid - you will understand later in life!!!!

Say "No" to hos!!!!!!!

 

[TheLazy]

Did he drag her into a cave and rape her or did she go voluntarily??? Voluntarily!!!! Voluntarily!!!!! Voluntarily!!!!! You get the point!!!

BTW, YOU don't know what happened - stay out of it!!!!!!!!!!!

Was she a virgin?

okay guys, the thing is she didn't make this up. She used to live in singapore in a boarding school and she was friends with a lot of guys (tomboyish girl), and all the guys looked out and protected her, which is why she trusted the guys here initially, because she thought things would be the same here. I blame her naivety and inexperience to the real world for getting herself into this mess initially.

She was a virgin before getting raped.

 

[naes420]

my grandmother was raped in a concentraion camp and was never the same i know wat people get like...but my point is your human and so are they, life isnt about ****ing them necsesarily, if you where raped by a 60 year old man when u where 20 wouldnt you like the comfort of knowing someone is there for you??

 

[backbreaker]

I understand what your saying but if she really did get raped, she wont be the same. When he tries to hold her, kiss her, have sex with her,.. she will be scared they he is going to try and force her to do something. PLUS, if ANYTHING she is in demand in this situation because she can always blame it on her being "raped" before. It ill be too difficult.

or you can turn out like this one girl I messed around with (that i found out after the fact) and become the next superhero....


:box: :box:

• 
  SUPERWH0RE

what were her powers might you ask?

Well, she could tackle mutliple d!cks at once. she had endless stanima.. The only girl I ever said "look *****, i'm done for tonight".. I fvcked this ***** 10 ****ing times in one night.. and i'm not a minute man. 10 times! and she wanted more! I couldn't even product sperm by the time i was done.

This girl was so fvcked in the head... (she was married to boot), I could call her when she was with her husband and say "look.. you need to bring me something to eat, and my friends too". She would bring us food, and then ask me was it okay to fvck me and my friends.. all the time when her husband is stitting at home waiting for her to come back from her "study group"

I knew she was as ***** so I didn't care.. i just enjoyed the sex. Once night spent the night with me, I woke up at about 2 to feet my parrot at the time (that she bought for me mind you) and noticed she wasn't there. I woke back up for work at about 7 and she was there, I asked where she was, and she said "booty call... want me to cook later on?" she has no shame.. and I loved it.

it was like she was going to fvck her memories away and if it was possible she was damn well goign to do it.