Just found out I got cheated on, how do I deal with it?

[Alvafe]

dude she only told you she cheated on you to make you feel bad, she only want to boost her ego to amke you feel bad.

here is teh deal youa re not the fool, you will only be a fool if you let her get back to your life, now you just delete all info you have from her and go find another girl and don't answer her anymore. she is the *****, keep your head high and move on, she is not worth the time you would spend to even thinking about anything she did.

 

[Cremasta]

also we are meeting today to hear more of her confessions

This is really not a good reason to meet her... in fact there are NO good reasons to meet her, unless she's returning some of your stuff.

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

dude she only told you she cheated on you to make you feel bad, she only want to boost her ego to amke you feel bad.

Negative. My "friend" the dude in question, confessed it too

 

[Reptile]

Saw this on 9gag, kinda related:

http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4979905_460s.jpg

Haha!

No seriously, go no contact as everyone says. Do this:

-Delete AND block her from facebook.
-Only have her number in your phone so you know what number you gonna ignore. If u feel that u are gonna call/text her when u feel weak, then delete it.
-Delete or hide photos of her. EVERY reminder has to go away.

I made a mistake and let news from facebook get in my head about her life,
it wasn't until I blocked her and deleted some friends who rubbed her life in my face and her mother that I realised how good NC is.

EVERY LITTLE THING is a BIG reminder, doesn't matter how small.
If you see her comment on mutual friends status (doesn't matter what she writes) it's gonna bite your brain and you will feel bad eventually. Believe me.

Don't let ANYTHING about her come in to your head, this is the key.
And don't go anywhere were she would likely to be.

 

[AAAgent]

we broke up 2 weeks ago over something completely different and now that we got in contact again she mentioned her cheating on me 2 months ago and it seems that I am back to square one, seriously she contacted me everyday right after we broke up

and this revenge thing that you speak of sounds like a GREAT idea as of now, also we are meeting today to hear more of her confessions


sofomore, I dont think a woman like that exists man, this is proof that those days are gone

She already confessed that she broke your trust and disrespected you. I don't know anyone that recovers from broken trust and disrespect without ending it.

on top of that, now you're going to meet up with her to hear how she broke your trust and disrespected you some more....Do you have any dignity?

Man up, suck up the pain and break up with the b1tch. then go no contact.

 

[Alvafe]

Negative. My "friend" the dude in question, confessed it too

good then you can cut the dude out too because if he was your friend he wouldn't bang her, also confessing something only means they feel bad about thenselfs, it not about you its about then and how they feel,

just cut the ***** out and move on

and you should just never let her try to explain things to you, it have nothing to explain, from now on just ignore her, starting by not calling her ever again and not showing up on that meet.

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

UPDATE!


Ok so I cancelled on her, politely even, she then texted me "dont you want to know why I did what I did?"

I just told her I will let her know...WTF


Do you guys think its important to know why someone cheated on you?

also, do you guys think its relevant/important to know if it ended at making out at the back seat of his car to actually fvcking back at her dorm? Its like the unknown is killing me, though its a real possibility by the looks of it, it seems like she is gonna deny it anyway...so confused

 

[blueeyedgent]

JohnnyS,

Take this advice from a more mature guy outside your situation. You DON'T want to know anything - the what, why, where and who. You already know 2 of those 4, and knowing more is only going to hurt you more.

The more you know, and the longer you drag this out, the worse you are going to feel. You will not feel any better than you do now, it will only pile on and make it worse.

So embrace your no contact, and stick with it. Take your lessons learned, hold your head high, and as a man with standards and a prize to other more WORTHY women, move on.

 

[Uberguy]

UPDATE!


Ok so I cancelled on her, politely even, she then texted me "dont you want to know why I did what I did?"

I just told her I will let her know...WTF


Do you guys think its important to know why someone cheated on you?

also, do you guys think its relevant/important to know if it ended at making out at the back seat of his car to actually fvcking back at her dorm? Its like the unknown is killing me, though its a real possibility by the looks of it, it seems like she is gonna deny it anyway...so confused

To answer your first question, no. It doesn't matter why she cheated, it only matters that she did.

I'm really disgusted that this c#nt wants to share her reasoning with you. As if it's a perfectly defensible act that has an explanation. That tells you what kind of a person you're dealing with: utter trash. If she wants attention, she can get it from that guy she cheated on you with.

As for your second question, you should not care. Seriously. It's clear that you do, but years from now, you'll be really embarrassed that you were willing to sacrifice so much of your dignity in order to get "closure".

The best course of action from this point is complete and total No Contact. And not this polite, "I'm calling just to let you know I need space" nonsense. Cut her off completely. Block her on Facebook. Never call or email her again. If she tries contacting you, ignore her. Maybe then, and only then, she'll connect the dots: if she treats a quality guy like crap, she'll never be able to enjoy his company again.

To do anything else is to reward her for being a sl#t. Don't be that guy.

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

You guys above make excellent points, however I don't know why I feel like I need to know the details in order to move on, I guess it's the "I-don't-want-to-be-made-more-of-a-fool-of" reflex kicking in, just wanted to know if knowing is a good idea

 

[Atom Smasher]

NO A thousand times, NO!

Her ONLY goal right now is to make herself feel better. She will do this by blaming you for her behavior. I 100% guarantee this. She will tell you how you didn't give her enough attention, how you did this and that, and on it goes. It's all designed so that she can relieve her guilt to enable her to move on.

She cares about herself and her feelings, not you, that's for sure.

The best thing you can do right now is completely cut her off. Let her suffer for her indiscretions. I'm telling you, brother, her brain is working furiously to relieve her guilt and blame you. Don't let it happen!

She is worthless to you. You found out who she really is. Therefore, let go of wanting to find out the specifics. The only thing that drives that desire is because a part of you wonders if there is any chance that she is justified in her behavior, maybe it's not as bad as you thought, and maybe you can work it out.

You can't. She violated a sacred trust and needs to be kicked to the curb. If you meet with her you will regret it.

 

[Uberguy]

You guys above make excellent points, however I don't know why I feel like I need to know the details in order to move on, I guess it's the "I-don't-want-to-be-made-more-of-a-fool-of" reflex kicking in, just wanted to know if knowing is a good idea

The most foolish thing you can do is meet her and ask her what she thinks. That validates whatever BS she has swimming around in her head. Remember (or learn) the lesson from Wargames: the only winning move is not to play.

You think meeting with her will provide you with insight. You are mistaken. This is an understandably human trait, but it is a mistake all the same. What meeting with her does is provide her with the ability to justify (at least to herself...and possibly to you) her behavior. Do you really want to give her a pass for doing the unforgivable?

The great thing about No Contact is that it forces your heart to realize what your brain already knows on some level: her opinion is worthless. She has already proven that with her behavior. It's better to never contact her again. To do otherwise is to show her respect. And that's not right, consider that regardless of what she says, she clearly has no respect for you.

 

[Cremasta]

Ok so I cancelled on her, politely even, she then texted me "dont you want to know why I did what I did?"

"No, I don't care about your reason, or anything else about you for that matter!"

 

[Albatross953]

"No, I don't care about your reason, or anything else about you for that matter!"

How about "No but thanks for offering. Take care."

No contact, no visible effect on you.

 

[Uberguy]

she then texted me "dont you want to know why I did what I did?"

"Nope. Bye."

 

[Atom Smasher]

"Nope. Bye."

Exactly. Marginalize her.

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

I just went with "I'll let you know, cya"

She couldn't wait and she just texted me if we can talk.

She just called and I sent it to voicemail she is saying how she is sorry but not really and that what happened to him and her really didn't mean anything to her and that she knows it's messed up and she felt guilty afterwards and she did it because she was under the influence of alcohol and she wouldn't done it if it wasn't for the alcohol. And if she can turn back the time, she would stop herself from doing so. And also said that "it just happened" and she don't understand why I was so hurt.

I don't know what to make of this.

EDIT: she also said that they didn't have sex, just made out. (when she "confessed" the first time I asked her out of impulse but I felt like she is lying, I still think she is lying, but as I said for some reason I want to confirm)

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

I'm gonna go drown myself in whiskey, I would go out tonight but tbh my self confidence/esteem took the blow. I felt like I lost the war and I got nothing to show for

 

[Uberguy]

I'm gonna go drown myself in whiskey, I would go out tonight but tbh my self confidence/esteem took the blow. I felt like I lost the war and I got nothing to show for

And here is the irony: you feel like you lost something valuable, when all you've actually done is get rid of some trash.

Her attempt to blame it on the alcohol says it all. "I can't be responsible for my actions, so I'll blame the booze." Like that would work in a court of law. "Sorry I raped that girl, your honor, but I had some Jameson's that night, so it's not really my fault. I don't see why everyone's upset."

You seem like you have a really bad case of oneitis for this girl, but with time, you'll truly realize how much better you are without her. If you lost someone valuable, I'd honestly empathize. But all you're doing is standing up for yourself and liberating yourself from a sl#t that can't accept responsibility for her actions and then acts like you're unreasonable for expecting fidelity. Do you really want to devote all you have to offer to someone who would cheat on you again the next time she got drunk?

When you take the trash out of your home, do you cry for the empty pizza boxes that you're throwing out? Or do you not even think about it, because trash isn't worth thinking about?

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

And here is the irony: you feel like you lost something valuable, when all you've actually done is get rid of some trash.

Her attempt to blame it on the alcohol says it all. "I can't be responsible for my actions, so I'll blame the booze." Like that would work in a court of law. "Sorry I raped that girl, your honor, but I had some Jameson's that night, so it's not really my fault. I don't see why everyone's upset."

You seem like you have a really bad case of oneitis for this girl, but with time, you'll truly realize how much better you are without her. If you lost someone valuable, I'd honestly empathize. But all you're doing is standing up for yourself and liberating yourself from a sl#t that can't accept responsibility for her actions and then acts like you're unreasonable for expecting fidelity. Do you really want to devote all you have to offer to someone who would cheat on you again the next time she got drunk?

When you take the trash out of your home, do you cry for the empty pizza boxes that you're throwing out? Or do you not even think about it, because trash isn't worth thinking about?

No dude, definitely dont want her back. Except that there are things that I dont know and it bothers me.

Also, since our whole ethos here is "We are Alpha" or "we are Don Juans" that we are not like the average man however I just got cuckolded like an average man, I fell for it, i fell for her tricks dude.

tl;dr I dont feel so alpha

One thing is for sure though, I dont think I will ever go to an LTR. I dont think anyone who cant read minds and to see the future should.