JohnnyStrabler
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2011
- Messages
- 146
- Reaction score
- 4
I feel like s#it, honestly, how does one deal with it?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
she admitted it, though it was 2 months ago she made a fool out of me for 2 monthsReptile said:Well if you got proof of it: Tell her u know and dumb that b*tch! She doesn't deserve you.
Then go out and hook up with girls and enjoy single life, that will make her jelaous and feel bad.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
If she really cared about you, she'd never have told you and you'd have never found out. What's she's done is get something off her chest, confessed, if you like while at the same time making you feel like sh!t.JohnnyStrabler said:she admitted it, though it was 2 months ago she made a fool out of me for 2 months
we broke up 2 weeks ago over something completely different and now that we got in contact again she mentioned her cheating on me 2 months ago and it seems that I am back to square one, seriously she contacted me everyday right after we broke upCremasta said:If she really cared about you, she'd never have told you and you'd have never found out. What's she's done is get something off her chest, confessed, if you like while at the same time making you feel like sh!t.
How did her confessing benefit you?
I'm a bit more spiteful than the other posters. I'd tell her I love her, beg her never to leave me, treat her like she's the centre of the universe. In the background, I'd go and find me another girl, and when this cheating slag thinks she can't live without me... just leave.
I guess I just have a long term view of revenge.
Sofomore said:Nah you are being pessimistic. We all know they exist. It is the lazy man's route to not look for it. This is why almost married man is an AFC...they put up with their wife's BS because they haven't dated enough women.
Do you really want to marry this girl? If you are slightly leaning toward no, you know your answer.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
And here I am thinking that in order for an LTR to go good is if I stop talking to other women. I dont know if I should end everything right now, though because Cremasta's idea of revenge sounds good.Sofomore said:LTR should develop because you have a real bond with a woman, not because you "want to have a LTR". Dont set yourself up for disaster dude, you need to get out ASAP. If you don't, take a long hard look at your life and think about what you are doing.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Fvck yeah ^^^^this^^^J Roc said:Cancel that ***** like Nino
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dV6xgXXd51E
Especially if she already cheated, what do you think she'll be doing while youre on tour?seethehoop said:Ok let me get this straight, you split up and then she told you she cheated. That's either really cold or she had some justified reason to stick the knife in. if you gave her no reason to be this callous to you then you need to cut this out of your life. 100% no going back, no going forward just nothing, you and her are done.
also if you ate planning on going into the military I don't see ltrs being a possibility. its not fair to make someone wait for you whilst you are away all the time. I think you need to really think about that.
Anyways feel for ya man, keep ya sh!t together. You'll be stronger for it.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.