Just don't give a hoot

[Knight's Cross]

Ever just not give a crap to chase tail? I'm 41, in good shape, but right now I've got a huge work project that's literally taking like 60-70 hours a week. So outside of running and hitting the gym I've got like 0 time in my life to chase women.
I'd much rather hit the next level in the workplace and make more $ than I am right now. Women just don't really interest me. Most that I've run into lately are either obsessed with boring crap, or they just can't keep my attention for more than a couple rendesvous. I've gotten into just taking them along for runs or workouts. These are all women I've known for awhile. Like I said, I've got 0 time to effort gaming new plates.
Perhaps it'll change I look back at my life and a couple years ago as a airline pilot I was gaming like multiple plates, I'd have dates stacked up 2 a day in alot of occasions.
So I ask the forum, ever find yourself in a spot like this? I'm not really complaining. I just woke up this am, and realized here I am. More concerned with my empire building.
KC

 

[High Voltage]

You may be in the minority *here* simply because most of us initially came here to learn to get women. So for many of us it is our goal.

Rationally, I have little desire to have women in my life. The trade-off between sex and drama isn't worth it. Then I'll go to the gym and see the cardio bunnies and biology asserts itself. I'll ignore it and all will be well once again when I leave.

I have no major project consuming my time either. I could probably go out and hit on girls every night if I wanted to. For me, it's a matter of an informed choice made on past experiences.

 

[Knight's Cross]

HV, I hear ya. I started learning here a couple years ago. Picked up lots of great information, ideas, advice. You are right, most of the forum is about interacting with women.
I guess that's one of the issues with understanding the matrix. Once you get it, there's almost a downside. You now know that most women, heck most people are full of crap. Like you wrote, the tradeoff sex vs. drama just doesn't make it worth it sometimes. That's why I'm not letting any plate too close right now. Part of it is I just don't have the time, part of it is I'm actually doing something moral and not leading any chicks into thinking I have time for them. A couple of female friends are actually intrigued by it. It sort of follows another post on the forum right now. Have passion for something in life. Be interesting. Women can't get enough of that. I've got a interesting career in aviation. I've let alot of my hobbies slide off right now, but the career is something I'm passionate about. That's crack to most chicks.
KC

 

[Zunder]

Ever just not give a crap to chase tail? I'm 41, in good shape, but right now I've got a huge work project that's literally taking like 60-70 hours a week. So outside of running and hitting the gym I've got like 0 time in my life to chase women.
I'd much rather hit the next level in the workplace and make more $ than I am right now. Women just don't really interest me. Most that I've run into lately are either obsessed with boring crap, or they just can't keep my attention for more than a couple rendesvous. I've gotten into just taking them along for runs or workouts. These are all women I've known for awhile. Like I said, I've got 0 time to effort gaming new plates.
Perhaps it'll change I look back at my life and a couple years ago as a airline pilot I was gaming like multiple plates, I'd have dates stacked up 2 a day in alot of occasions.
So I ask the forum, ever find yourself in a spot like this? I'm not really complaining. I just woke up this am, and realized here I am. More concerned with my empire building.
KC

I'll counter with: Perhaps if you were getting enough poon AND working on your life mission at the same time - then utopia would be the result?...., because yeah, I too am working on myself bigtime and have been the last couple years, but I still want poon, still need to blow my mustard now and again with some to chick to check its all workin' - know what I mean mate. Women are boring and good for one thing....but keep filing through them and you just might land smack into a hot AND good one with a personality to match - you never know mate and I guess thats half the fun of life.

 

[Warrior74]

This year has been like that for me. I have no desire to chase after women, I find most of them boring. Also I lost my job this year and I am struggling with my business right now (which is why I'm in the office on a Saturday night). The few women I have went out with have told me point blank that I work to much. Also I've been in the midst of a massive depression for the last two months. Every day is struggle, really I can't deal with a woman right now beyond a hook up. For now, its just not worth it.

 

[backbreaker]

I think at the end of the day that's why I got married. I mean, I had a hell of a 3 year run lol from 21 to 24, it was nice to have control over something that i was controlled by, but chasing and managing women is a full time job, and I'm too ambitous in life to do that. Eventually it just got old, I got tired of the BS, going through all the date stops and ****, the entire game just got kinda stale.

I mean think about it. most of us come here becuase we can't get laid. or better stated, we can't get laid by the women we want to get laid by. So you work and you fianlly rearch a point where you are beddign women that you would jack off to years ago, and you are controlling the terms of the dates and not being cointrolled by them... that's GREAT. but once the thrill of your new "toy" wears off what are you going to do?

I mean, i was at a point in my game, where the **** was just too easy. I don't say that to be arrogant or a jackass but, i had obeliberated any fear I had of any woman whatsoever. White, asian, hispanic, HB whatever you want to grade em. I went to Del mar opening day a few months before I met my wife and got 7 numbers in one day. 7. and every last one of them were at least 7's. By the end of that year i could cound the days i slept alone on one hand. literarlly a different girl every week.

i had been on so many dates, like a good defensive corndator, i knew what was coming and I knew what to do about it to get the result I eventrually wanted. the "game" just was too easy once you know the rules and aren't afraid to play by them and get some experience.

sounds nice. and I mean, it's better than not having any options, but in all honestly my self esteem was probably lower in that time than it was when i was fat and broke waiting for my luck to turn around with my first business when I was 20. I learned something about myself in trhat time, that all the ***** in the world can't make you happy. only you can make you happy.

here i am sleeping with dimes every night, living in del mar 3 blocks from the beach, ****ing miserable as all hell.


Learning the game is kinda like learning martial arts. I took karate growing up from like the age of 7 until i was in high school and just couldn't do it anymore. was pretty serious about it. got up to a brown belt with a black stripe. when I was little and i first got into it i got in a few fights in elementry school. i thought i was the **** lol. there was this kid who was way bigger than me (my mom enrolled me in karate becuse i was extremely tiny as a child. i didn't hit 100 pounds utnil jr high) who found out quick quickly he was ****ign with the wrong one after he tired to steal my lunch money i nthe 5th grade lol. so you go around "yeah i' mbad i can do this" but as you, or at least as I started to grow and i KNEW what I could do, it's a good skill set to have... knowing I can defend myself (within reason) when need be. Also knowing (when I got jumped late last year for my car) when to not use it and just take your beating.... you don't have to always use it.

just beucase you have the abilty to game the **** out of women, doesn't mean you are destined to live a life of gaming the **** out of women for the rest of your life. It's a skill set I am happy to have. I know that i'm not going ot have an issue moving on if i get a divorce. But i came to the conclusion that my life wasn't very fufilling. i wasn't accomplishing antyhing but ****ing. that's not me. never will be me. I like sex, i like sex alot, but not more than i like achiving goals. i'm too ambious to live a live doing nothing but chasing women.

I mean, I am not trying to get all pilosphcial on you guys or anything, but at the of the day, it's just all varitions on the same thing. they all have the same body parts (i hope lol), some are nicer than others. they all act the same with some having different varations. not only that, **** maping out my "date plan" living in del mar required some military precision lol. **** it's not THAT big. there are only so manythings nyou can do. more than once i've been caught out with another plate.

with that said, like a guy who worked his ass off to get a business going and is now a millionare, even if he doesn't have to start blowing money.. he's entitled to a few things he's always wanted, just beucase he's earned it. once you get to this point, you are kinda obligated to spin the **** out of plates for a few years, just so you can get it out your system. so I am not bashing it at all. just so you can learn what your real value is to the opposite sex.
]

when i met my now wife, and we had our first date, and i got to talking to her, within 30 mintues of our date i knew she was different, and not only that, she kinda re lit the "me" spark that makes me me.

even then, i didn't go all aFC on her, i used my newly found skill set to get what i wanted.. her. and not just her. that's just halof the battle. Her.. on my terms. not a "oh i'm happy you chose me" her a "I am the man in this relationship, but this is the perfect companion for me" her. even when i Knew I had her, i made her go though all the **** test i made every other woman go through. and she did it. but i came to the conclusion i would be perfectl,y happy ****ing her for the rest of my life. probably happoier honestly than i would ****ign random women all the time.


NOw I simply take solice in things like, knowing why my wife is attracted to me and what makes our relationship tick, and how to make sure it doesnt' stop ticking. things like, being able to spot women for what they are, being able to harmlessly flirt the woman at the gym, and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that if i am by chance single i can get a few dates out of her. basically knowing i'm not powerless anymore. that at the end of the day is all it's all ab out. i could give a **** about how many nothes i have on the bed post or how many dates i've been on this week.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Warrior and BB,
You guys hit it on the head. Now that I know the game, now that my eyes are open, it just isn't the challenge it used to be. Much more challenging and REWARDING to me is moving ahead in business. Moving ahead with my life script. I see that's why I only keep a couple women around for companionship. Like you Warrior, I've had the "you work too much" card thrown at me from time to time. Another $hit test. I ignore it, or smile and say thanks!
BB you're right, to get to the top it takes discipline, military style precision. That describes exactly what it's like for me. I'm in a good place, lots of options.
Warrior, don't feel too bad, I was at work for 6 hours Thanksgiving, and 6 more friday. I'm prepping to launch a big push of training tomorrow, which means I'll be at work some today too. It's nauseating sometimes, but if there's a goal, it's worth it.
All too often I see people around me that fail to meet their career objectives because they fail at 1 of these 3 things. They fail to dream big, they fail to set a goal, or they fail to keep moving towards that goal every day.
KC

 

[zekko]

in all honestly my self esteem was probably lower in that time than it was when i was fat and broke waiting for my luck to turn around with my first business when I was 20

This is interesting because they always tell you that you have to have good self esteem to get women. They tell you that you have to like yourself before others like you, and that women can smell it on you if you don't have real confidence. There's a good point to that, but like most things pickup, it ain't necessarily so.

You were sleeping with a new woman every week, and yet suffered from low self esteem! I remember when I was in my twenties, spinning plates. I never had real confidence with women, but I always knew enough that I had to fake it. Apparently I faked it pretty well, because I got women.

It's better to have real self esteem and confidence, but if you don't, you CAN fake your way through. At least until the real thing catches up with you.

 

[st_99]

This is interesting because they always tell you that you have to have good self esteem to get women. .

yeah, i always thought that was a load of horse pooh. I look at pulling women as a seperate skill set that you can have and be good at, yet still be a total mess on the inside.

I look at getting girls as a very specific set of skills of seduction that when applied correctly is pretty much all that matters, not your mommy or daddy issues, or your sh*t job, or your thinning hair or whatever the hell else.

I've had girls get me infatuated with them when at first impression I thought they were just blah, absolutely no interest and
actually thought there were lame and kind of screwy. Yet they just knew how to flip my switches (and i dont think it was
an accident), same thing can be applied to women.

 

[Desdinova]

The only time I've ever wanted a break from chasing women is when I've just eliminated one who was a major pain in the ass. It's a relief when you finally shake off a little time-sucking maggot that's driving you nuts.

 

[backbreaker]

This is interesting because they always tell you that you have to have good self esteem to get women. They tell you that you have to like yourself before others like you, and that women can smell it on you if you don't have real confidence. There's a good point to that, but like most things pickup, it ain't necessarily so.

You were sleeping with a new woman every week, and yet suffered from low self esteem! I remember when I was in my twenties, spinning plates. I never had real confidence with women, but I always knew enough that I had to fake it. Apparently I faked it pretty well, because I got women.

It's better to have real self esteem and confidence, but if you don't, you CAN fake your way through. At least until the real thing catches up with you.

maybe low self esteem wasn't the best choice of words. I didn't think I was a loser or anything. I was in shape, had things going for me, i was 3 years off my drug rehab around that time... how can i put this... i thought i was a guy women should l ike, but i didn't necessarlyt like the way my life was going

let me use this analogy. let's go back, 110,000 years, around the time current homo speians (human beings) started to make their way onto the scene.

The biggest difference between Neanderthals and homo sapiens, as they are over a 99% genetic match, is not the way they look or the way they walk or anything like that, it was simply brainpower.

fast forward 60 thousand years later, to about 40,000 BC, and homo sepeians make their way to europe. Neathanthals, while living a harsh life somewhat, were definatly the apex preadtor of the time. they ekked o8ut a living. chasing food. they literarlly lived their lives, chasing food. no different than any other animinal. In the cold harsh winters, their live came to a virtual standstill.

Homo Sapiens had 1. figured out how to hunt more efficiently, using better weapons which meant less time out hunting. Not only that, they figured out how to fish, something that Neanderthals couldn't do. Because they did n ot spend all their time and resources on food, and usually had an abundance of food, they could spend time on other things. recreation. eventually, figuring out how to GROW food. Written language. Religion. All these things, stem from simply not having to spend every last resource you have, chasing food.

What does that have to do with Being a DJ? Think about it. All the dudes you see lined up on the wall at a club on a friday night, are neathanthals. no difference. they are consumed with chasing pray, getting a woman. It's not so much that they don't "get life", as thismuch as they are consumed by this becuase they don't understand it the way we do. It's a good day if they get a number, it's a bad hunt if they go home without a woman. Because they have no control over women or the relationship part of their l ives, they spend more time trying to get what they want. If that makes any sense.

The way I see it, being a DJ has nothingg to do with constantlly dating 10 women at once. I mean, if that is what you want to do, do your thing. I'm not saying it's bad, that's just now how I see it. I see it as the equivelant of Homo Seicenans figuring out the "food game". NOw that I know how to do this, i don't have to spend if so much time doing it. now i can talk to women everywhere i go, not just the "club" or through "friends". i can go to the mall right now if i so chose wand come home with 4-5 phone numbers if i stayed there long enough, no doubt in my mind, which is a stark contrast from 10 years ago when I would go out and "hope" for one.

now that I don't have to spend every last resource on sex, i can still get sex, and plenty of it, probably more than the AFC will, while being able to focus on other things.

 

[backbreaker]

yeah, i always thought that was a load of horse pooh. I look at pulling women as a seperate skill set that you can have and be good at, yet still be a total mess on the inside.

I look at getting girls as a very specific set of skills of seduction that when applied correctly is pretty much all that matters, not your mommy or daddy issues, or your sh*t job, or your thinning hair or whatever the hell else.

I've had girls get me infatuated with them when at first impression I thought they were just blah, absolutely no interest and
actually thought there were lame and kind of screwy. Yet they just knew how to flip my switches (and i dont think it was
an accident), same thing can be applied to women.

yes and no.

i could pull girls even when I didn't like the direction in my life.

But when you have your **** together and you like yourself, it's like girls go out of their way to find YOU.

I love myself to death right now. to this day I probably get flirted with hit on at least 2 times a week by pretty attractive women.

Also, you are using the whoe thing out of context. I would have never been able to keep my now wife, had I stayed in the same do nothing mode i was in before i met her. so yes i could have "got her" but i would not have been able to "keep her".

you will never be able to KEEP a good catch without high self esteem, not liking you, and what you are doing in life. it's just not possible.

 

[st_99]

so yes i could have "got her" but i would not have been able to "keep her".

yeah, i should have mentioned that. i agree that long term you're going to need something more than your seduction skills because all that stuff is temporary and will wear off. so i would agree with what you said.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

OP -- I hear you man. I stayed in last night to work on my biz's website rather than go out and try and game this chick who told me she'd be at a local party -- she didn't give me her # first round, why waste my time, rather spend my time investing in myself...let them chase me.

here i am sleeping with dimes every night, living in del mar 3 blocks from the beach, ****ing miserable as all hell.

Backbreaker -- your post spoke to my soul man -- +rep -- honestly have to say so because I'm not saying I've had the run that you have had -- no, at present I am still quite pissed about some sh!t -- but a year or so ago, maybe one year after finding this forum, my phone was blowing up most of the day from different chicks, I was not banging them all, maybe I wanted to but couldn't yet! hah! But man I hear you on the gratification part.

It's interesting how sometimes the things we want, or comfort itself, actually creates pain. For example: when I sit on my ass amidst a lofty bed, eat good food, lounge around -- all in the avoidance of 'unpleasantries' I honestly feel like sh!t after awhile. Maybe same is true with any sort of pleasure -- if I mow down a cake I'm sure the first few bites are great and wonderful, but after enough sugar my body wants to fvcking puke...

I know from my own life of traveling or mobile-living that sometimes I was in some of the most beautiful places -- mountain vistas, or in isolation up some backroad nothing but coffee and a bit of ganja and some good books, hah, and you know what, sometimes I was very sad because truly internally I was still aimless -- uncertain what I really wanted out of life.

I know that I would prefer to be with a woman who really lights my fire everytime I see her, shoots that spark off within, and a woman who is genuinely trustworthy -- rather than banging random chicks who I can't trust as far as I can throw em, or who are off with other dudes that very same night or next day. It's not that their bodies don't call me in, but it's that sort of long-term vision saying, ok, this is bullsh!t, or this just isn't worth it to me I've got sh!t that's more important.

Maybe I need to get through that cusp of just reaping in women before I can break through the barrier to finding a healthy LTR. I need to push through that boundary and break it apart to really understand the whole thing...to take away the sort of bullsh!t enigma that can surround women...I've got work to do.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

This is interesting because they always tell you that you have to have good self esteem to get women. They tell you that you have to like yourself before others like you, and that women can smell it on you if you don't have real confidence. There's a good point to that, but like most things pickup, it ain't necessarily so.

You were sleeping with a new woman every week, and yet suffered from low self esteem! I remember when I was in my twenties, spinning plates. I never had real confidence with women, but I always knew enough that I had to fake it. Apparently I faked it pretty well, because I got women.

It's better to have real self esteem and confidence, but if you don't, you CAN fake your way through. At least until the real thing catches up with you.

Sometimes man sleeping around excessively, wantonly is the DEFINITIVE denotation of low-self-esteem. A lack of respect for one's own self.

We have to see our extreme value, make that a genuine value, and know that we DESERVE a quality woman/women. Banging any chick who give us the time of day might more so show how desperate we really are? A man who is truly confident and happy with his choice entree at home can turn down the junk food along the way, eh?

 

[zekko]

yeah, i should have mentioned that. i agree that long term you're going to need something more than your seduction skills because all that stuff is temporary and will wear off. so i would agree with what you said.

I agree also. Keeping a quality woman is another whole level above simply banging one.

We have to see our extreme value, make that a genuine value, and know that we DESERVE a quality woman/women. Banging any chick who give us the time of day might more so show how desperate we really are?

Aside from seeing your own value (which is good), there is also self respect. I don't care how much I desire a woman, there are certain things I will not put up with from her.

I was never at a point where I would bang ANY chick. She had to be at least a 6. I'm not sure I could even get it up for a 5.