Just be yourself
Yes I know. Before you say it. It’s on the frontpage of the site. Bad advice.
Right?
I was burned by a girl, a girl that messed with my head, and had my emotions take over me. We’ve all had one. For many of us it was the reason we came to this website. It was my reason. I came here, what, 3 years ago looking for answers. Since then I became involved in getting good with women. I read the updates. Posted in the forum. Looked in to books. Watched the movies.
For months last year I became taken over by it.
And yet I still failed.
I’d been failing with women for all of my life up until that point. Never had a girlfriend, kept getting female friends. Get the number, never get the date. Paralytic in bars and clubs. Sosuave, Doc Love, David D, Robert Greene. I thought they had the answers. I used to read and read. Now I’m at the point where I’ve read all of the updates. There’s no new information for me, just more of the same.
So I did all of that, and up until late last year I still didn’t get anywhere. I had some success. I kept getting “options”, but nothing happened.
So this year, after some conversations with people close to me I just thought, **** it. After years of self-improvement, approaching women and trying to progress in skills and experience, I just left it. I said I’d not do anything from now on. No website, no books. No remembering lines of the net, or asking DJs what to do. I’d just be me.
And it worked.
This year. It’s only been a short one so far – barely a month. And yet so much has changed. I go out, to parties and bars, and get dates. What do I do? I be myself. There some universal laws that I’ve learned that I’ll never dismiss. When you read something and then see the exact same thing happen in the lives of yourself and your friends, you tend to believe it. What are the laws? Never tell a girl you like her. Never put women on pedestals. Don’t be afraid to argue. Don’t become their emotional tampon. Don’t supplicate. Don’t use chat-up lines. Be a man. Make bold moves. Always take action.
You know the rest.
So how do I explain this. I’ve read that “don’t just be yourself” article on the frontpage about 10 times, over the last couple of years, and yet now, I’m being myself and having the most success with women I’ve had in my life. It doesn’t make sense? Women don’t make sense. I had actually replaced “just be yourself” with “be the best you can be”. That was what I told myself when in doubt.
I do have an idea why being myself is working.
I’m convinced that the only reason “just be yourself” worked, is because I’m now the person that the advice works on. If you’re bad with women. If you can’t hold a conversation. If you don’t maintain a good appearance. If you don’t make a good impression. The advice, then, is potentially the worst anyone can give you. But if you’re old enough, wise enough or had enough experience – maybe conquered fears along the way, and learned things by yourself, then the advice does work. If you’re good with women, then being yourself, is just being good with women.
Not being yourself, can also make you fail even more. I had a date last year where I personified ****y and funny. I read half of David D’s book before we went out. She didn’t want to go out on a second date. I must have come off as false and insecure. That’s how I felt I acted.
So now, if I go out with a girl, I’m confident, talkative and outgoing – make jokes, give them compliments, take the lead and abide by the unwritten laws and do fine. Better than fine.
And to improve, well, I just keep going out – and being myself. I used to have a target I’d try to reach (and be pissed off if I didn’t hit it). Now I just do the best I can. If it’s not a good night, it doesn’t matter. I’m out there to have fun. If it is a good night, then great.
I used to stress so much about women, worry all the time, and think things over in my head. I used to plan what I was going to say on dates, even though I never ended up saying it. I used to imagine this happening, and that happening. Read this, and read that. And, I just kept getting rejected. I had almost given up on the whole concept, until I stopped doing all that and finally had some success.
And how? I sat back, relaxed, and was myself.
I can hardly believe it myself.
Yes I know. Before you say it. It’s on the frontpage of the site. Bad advice.
Right?
I was burned by a girl, a girl that messed with my head, and had my emotions take over me. We’ve all had one. For many of us it was the reason we came to this website. It was my reason. I came here, what, 3 years ago looking for answers. Since then I became involved in getting good with women. I read the updates. Posted in the forum. Looked in to books. Watched the movies.
For months last year I became taken over by it.
And yet I still failed.
I’d been failing with women for all of my life up until that point. Never had a girlfriend, kept getting female friends. Get the number, never get the date. Paralytic in bars and clubs. Sosuave, Doc Love, David D, Robert Greene. I thought they had the answers. I used to read and read. Now I’m at the point where I’ve read all of the updates. There’s no new information for me, just more of the same.
So I did all of that, and up until late last year I still didn’t get anywhere. I had some success. I kept getting “options”, but nothing happened.
So this year, after some conversations with people close to me I just thought, **** it. After years of self-improvement, approaching women and trying to progress in skills and experience, I just left it. I said I’d not do anything from now on. No website, no books. No remembering lines of the net, or asking DJs what to do. I’d just be me.
And it worked.
This year. It’s only been a short one so far – barely a month. And yet so much has changed. I go out, to parties and bars, and get dates. What do I do? I be myself. There some universal laws that I’ve learned that I’ll never dismiss. When you read something and then see the exact same thing happen in the lives of yourself and your friends, you tend to believe it. What are the laws? Never tell a girl you like her. Never put women on pedestals. Don’t be afraid to argue. Don’t become their emotional tampon. Don’t supplicate. Don’t use chat-up lines. Be a man. Make bold moves. Always take action.
You know the rest.
So how do I explain this. I’ve read that “don’t just be yourself” article on the frontpage about 10 times, over the last couple of years, and yet now, I’m being myself and having the most success with women I’ve had in my life. It doesn’t make sense? Women don’t make sense. I had actually replaced “just be yourself” with “be the best you can be”. That was what I told myself when in doubt.
I do have an idea why being myself is working.
I’m convinced that the only reason “just be yourself” worked, is because I’m now the person that the advice works on. If you’re bad with women. If you can’t hold a conversation. If you don’t maintain a good appearance. If you don’t make a good impression. The advice, then, is potentially the worst anyone can give you. But if you’re old enough, wise enough or had enough experience – maybe conquered fears along the way, and learned things by yourself, then the advice does work. If you’re good with women, then being yourself, is just being good with women.
Not being yourself, can also make you fail even more. I had a date last year where I personified ****y and funny. I read half of David D’s book before we went out. She didn’t want to go out on a second date. I must have come off as false and insecure. That’s how I felt I acted.
So now, if I go out with a girl, I’m confident, talkative and outgoing – make jokes, give them compliments, take the lead and abide by the unwritten laws and do fine. Better than fine.
And to improve, well, I just keep going out – and being myself. I used to have a target I’d try to reach (and be pissed off if I didn’t hit it). Now I just do the best I can. If it’s not a good night, it doesn’t matter. I’m out there to have fun. If it is a good night, then great.
I used to stress so much about women, worry all the time, and think things over in my head. I used to plan what I was going to say on dates, even though I never ended up saying it. I used to imagine this happening, and that happening. Read this, and read that. And, I just kept getting rejected. I had almost given up on the whole concept, until I stopped doing all that and finally had some success.
And how? I sat back, relaxed, and was myself.
I can hardly believe it myself.