just ask.. it really is that easy.. although every silver lining has a cloud...

[MrNiceGuy]

wow, managed a succcesful nember close last night,

and unless I've forgotten something I think it actually is the first time I've got a number off someone who I've only met the same evening, so that makes it the first proper # close I've done... something of a mini milestone

basically I was sat in a bar with one of my mates we'd been drinking for a few hours and had pretty much run out of conversation with each other, then this chick that had been standing next to our table introduced herself, I asked her to take a seat on the stool next to me we got chatting, it turned out she lived a couple streets away from me, but she was new to the area and wanted tips on where to go later and stuff. anyway we were getting on well, and while we were talking I just thought to myself "you gotta get this girls number, no f*cking excuses this time, just do it" but during the conversation I discovered she was leaving london to go travelling for a few months in 2 weeks time, but I still, thought to myself "no excuses remember! Get her number!!!" So when she got up....


her: "I'd better get back to my friends, we'll be leaving soon"
me: "Hey, wait a minute. What's your number?"
her: "But I'll be leaving in 2 weeks, what do you want my number for?"
me: "Well, thats plenty of time for us to go for a drink or something together"
her: "You really want to take me out for a drink??"
me: "Why not? There's f*ck all on TV in the evenings nowadays anyway." (I hand her my phone to put her num in) "Put your number in there"
her: "Yeah I don't do much in the evenings, except go to the gym now and then"
This starts a short conversation about the gyms we go to, then we swap numbers, she checks I spell her name right when I type it into the phone book, and after I've given her my number she asks me what group I'd like to be under, I say I'll leave it to her discretion, and she says she's putting me under "friends".. Then we give each other a peck on the cheek and she says it was nice meeting me and maybe she'll see me before she leaves, I reply "maybe you will"

So that was that, to be fair she didn't seem overly keen, and seeing as she was leaving I'm not sure if she'll be up for going out at all, but I may as well give it a try.. Haven't called her yet, will probably try on tuesday to ask her out for wed or thu, not sure whether to try an SMS first or just go straight for the phone call.. probably just a phone call, I prefer it..

Still thats not the main thing, the main thing is I'm learning that asking for numbers isn't that hard or embarrassing or anything, so hopefully I should get some more soon..

 

[VIVAlasVEGASBaby]

Still thats not the main thing, the main thing is I'm learning that asking for numbers isn't that hard or embarrassing or anything, so hopefully I should get some more soon..

Good for you man, Cheers

 

[Porky]

Number closing is the biggest milestone for so many guys, but it's so easy to do.

 

[fezz]

I must say that I still havent done a succesful number close in one night. I usually go on a weekend trip and get the girl's number at the end of the weekend. Or if I'm at school, I usually talk to a girl for a couple days before I go for the number and date (I got a date saturday, hehehee) But ya, congrats man. I haven't done the number close the first time I meet a girl yet, and Im gonna post when I do it. It's spring break, so I should have some good chances.

 

[GaryNas]

Nice job MrNiceGuy. Here's to many more # closes for you!

 

[WestCoaster]

Loved this exchange!

Great line here:

her: "You really want to take me out for a drink??"
me: "Why not? There's f*ck all on TV in the evenings nowadays anyway."

Anytime someone can get a shot in at TV, I'm all for it. Cutting my cable after the Final Four (back up for college football season only).

Good job Nice Guy!

 

[DankNuggs]

Good work buddy, it can be hard to pull the trigger when you build it up so much in your mind...

 

[MrNiceGuy]

Re: Loved this exchange!

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Great line here:

her: "You really want to take me out for a drink??"
me: "Why not? There's f*ck all on TV in the evenings nowadays anyway."

Cheers guys,

I dunno what happened really, after I asked her what her number was it just felt like I went on autopilot after that, somehow I kept my cool and dealt with the hurdles without even thinking about it. I guess the fact that I saw pleasant surprise in her face, and not unpleasant surprise probably helped me out, success breeds confidence I guess..

It seemed perfectly natural to say "maybe you will" rather than the "I'll give you a call and we'll meet up next week, yeah??" that I'd have uttered this time last year

 

[MrNiceGuy]

ok, brief update..

gave her a call last night, and arranged to meet her for a drink tommorow night,

although she didn't sound particularly keen on the phone.. its probably just me being paranoid but the way she sounded it sounded like she wanted to get off the phone as quickly as possible, even so she still agreed to meet me,so its probably fine, the other interesting thing is that she didn't know where the bar was that I suggested, so I said I'd text her some directions tommorow,

so today I did text her, making sure to put at the bottom 'I'll see you there at 8' and she texted back a couple of hours saying 'thanks for the directions see you tommorow'

the only thing I'm worrired about is that I've shot myself in the foot with the time/nature of the date...
the bar won't shut till 11.. so that means potentially theres 3 hours of talking/drinking to be done, I'm not sure I can talk to someone who I've only met once while drunk and talked to for 15 minutes for a whole 3 hours.. of course it could be that we get on like a house on fire, but if we don't or she's not the most conversant of people I could do with some way of leaving that isn't too embarrasing for either of us.. ah sod it, I've got plenty to talk about, I'm sure she has too, and at the end of the day I don't need to worry too much about f*cking it up seeing as she's leaving the country soon anyway

 

[Skel]

all you gotta do is ask her questions about herself. SO EZ!!!

Just an example

YOU:"so your moving in 2 weeks..arent you gonna miss this place?"

HER""ya, bla bla bla (MY friend Jessica) bla bla (my dad)
bla..........talking............(my dog)

she will leave little hints im sure about what she is open to talking about, just listen a bit. Now you just pick one of the subjects.

YOU:"Ya, that must hard for you friend Jessica, how do you think she is taking it?"

Her" bla bla bla bla blaa(more hints) bla bla balal

Oh btw you shouldnt have let her put your name in the phone under friends. I mean, she came out and asked you what you wanted to be put under and yet you still let her decide. Did you really think shes gonna put you under "boy toy"? You should have showed more balls than that. Now every time she sees your numer, its under the friend category. Your name associated with Friend, get my drift?

 

[ToP DoN]

good job

hope u get laid...

 

[MrNiceGuy]

lesson, trust your instincts.. from the way she sounded on the phone I had a feeling this was going to happen

I got a text message this afternoon,

"Hi, im sorry 2 do this but have 2 cancel. somethings ccome up, im so busy getting organised b4 i leave uk. cheers jackii"

the vagueness and over apologeticness bears all the hallmarks of someone who just can't think of a decent excuse not to come out other than "I can't be bothered"
so I sent her back "no worries, enojy yourself and have a good trip, take care, tom"
I almost put in "give me a call if you fancy meeting up b4 you leave" but theres no point, better to take the hint rather than make her think I'm bothered. NEXT.

Would she have met up with me if she hadn't been leaving the country? maybe, I don't know, its kind of irrelevant,

the point is, I think, that my instincts are better than I give them credit for, the trouble is I only listen to them when they are saying something negative.. the amount of time I've seen a girl looking at me and I've felt my instincts say go over and talk to her, I've ignored them, even if it happens multiple times, so from now on, I'll pay attention to good instincts and pay the negative ones less attention..
Other fact is, I got rejected essentially, and I don't really care.. I barely knew this girl so I'm not bothered, therefore nothing to lose by trying again with someone else...

bring on the weekend!!

 

[MrNiceGuy]

ahh, some other thoughts, I was having..

What is the point of using all this psychology to try and convince a girl to do something she may not want to do..

you know, using requests rather than questions, eg. ('let me' rather than 'can I') essentially structuring conversations and date requests so that its hard to say no.. because ultimately if she doesn't want too, she'll cancel/say no eventually its just a question of when

I guess that way of doing things portrays more strength and confidence which is attractive, which is the advantage, ie. the reason is to raise IL rather than get a yes even though she's thinking no if you see what I mean..