Just a note

[Stu951]

Hi DJ's, I have a strange yet very particular problem.

I've read and lived by the certain ebooks, and the system as well. It's been very successfull with women hands down it works tremendously well if you take the advice and apply it.

I've been seeing this girl for months already, had pretty positive results. I followed rules very closely with her and it's be nothing but fun probably one of the better girls out of my last few relationships. However certain things started to arrive that made her look not so perfect anymore, her family life (relationship with her family is beyond emotionally f'ed up). Alot of problems happened with her and I was there to help her through. She thanked me dearly and again brought us closer. Over the last couple of days, really the last two weeks I swear I saw an interest drop because she was sick. After getting to know her very well, and talking to her brother it seems she's some what of a sketchbag. The moral is, askmen posted an article saying women to stay away from or something of that nature. It stated women with incapable and bad families will be a problem, it was true and I've experienced it. Of course this isn't true in some cases but the majority I would say it is.

I'm a very positive guy, I've been through many relationships in and out over and over. I'm not jealous or in anyway obsessive over relationships... It's just difficult to see where she is coming from.

Just my 2 cents

 

[Nightspark]

#1 No one is perfect -- Really no one is, and it's this ... OMGWTFBBQ SHE'S PERFECT mentality that fcuks ppl up and hence they are the AFC

#2 The DJ Bible or these E-Books ARE NOT RULES so to speak... more of a guideline!



Yeah i tend to avoid the girls with strange home relationships with their parents or their siblings... i dont want their problems thrown on me or her negativity thrown on me

 

[oda]

Some of the best people in the world are that way because their parents taught them exactly what not to be, if you catch my drift

 

[DeathDealer]

As I try not to judge people who come from awkward family settings.. this is true.

I used to have a male friend who had divorced parents who had to live with his old grandparents. The result? Well he didn't have a father figure so he became a wuss, and he didn't have much of a mother figure so he had an uncaring side to that. Plus having old people as parents can distort your life as old people usually reject the new things so you have to form your own judgement on what's proper. I myself didn't have much of a father figure but had older dude friends or even teachers/counselors to offer the "father figure" to me. Because of the lack of having a father figure the obvious results came in... I was Mr. Nice guy, it took a couple years to change myself from that seeking male role model influences. If you're wondering about those macho gangbangers? Their role models obviously weren't their 60hr working fathers but older gangbangers who taught them how to grow up.. in an anti-social way.

I dated a woman that had to take care of her disabled father - so she never got a real father figure which distorted her into becoming an attention seeking h0 and she tended to feel more comfortable with wimpy guys than with more assertive guy (a real man) - this made her feel all jealous and such of me as I improved myself from AFC to closer to a real man.

End of this story is.. date/be friends with people who grew up in similar situations or at least close to it.

 

[oda]

Death Dealer post that as a stand alone topic It really makes sense.

 

[Stu951]

Yea exactly death dealer, I agree.

I'm not knocking her as no one is near perfect at all. But her being very childish and an ass all the time gets really annoying after awhile. Espically with her parents split up and both dating other people, she resembles her mom I'd say always screwing being sketchy and untrust worthy, really this relationship is going to end swiftly and quickly.... Just have to wait for the right moment for me to end it.

 

[Donald Kaufman]

People do not deserve credit or blame for their backgrounds. It is when they stop living by what they learned, good or bad, and take responsibility and make their life better that they become worth effort or not. People who had happy homes can be just as screwed up. They often will have no ability to empathize with others situations and it makes them disgusting people.

What you do about your past is a greater predictor then what your past is. It just takes longer to understand people this way because some people can put together a pretty good show for a while.

 

[Kaine]

It's great you are choosing to go on. If you are a 'nice guy' it's very easy to fall into the knight in shining armour role.

Don't do this.

No girl is your psychology project. You are better off spending your valuable time persuing a great moments with a more stable girl then spending your days dragging a dying horse through the mud.

I've seen this happen with men with really attractive broken women, just because they are beautiful. Some of these are AWs who they want to tap. It's not worth it.

If there is a lot of drama in her life and you are just getting together, leave her alone. You don't want to be around when she/friend/family is sick/dying/dead etc If you already have a LTR relationship with the girl and it is serious then involve yourself if she needs you.

Otherwise you are not her paid psychiatrist and she will begin to associate you with the negativity.

Kaine

 

[Stu951]

Thanks Kaine, yea I think its time to move on too. My job is stressfull enough, I don't like being associated with all her problems all the time. Plus I'm getting the vibe of infidelity from her more and more.

Funny thing I used the C/F to death and was almost pushing it on edge, she stuck to me like glue and still does. I'm going to feel bad about doing this....