"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Judging interest and negative feelings

C

crimsonclockwork

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2003
Messages
81
Reaction score
0
Alright. So this shy girl I been takling to lately I gues has shown interest in me... Such as waiting for me after class in the halls, wanting to do stuff with me, lets me kino her ect ect. We're doing something tonight just the two of us, and then tomorrow with a group of friends. Err... Is she interested in me? I guess she is, but this happens to me alot where I look on the negative side of everything and think she doesnt (as well as alot of other girls).

First off. Is she interested? Go for some tonight?

And... How to get a more positive attitude about girls. I almost covince myself that the girl I am going after thinks Im annoying/ect. ect. I know Im not, but still it blows. Thanks.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

S

Serg897

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 19, 2001
Messages
1,194
Reaction score
20
Age
39
Location
North America
I think I can relate, somewhat.

Like you, sometimes I would look on the negative side of things. Even the slightest sign of disinterest, or uncertainty, would occupy my mind all day and get me in an iffy mood.

Dont do that to yourself. We must all understand that girls are weird, and just becuase she seemed to be tired that day around you or something doesnt mean she is losing interest.

It seems like you've got this girl close. Go for it. You have nothing to lose.
 
J

JSH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
1,088
Reaction score
0
Age
39
Location
London
To use the title of another thread, just approach (even though its utta context) go for it, you can do whatever you want.

Do not over analyse, i used to do that, then you miss opportunities and kick yourself even more. I flirted with the hottest gal in school, high IL and everything but i talked myself outta asking her out. Eventually when i did, like a month later, she was not so interested and had found another guy (buut said if id asked her earlier she woulda).
 
M

Microphone Fiend

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 30, 2003
Messages
2,300
Reaction score
17
Location
Where I be at
You know what you need to do, you've been on the boards for a while crimson, I know you don't need advice in this situations. We can't tell you whether you should approach or not, cuz we don't know the situation as well as you do. I'd say it sounds like she's digging you, if she aint, will it be that hard to find another good looking chick to go after? It isn't really a risk, just have a good time and let things lead where they may.
 
S

Supero Masculus

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2004
Messages
131
Reaction score
0
Location
In reality
Go for it man!! You will regret it if you don't.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

T

The Antichrist_Star

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2002
Messages
1,066
Reaction score
3
Age
41
This is something that I preach all of the time (although you guys may not have noticed)... never assume that a woman is nothing but interested in you. I would much rather error on that side than to error on the negative side. With that in mind... of course she is interested in you. And always remember that she is interested in you, unless she gives you concrete evidence (which... contrary to popular belief and opinion, women do) that shows otherwise. The problem is a lot of the times, we miss out on way more oppurtunities than we think (women are really "approaching" (their way) a lot more than we think they do) because we place too much stock in it. Keep in mind where you want to go with this woman... and then take the necessary steps to get it there. If you do that... things will not go wrong for you.

Happy Hunting...

The Rules... Have Changed
 
B

blienk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 4, 2003
Messages
543
Reaction score
0
Your problem is, you're thinking like this:

Is she interested ------> Make a move

Start thinking like this:

Make a move ------> Find out if she's interested
 
C

crimsonclockwork

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2003
Messages
81
Reaction score
0
Tonight was a revealing night. She is deffinatly interested in me, but heres the kicker:

Alot of kino tonight, but rejection on the kiss.

This made me think, and I ended up talking to one of my girl-friends about it tonight. My friend gets around with a lot of guys, but this is what she said: It isn't classy or fashionable to kiss on the first date-even if it went well. This shocked me.

Anyway, I got rid of the awkwardness from it (obviously she was afraid). This rejection gave me two important lessons though:

Don't be afraid to take chances

and this also now laid down the ground to the whole I like you, and Im not a ***** about it, even if she did reject me. We are doing something tomorrow with some friends, so it will no doubt be interesting.
 
S

Supero Masculus

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2004
Messages
131
Reaction score
0
Location
In reality
Good job man, just play it smooth and keep your head on straight and you can't screw up.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

L

LikRetsam

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 30, 2003
Messages
1,633
Reaction score
1
Now that you made a move and she shot you down, if she's interrested it's up to her to make the next. Period.
 
L

Luscious

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 8, 2002
Messages
840
Reaction score
3
Originally posted by crimsonclockwork
Alright. So this shy girl I been takling to lately I gues has shown interest in me... Such as waiting for me after class in the halls, wanting to do stuff with me, lets me kino her ect ect. We're doing something tonight just the two of us, and then tomorrow with a group of friends. Err... Is she interested in me? I guess she is, but this happens to me alot where I look on the negative side of everything and think she doesnt (as well as alot of other girls).

First off. Is she interested? Go for some tonight?

And... How to get a more positive attitude about girls. I almost covince myself that the girl I am going after thinks Im annoying/ect. ect. I know Im not, but still it blows. Thanks.
Click to expand...
Yes, she's interested. I think girls should probably carry a stamp with them that says "I'm interested in you", and stamp it on the forehead of guys, so you guys can see what's going on.

From your followup, obviously she was interested.

Let me tell you something: no matter how ugly, how repulsive, how smelly, how horribly disfigured you think you are - A GIRL IS INTERESTED IN YOU. It's a matter of self-esteem: ignore that voice that says you're ugly and you can't score, because YOU CAN.

Look at all the stuff women go through: they constantly think they're fat, all the fashion crap, jewelery, etc. etc...YET YOU'RE STILL INTERESTED IN THEM. No matter HOW BAD they think they look, YOU, the opposite sex, still is interested! So why can't it work the other way???
 
J

JSH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
1,088
Reaction score
0
Age
39
Location
London
Im confused, its a matterof ettiquette never to kiss on a first date, wtf, what kinda crazy rules. Continue attempting to flout this restrictive ettiquette.
 
C

crimsonclockwork

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2003
Messages
81
Reaction score
0
Thats bull**** she was interested in me. Went out friday... Went for it, and got rejected. She wanted to do something the night after. Ok... Had alot of fun, let off on the kino a little bit. Next time we talked it went something like this:
me-hey
her-hey
me-whats goin on
her-i dont like you that way
:confused:

Its all good though. I got a number on our outting Saturday so I guess alls not lost. :eek:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top