Juan Don's journey

[Juan Don]

A little background about me. It's been almost two months since my ex girlfriend and i broke up. and we dated for 2 years. i'm still trying to get over it until now. she was very attractive and her personality was amazing. I was a one man one woman type of guy. avoided other women not even saying hello and ignoring them even if they looked at me. but, i realized somewhere close to the end of the relationship i felt like i was no longer a challenge for her and we would get into arguments over small things. at the beginning she was the one who chased me. i showed that i was interested in her and i knew her IL was just as high. i wouldn't call her for days or return her texts. initiated contact on my terms. but whenever we spent time together it was always quality and sometimes for hours. i didn't tell her how much i liked her as she did with me at the beginning. even though she called me names because of what i did, it made her want me even more. i didn't know about alpha behavior and AFC behavior before and while i was in the relationship. somewhere down the road i became AFC and my role started to change. i admit i fell for her and when i did i expressed it to her. i became too available and now i see my happiness depended on her.

And that my friends is what led me here. I want to change my mentality of women and become more sociable and less shy. i know i am capable of attracting but my shyness and approach anxiety gets the best of me.

Since i have been on this forum, I have been able to say hello to women and smile at them. they look at me and smile back. however, i am still working on my approach anxiety and openers.

last night i got into my car and was texting a friend. as soon as i look up i see this hb10 make eye contact with me and she smiled as she walked into the store. her friend was parked beside me she was married having her left hand on the steering wheel. i glanced over and she smiled at me too. i don't know where my mind was at. hb10 was wearing tight workout shorts as she was standing at the counter. i wanted to approach so badly but, i was in my pajamas with a shirt under jacket with stains on it from working on my car. lol lesson learned dress up a little every time i step out the house. it will help me become more confident in approaching.

any good books or videos for approach anxiety and openers? do those pua openers work?

 

[macallik]

Good stuff. I like what I read so far. No book/video recommendations from me. Sounds like you got everything you need at your disposal. You were going to approach but had on pajama pants. One day you will have no excuses and approach. Just keep leaving the house and being social and constantly trying to improve and you will be well on your way to becoming a challenge.

 

[Juan Don]

i decided to go to the nightclub tonight around 10:30pm before the crowd came. sat closest to the lady bartender. built rapport with her and flirted with her a little. saw the ring on her finger so i didn't push anything. we had a nice long conversation until people started to come. damn i felt like a loner when the crowd started coming in as groups. i was at the bar for a few rounds of beer to loosen up a little. i haven't been out in a long ass time. i didn't expect much tonight i was just trying to have fun and socialize. no intention of getting a number. i guess i'm more of a day game person. i feel nightclub you need to know people and/or be a regular. was college crowd type atmosphere. but, i tried. seemed like most of the girls had their guys with them. sh!t 3 fights almost broke out tonight with guys over some girls. lol

approached hb 7 she kept walking past me and we smile at each other. we talk a little bit introducing ourselves and commenting on the music being played. i started to dance and said damn this is some baby making music right here. she kind of backed off while smiling. i held her arm and said don't leave i'm not finished with you yet. she smiled. i got closer to her and whispered in her ear you wanna kiss me? she smiled and said no i can't. i said why? your breath smells bad? she laughed and said i can't i have a boyfriend and i'm loyal. whether it was true or not i wasn't trying to force it lol i told her i respected that and i moved on. she tried to ignore me the rest of the night but whenever i was looking her way i would see her look at me then look somewhere else.

not wasting time i approached a 4 set birthday group. 3 girls 1 guy. i put my arms around them and said happy birthday loud. birthday girl had a tiara. i kept messing around with the bday girl (hb 8) by telling her she should drink more and have fun since it's her bday. she smiled and laughed so did her older sister(hb 8)and commenting how she would be ok to drive(sarcastically of course) while her head laid on the table. she was about to give her friend a hug and i said playfully wrong person and she gave me a real big hug. they all laughed. we introduce ourselves with each other. no phone number exchanges

i kept looking at other girls but, they wouldn't look back or smile. if they did i would have approached. it's crazy. during the day i could talk with girls have them say hello smile and look into each other's eyes. night game is totally different. it feels like high school where you have to be a popular kid for the girls to take notice. during the day it feels like you can be yourself and start at an even playing field. just my observations.

i plan to go out tomorrow and saturday with intent this time of number closing. this time i will try a bar. maybe i will just stick to days since i think i'm better at that and could polish that up.

constructive criticism much appreciated as always.