Journal of Self Destruction

[LastStand]

Ok, I need a big change after I've been accused of stalking a girl. I've lost everything now so my goal for this journal is to find my ultimate love in the next few months. I have no fear of death anymore. I've quit my job and have some money saved up this is going to happen one way or another.

Background about me:

-25, was virgin until 2 years ago, had sex 3 times since then. Girl I was "stalking" is soul mate material, but she can't see it so I'll just turn her into a plate for now and focus on improving MY GAME. I live in beijing, so there are a lot of Asian girls, but also plenty of international girls.


Skills:
I'm a good actor so I can use that to my advantage, I know how to fight, I'd say I'm a 9 in looks.

Goal: Find ultimate love or die trying. I'm not just say that. I'm putting my LIFE on the line. I don't care about who gets hurt or if I end up in jail. I will never bow down to anybody anymore and my life is mine. PURE DIRECT ******* GAME.


Day 1 (yesterday):

Sent this message to all potential babes on FB. "Hey baby, I've had thing for you for a while now, let's go out some time". Only 2 replies so far. One doesn't remember me, other has BF, so I replied "He can't make you feel like I do, let's go out"

REAL LIFE GAME:

See white HB7 while walking to my friends. Walk up next to her.
Me: "Hey, you lost?"
HB: "Not really"
Me: "I'm kind of lost, this city is really confusing" (even though I lived for 2 years HAHA)
HB: "Where are you going?"
Me: "XXXXXXXXXX, show me?"
HB: "You go left on the next intersection"

We walk an talk to the intersection and I ask for her number, but she say sorry no. So I tell her she missed out on the time of her life and leave. Open a couple more asian girls, no real success. I prefer white girls.

Me and a couple friend go out that night. One HB5 with nice tits was really into me. I tell her she has nice tits and she's digging it, and moves her face closer to me. I push her a way and tell her "I said nice tits, not your face" and eject.

Outside now, can't find my friend. I see a 3 set of girls, target is gorgeous, HB9. I'm wasted, I pull out my phone and walk up. Play the endearing drunk guy and tell on of her friends "Your hair is reaallly curly" then go on

"I dropped my phone, I think I broke it" while looking at it.
HB9 and her friend are both like "You want to use mine?
Me: "Nah, I don't know their number anyways. Have fun inside? (I'm only talk to hb9 now)
HB9: "Yeah it was really fun, crowded bla bla"
Me: "What accent is that? Australian, I love girls with accents"
She's all smiles. Her friends don't seem super happy.
Me: "I have this reeaally nice tv in my room, you should come check it out"
HB9: "I have champagne all over my hair from in the club"
Me: "That's okay so do I, someone was spraying it everywhere"
Then my friends come out of the club and one wants to go as he's in a bad mood.
Me "Last chance"
HB9: hesitates

I walk off to get in the cab with my friends, and she runs after me to give me her number. I get it down (in my friends phone, playing the part that my phone broke) and tell her I'll call her.

I think this girl could already be the one.

UPDATE TOMORROW.

 

[mv.89]

why would you lie to us ?

You are 9 in looks ? what you should've said is that you act like you are 9 in looks and that's totally acceptable.

Also go on, fill this. Anyone who starts Journals like these should describe themselves physically also.

Race:
Height:
Weight:
Body Fat:
Car: yes or no ?
Job: yes or no ?
Money: Stable ? Rich ? or just fine ?
Living: Family ? Roommates ? Alone ?
Studying: If it matters ? What are you studying ? college ? or uni ?

It'll allow others to understand the condition and situation and take lessons from this.


Also, BRAVO for taking initiative to change your life rather sitting and whining about it.

Good Luck.

 

[LastStand]

Some people have different opinion since my face is not very typical, but I've worked as a model before and am still signed to an agency. Not much work lately, but I still get some part time work for club events and product promotions they want to give an "international" look. One of those things is where I met the girl I "stalked" I was kind of awkward looking as a a teenager, so I became really shy, but since 17-18, most people consider me very good looking.

Race: 1/2 Japanese, 1/2 Italian/German
Height: 6ft2
Weight: 162lbs
Body fat: Not sure, but I'm skinny, but with toned arms nd back.
No car
Quit my dayjob recently, interesting in becoming an actor.
Money: Not much income, have some saved up
I live alone, family is out of country.
Not in college.

OKAY DAY 2:
**** FACEBOOK GAME. I'VE CLOSED MY ACCOUNT.

Real life game:

I decided to get drunk in the day time today, so I kicked about 5 beers around 2pm and hit the streets around where the foreigners hang out.

Went into the dvd store a found a hb7,5. Talk about movies, got a bit sexual talking about the movie "shame". easy number. Walked around
more, I'm feeling pretty tipsy now.

Saw a very pretty HB8,5. Half a point less cause she was really skinny. Walk next to her, look at her, she looks at me, I smile, she looks away.
Me: "Need help with those?" pointing at her shopping bags
Her: "No thanks"
Me: "You should accept when a guy offers to help you carry something, it hurts our pride"
Her: "You'll probably steal my clothes"
Me: "You caught me, tomorrow's a big crossdressing event at XXXXX"
Her: *laughs*
Me: "I'm LS, you're from Russia?"
Her: No, Ukraine

bla bla bla, get her number and go meet a friend.

NIGHT TIME:

I'm so drunk. I made out with 3 different girls. I slapped one girls ass and her friend wanted to fight me so I punched him on the chin and got kicked out.

Got home and big mistake, called stalking girl (I'll call her SM for soul mate from now) 3 times and sent her 3 messages, saying she's a ***** and she'll never find someone better or better looking than me.

Now im going to sleep. update tomorrow

 

[mv.89]

Find ultimate love in "next few months ?" and Beijing eh
Don't you think brother that putting a deadline on it like that might make you settle for something less eh and might cloud your judgement ?

Another questions- What do you do during the day when you aren't at a bar or club ?

How do you know that you can fight ? Never got a beating or took lessons so you are assuming that if a fight brews you'd be good at it ?

From the reading it seems all this is to find true love ? If that's the case it could be disastrous because you need to better yourself for yourself.

I am just curious to know all this. This is not a personal attack, I'd just like to gain a little more insight.