Journal 9asus2

[9asus2]

From Saturday night. (SKIP TO NEAR THE BOTTOM FOR THE MAIN PART)

Long night, engagement party, none of the girls in our group seemed open to anything.

1 seemed shy but a little compliant at first - but turned into an AW when drunk, splitting her attention between 4 guys in the group. Did have a swing at her though! Ignored her once the AW came out

1 seemed too shy and (genuinely)was not my type - did make her laugh and she was nice enough though

1 had a fiance - didn't want to push it too hard in front of our mutual friends.

I'd never met these 3 before, they were brought along by my friend who had gotten engaged.

MOVING ON!

Opened, 3 other sets before my "main" one (below) - got one number and no interest from the others at all. We left the club to go to a smaller bar, the girl I got the number off said she'd meet us there later.
I texted her to meet us in an hour, she never replied - turned up later but I ignored her.

SKIP TO HERE FOR MAIN PART
Left the smaller bar/club alone around 3, as it was packed and I was running low on state/momentum. Ran across to a more local place I'm comfortable in and decided I'd get one drink and call it a night.
As I walk outside I notice a girl (OK body, OK face - nothing special) talking to a guy, he looks like a chode so I'm not scared to approach.

It goes well, he leaves, she complains about the guy she's actually out with. I say something along the lines of "if you mean it, prove it, let's go" she doesn't resist at all, I take her back to the previous bar.

Kino pretty quick (I'm v. drunk by now so not sure how I started it, but sobered up a bit and stayed in the zone with it, escalating)
30 mins later we have a good vibe going, I kiss her, she again, complies.
After some more making out and chatting/touching etc. she says she wants to go home, I assume this is an invite and she doesn't resist for a second and we walk back to hers.

Back to hers, felt fine....in bed, in underwear......and out of nowhere she says "I'm a *****"...I'm thinking wtf so ignore it, and go for the kill, she's not having it. try a couple of times and like a chode then give up!

Think I needed to build a little more comfort, as I had the ****y/funny/kino down to a tee from 3 til 5 AM with her....but as soon as we got into bed it was like the vibe just died. w t f.


Worst part is this - best night I've had in ages. And usually dont have a group anywhere near that large to go out with, so don;t know how I'm going to build that momentum this weekend.

Also this night still felt like I got "lucky" rather than it being "me"...it felt like an anomaly and wasn't even THAT great....but it's experience at the very least, and I have to appreciate that.

 

[9asus2]

Any feedback would be welcomed, don't think I want to keep this as a "me only" journal

 

[Young OG]

It sounds like your making some improvement. You just have to stay with it and not give up, no matter how hard it is.

You didn't really say how she shut you down. Did she push your hand off her crotch? Sometimes women will say no but eventually it turns into a yes if you get them hot and horney enough.

Your journal should also include your goals and how you plan to achieve them, not just field reports.

 

[9asus2]

It sounds like your making some improvement. You just have to stay with it and not give up, no matter how hard it is.

You didn't really say how she shut you down. Did she push your hand off her crotch? Sometimes women will say no but eventually it turns into a yes if you get them hot and horney enough.

Your journal should also include your goals and how you plan to achieve them, not just field reports.

She did, twice, not too forcefully.

You're right, here are my goals, in no real order:

- Stop romanticizing past relationship (v hard to do, was 12 months of near perfect everything.)

- Get more friends. I actually kept a very active social life whilst with my ex, and have gained more of a social circle in the last 12 months than ever before. Was this pure chance? I don't know. Downside is that none of them want to go out on the weekends drinking. Although they are usually up for activities.

-Drink a little less when out

-Cold approach. I am still to scared to do it sober.

-MAIN ONE: Become centred.....80% of the time I feel like Im trying to hard or being boring/awkward.

 

[9asus2]

Would like your opinions on RSD (tyler and julien)

Have been religiously watching videos and whilst there seems like a lot of good info, you also have to sit back and analyse a LOT of contradicting advice....has anyone else noticed this?

 

[9asus2]

Did an approach today.

OK it wasn't really an approach as I had an excuse to talk and didn't even ask for a name.

-Girl at my gym, it's late and there's no one around so I don't feel too awkward.
-Walk over, say hey, offer her advice on how to use the machine properly
-She actually looked a quite happy to see me for the first 45 secs, albeit a little awkward as the interaction went on
-I did not help this awkwardness as I got into my head a little and started speaking faster/ un suave!

Really hammered in to me how not-smooth I am with girls when I'm sober.

Still, it's something. Might re-approach without an excuse next time I see her.

 

[9asus2]

Going to start no fap.

Been checking this site religiously, aswell as re-watching a lot of RSD videos. It feels like if I don't immerse myself in this for the near future then my mind just homes straight back in on my ex. I am obsessed.

 

[Young OG]

She did, twice, not too forcefully.

You're right, here are my goals, in no real order:

- Stop romanticizing past relationship (v hard to do, was 12 months of near perfect everything.)

- Get more friends. I actually kept a very active social life whilst with my ex, and have gained more of a social circle in the last 12 months than ever before. Was this pure chance? I don't know. Downside is that none of them want to go out on the weekends drinking. Although they are usually up for activities.

-Drink a little less when out

-Cold approach. I am still to scared to do it sober.

-MAIN ONE: Become centred.....80% of the time I feel like Im trying to hard or being boring/awkward.

Maybe you didn't get her horney enough. Not enough for play. Ive had women in the past move my hand away and I still ended up banging them. A matter of fact, that happened on sunday night and I still hit it.

Once you hit some new skins, you will forget all about that woman your still thinking about.

Find some friends that want to go to bars. If you do any activities with those friends you already have, make sure women are involved.

Yes, if you drink to much, it can hurt your game.

Cold approach isn't easy. I still am not good at it. I just started doing OLD recently. Have you thought about trying it? But, if your not cut up, then its not worth it. You need a nice shirtless pic for your profile.

Usually, just be yourself isn't good advice, but it is for your main goal. Just don't think about being boring/awkward.

Would like your opinions on RSD (tyler and julien)

Have been religiously watching videos and whilst there seems like a lot of good info, you also have to sit back and analyse a LOT of contradicting advice....has anyone else noticed this?

The RSD guys are the real deal, but some of that PUA stuff is bullshvt. You have to remember, its a business. They want to sell products to AFC/betas to make money.

Going to start no fap.

Some people swear by this, but I don't think no fap is good. If your not getting any, its going to come out someway or another. If I don't fap at all, I'll wake up in the middle of the night once a week with my boxers wet lol. I would suggest fapping once a week. Don't fap to any porn.

Hope some of this helps. I'm not an expert. I'm still learning too.

 

[9asus2]

Hope some of this helps.

Thanks for the input bud, little bit of outside-affirmation from people on here is what I'm craving. Have never been like this before, always got by on my own. Really weird feeling but I'm sure it can't last.

RE: OLD. Never tried it no...I'm sat at around 13%bf right now (<10% in the summer, for real) so topless pics w/ abs etc are the one area I do excel! Might be worth a shot.

 

[Young OG]

Have never been like this before, always got by on my own. Really weird feeling but I'm sure it can't last.

I never thought that I would be on a site like this. I'm not sure what your age is, but now that I'm older and got out of a long LTR, I noticed that the game has changed. You have swallowed the red pill. As I look around at the way the world is, it all suddenly makes sense. I used to get plenty women in my younger days, but I know I would have gotten a lot more if I knew the stuff I know now. Its good that you are on here trying to learn and improve yourself. You will be a better person than you ever were if you keep at it.

 

[dustmuffin]

Drink less when out is good. I don't or drink very little. Went to wine tasting 4 glasses 4 sips. They came in a packaged deal. Kino is so easy in a bar. Its hard to hear sometimes. Even if it isnt pretend it is. Lean over put your hand on thier back and say something. When you retreat drag your hand lightly down their arm. Touch their forearm. Say they have something in thier hair and lightly brush it away. Game sober. You will get better.

 

[9asus2]

Drink less when out is good. I don't or drink very little. Went to wine tasting 4 glasses 4 sips. They came in a packaged deal. Kino is so easy in a bar. Its hard to hear sometimes. Even if it isnt pretend it is. Lean over put your hand on thier back and say something. When you retreat drag your hand lightly down their arm. Touch their forearm. Say they have something in thier hair and lightly brush it away. Game sober. You will get better.

On it for sure! It's dead odd, cause those occasions that I'm drunk and in the zone = my kino is just perfect.

Sober = awkward mess atm!

Headed out tomorrow night for activites, hopefully followed by a couple bars.
Then saturday night gonna solo the bars! scary!

Will report back.

 

[dustmuffin]

On it for sure! It's dead odd, cause those occasions that I'm drunk and in the zone = my kino is just perfect.

Sober = awkward mess atm!

Headed out tomorrow night for activites, hopefully followed by a couple bars.
Then saturday night gonna solo the bars! scary!

Will report back.

I think part of my mindset is I just don't care...or almost. I know what to do and I do it. I am a little hesitant about cold approaches. I need to work on that. But in an arranged social setting with other singles you know they are there to meet guys. My hands are always on someones back. I even did a little thigh. What is the worst thing that will happen? I have a meet up tomorrow and two of the women i met last night will be there. I will do kino and get numbers. Its a buddust meditation.

Take action! Just do it! Practice makes perfect!

 

[9asus2]

I've regressed, or so it seems.

Forced myself to go out for half an hour alone last night. Sober - couldnt open at all (or wouldnt)
Drove home, told myself its OK to have a bad night, just use it as fuel to make sure you approach the next time.
Slept - dreamt of ex. One of those where you wake up feeling heartbroken all over again.

Anyway. Going out tonight with a couple friends.

 

[9asus2]

Update:

No pulls saturday night.

Was in my head a bit so decided to burn a set to the ground - 3 girls (literally all 9's, I've never approached a 9 before, let alone 3), used it to get in state a little. Went up to them and could tell from the second they looked at me this wasn't going to go well, they were very b*tchy. So I had fun with it and made myself look like a complete idiot, pretty hard rejection. But I was laughing so hard after and it really did get me back into state a little for the rest of the night.

They did compliment the "bravery" of opening them though haha.

The rest of the night was OK, some kino here and there with some girls. A lot of sets like the one above, just going balls out to try and numb the feelings of rejection.

Kiss on the cheek at the end of night, might as well pat me on the head!! lmao.

THINGS RE-AFFIRMED FROM THIS:

-drink less when I am out, so as to turn down the assho*e-ness a little.
-drink less when I am out, so as to utilize better game
-drink less when I am out, so that I don't get to used to opening ONLY when I'm out
-drink less when I am out, as it may be making me look needy, which could be one reason that there's not much attraction coming my way

Can you see a pattern forming!?

Note: got a pizza the next day with a couple friends, as we're sat in the restaurant this ~40yo woman with her husband and kids keeps glancing over at me, maybe 8-10 times. Felt good I guess.

 

[dustmuffin]

Update:

No pulls saturday night.

Was in my head a bit so decided to burn a set to the ground - 3 girls (literally all 9's, I've never approached a 9 before, let alone 3), used it to get in state a little. Went up to them and could tell from the second they looked at me this wasn't going to go well, they were very b*tchy. So I had fun with it and made myself look like a complete idiot, pretty hard rejection. But I was laughing so hard after and it really did get me back into state a little for the rest of the night.

They did compliment the "bravery" of opening them though haha.

The rest of the night was OK, some kino here and there with some girls. A lot of sets like the one above, just going balls out to try and numb the feelings of rejection.

Kiss on the cheek at the end of night, might as well pat me on the head!! lmao.

THINGS RE-AFFIRMED FROM THIS:

-drink less when I am out, so as to turn down the assho*e-ness a little.
-drink less when I am out, so as to utilize better game
-drink less when I am out, so that I don't get to used to opening ONLY when I'm out
-drink less when I am out, as it may be making me look needy, which could be one reason that there's not much attraction coming my way

Can you see a pattern forming!?

Note: got a pizza the next day with a couple friends, as we're sat in the restaurant this ~40yo woman with her husband and kids keeps glancing over at me, maybe 8-10 times. Felt good I guess.

That happens to me too...I have talked to women and they take off their wedding ring. Um no not happening...

 

[9asus2]

Bit pissed at myself right now.

Went swimming today after work. Bit of a monday mood so just kept my head down and did my thing. Said hi to a couple of the regulars.

Anyway, as I'm walking out through the glass gate things, this very attractive girl stares me down, and does the "not bad" look, making it real obvious. Bare in mind I'm just wearing sweats and a hoodie. I have very wide shoulders, I'm sure that's what she was looking at.

That sort of thing never really happens to me, and I just walked away...did not open. Granted she had turned away by this point and was talking to her friend, but still...

Writing this down really puts into perspective how petty I'm being, need to man up!

 

[9asus2]

bad night, felt like every set just wanted me to leave. Except for 2 which were OK, bit of kino which went nowhere.This is part of the process I guess.

Can't get in that groove, do not know what's wrong with me right now.

 

[dustmuffin]

bad night, felt like every set just wanted me to leave. Except for 2 which were OK, bit of kino which went nowhere.This is part of the process I guess.

Can't get in that groove, do not know what's wrong with me right now.

Keep at it. Just chatted with a poster on phone with same problems. Chin up it will get better.

 

[macallik]

Just read the journal. Congrats on getting out there. You are making gains short term, you just don't realize it, but the women do. You will start to get more IOIs the more you go out. Right now, you are not acting on those IOI's but as you get in the field more, eventually you will reach a tipping point where you say fvck it, and go in.

One thing I want to suggest is to be a bit more cautious when you are approaching women that are with guys. I have had guys jump in my sets before and I let it slide because A) I can't fight and B) Any chick that openly flirts with another guy while I am out with her isn't high quality but, there are a lot of guys that take that really really personally.

One other thing is that you need to remind yourself of what went positively in your interaction as well. You are beating yourself up, but the fact that you have a journal and are actively trying to get better is better than the majority of the message board. Saying how you are slipping all the time is not going to make your game better. Yes, you definitely need to make explicit where you can improve, but at the same time, you also need to give yourself props or else it will feel like you are spinning your wheels and you will burn yourself out. No one wants that.

As for your goals, I like them but I think you need to go into a bit more detail and spell out your gameplan as well so that you can confidently say if you are moving closer to achieving your goals or not:

- Get more friends. I actually kept a very active social life whilst with my ex, and have gained more of a social circle in the last 12 months than ever before. Was this pure chance? I don't know. Downside is that none of them want to go out on the weekends drinking. Although they are usually up for activities.
How are you going to meet more friends? Join a meetup.com group? Are you going to talk to guys at venues that you go to so that you can warm up and be more in-state when you are out and about? Etc.
-Drink a little less when out
How many drinks are you looking to have? Are you going to only take $25 to the bar and no credit card so that you can't buy more than a few drinks?
-Cold approach. I am still to scared to do it sober.
How are you going to improve your confidence? Visualizations? Affirmations?
-MAIN ONE: Become centred.....80% of the time I feel like Im trying to hard or being boring/awkward.
What is something that you think other people will find interesting? Have you read the SoSuave Archived posts about conversation skills for ideas? Something like 'Conversing for Maximum Attraction' or 'How to be a better conversationalist'