Journal #2: Another Start

[jericg]

after not having much to say on the past couple of months. I am very rusty and ive completely given up on my 1st journal. I have not pickd up in months. One good thing is tjat i finally have a phone I've gotten a few numbers and im quite content. However, i just realized that I'm introvert, that i don't like to hang out with big groups.my life style has greatly improved thanks to so suave. I've become the class clown and I'm more interesting to talk to. I just have anxiety problems now and then of my social life.
If you may not know me, i am a junior of 16 years old. I live basketball, video games, computers, and women. I am slim built with shoulders that make me look buffer. I am considering myself as a geek, but one that dress more fashionably. I am not very well known at school, so i joined some clubs. I am often out going, but I'm also introvert. his new journal wil be more organized and i will be posting more often. I'll start with today:
Dec 07, 2012
I woke up, did hygienes, dressed nice as i always do. I packed lunch and got dropped off school. I left stuff in my locker and went to the library to do my college research. And stayed with with a friend( from the tennis team and completely shipped my research. There goes mY geek side. I saw a cute girl on a computer. I told my friend that he owes me $10 if i do a number close on her. I pussied out and she left. Regret came over me and i went outside to look. She was gone.
We had a rally that day and at lunch, i went to a club meeting and waited for my afc friends. They came and sat around me, and this cute girl 9.5 (Jess) came and talked to me. She was hot and ive met her through a friend. We had intimate close eye contacts, but i blabbered crap because i was nervous(idk why, the afc is probly coming back). I complemented how good she looks but I was stuttering everywhere, but we talked at the spot even after the meeting. I asked her:
Me: what is your ideal guy?(stuttering)
Her: i like more mature guys. Too many guys only want sex from me. Why dont u have a gf
Me: (stuttered again) i dont know...
She ate and the bell rang. Got her number and hugged her goodbye. i was kinda awkward bcuz.i was intimidated with being so close to a 9.5. We had about 6 inches apart face to face. I texted her after restkng at home, saying some nice guy stuff now she hasnt replied back in a while. Im kinda concerned.dang it, neediness again. Ill wait for tomorrow.
So that is it for today. I am really weak at gaming now. I think im just overthinking it right? Ive only really talked to her today. Got her number. Thats good. I have a couple of questions to ask: what should i do the next time i see her? She said that she likes this 20 y.o guy. Shes 16. Should i.ask her on a date in text? I didnt show myself confidently so it might not work. And do i still continue picking up r talking to other girls when im in a relationship?

 

[TheMusic]

Can you please make it a little easier to read?

 

[jericg]

Sorry, it was glitching up

 

[jericg]

Dec 8, 2012
Today I biked around to go to my friends doing a club charity work. I dressed up nice, put on a tie, dress shirt, and headed. I got some looks from girls on my 30 minute bike ride.I got there late because my friends were gonna leave. I asked them if they want to wing me today, but i always expect a no from my Afc friends. They left and i stayed for in the volunteer area. I became thirsty from all the biking, and I had the idea. I went inside the building and knew that kids from other schools are still volunteering. I walked up to a 7.5 asian girl and said:
Me: Hey, do you know where I can get water?(notices they had milk cartons)
7.5: Oh, no i dont know where to get water. (smiles)
Me: what if i just get milk? Or should I go in line?(smiling back)
7.5: oh, go ahead.(hands milk)
Me: thank you (leaves)
I left and biked to the beach hoping to find girls. I took pictures to edit later. I remembered that the school is gonna do a memorial at the beach, someone who died. I texted this one girl(name her star, 7.5). Im quite close to her, but long friendzoned from my afc days. She tells me to bring a baloon but i didnt. People with balloons gathered up and i joined them. I met some people i knew from school. I decided to not pick up in respect, even if the place was swarming with 8s and 9s. Star, her mom, and her 8 sister Kay found me and raljed to me. I appealed to the mom a lot, and i talked to them fir the rest of the time. I talked a lot to star and shared some emotions. Me and kay touched shoulder to shoulder a lot. The memorial ended and we left. I hugged star goodbye. Star is an awkward girl, and kay acts childish.
It was an ok day today. Shouldve talked more with the volunteer girl and gotten her #, but my head made up excuses. No excuses next time. Currently im trying to improve in to the 'simple pickup' vibe which i sometimes do. Its when u feel so hyped up that things that u say just flows confidently. Its called god mode. I texted the 9.5, jess, today and she replied. My texting game sucked, i just got my phhone. Any tips on how to improve on my texting game?

 

[jericg]

12/10/12
Today was a really different day. I go to school and met with saw this friend of mine(mig 1). I told him that we should go to the library. As we walked there, instinctively i began to bust some popping moves. It was fun, and my friend and the people around us saw me. I didnt care if I was bad or good, i just kept doing it. So we got in there and the day went by. The whole day, i kept my confidence. I do not know why. Im guessing my silly popping dance this morning got me hyped up. School ended and I walked around the school looking for someone to hang out with. i texted mig1 to see if he wanted to hang out. As i continued walking, i suddenly felt extreme confidence. I was in god mode. I noticed every girl that passed by stared at me. Even this 9.8(aud) that i still like. She is fvcking gorgeous, but too quiet back in my afc days. I didnt flinch when we had eye contact. She quickly turned away. She might be interested. Ill try talking to her next time. Mig1 didnt want to hang out so i walked home.
I didnt talk to Jess today or even text her. I didnt want to seem needy. So djs, what should i do to keep improving my game? I told mig1 that me and him will be picking up tomorrow and he was excited. I think i finally found a true wingman

 

[jericg]

12/15/12
Today I decided to have a simple adventure. My plan for today was to take the bus to the mall for the first time in my life. I asked my friend Ard if he'd wing me in my adventure. He agreed so we went to ride the bus. It was strange. It was crowded and I met people. On the first few minutes, these three girls, all below 7, came in. I made eye contact with one of them, i waved. She waved back and smiled. Her friend decided to move back. I avoided eye contact. Few minutes past with nothing to do so I practiced my arm popping. I did not care if any1 saw me. However, I sort of felt insecure. When me and Ard were dropped of at the transit center, i ignored the 3 girls and continued popping. Nothing serious, ive only been dancing for a month. Then I noticed these 2 girls , a 6.5 and a 7.3. 7.3 was sexy. I kept popping, conscious of every1 else. I felt like I was doing it to get attention, to increase my confidence, but idk why i was doin it. When our bus arrived, I found out that the 2 girls wete going to the mall too. I made a conversation. I dont remember what i said but i smiled and talked to bith of them . I found out their names, that their freshmen, and that I held 7.3s hand when i shook her hand. She became really shy and started looking away and hiding her face. I felt good, but i wasnt comfortable enough to keep the convo. I tried to get Ard to wing me in the convo, but he wouldnt. So we took a separate seat far from the 2 girls. Shouldve gotten their numbers, but my head went somewhere else.
We reached the mall after a convo with an old man at the bus. We went straight to the mall ignoring the 2 girls. The whole day went bad. I just let 8s, 9s, and even 10s pass by me, the whole day. I got no numbers. I only got a fedora as a gift from my friend Rom who was buying gifts. The day pretty much ended there.
Wow, i really have to boost my confidence. I havent been playing basketball, cleaning my room, or anything useful. My grades are also falling. Man, i will have to work on these.

 

[jericg]

12/22/12
Today me and my friends decided to make a film today at the library. We gathered up and i noticed that my friends were a bit off, boring, and unexcited. I hated it because later on the whole group became exactly that except me. I tried to bring the group up but damnit i became annoyed. They made me feel like an afc again, which they are.
We decided to not film because we were unprepared. It began raining. All these increased the already awkward and boring mood. We left the library and went to the mall to have film ideas. The mood stayed. I couldnt take it anymore. All this awkwardness built up inside me and i decided to project it to something.
I told my friends that i had an idea. I told them that they should film me while i dubstep dance in the store. It was a little far from my comfort zone, but my instincts are always leading me to do the strangest thing. I emoted my negativity to something I love. So i did, for a good minute. I was a little nervous with ppl around but it was done. My friends sort of loosened up and we went home. I will be editing that video abd hope to show u DJs

 

[LearningSlowly]

Awkwardness is a tough obstacle. Awkwardness is always in yourself, never in what's around you. Even if people seem awkward, remember that you are seeing them through the screen of your mind, which has decided it feels awkward already. Just feel the sensation of "awkward" and don't be influenced by it. Soon it will disappear.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I never feel get awkward anymore. I also love making things awkward, but I find that people just get weird with the buildup of tension.

 

[jericg]

01/03/13
Wow, I have not been here in weeks! But I did something good to start the year off. Here I'd my story for today:

Today, I decided to do another day game. I dressed up witha sexy schoolboy attitude. Brown converse and dress shirt, a black tie and belt, and grey fit jeans. The past two days I have had day games, but never actually approachd any females. It seemed as if I had my anxiety back for not picking up in months. So my friend Ard wanted to wing me but he didnt want any #s. We headed to the mall again with my sisters boyfriend Ty as our ride and a wingman.

I built up confidence before heading in the mall, but shortly it faltered. My wingmen watched me as i let set by set pass by. Then, i went to my phone to read some of the DJ bible and had a boost up. We saw a 4 and a 7.5 pass by. I got sick of pvssying.out so i went for it. I literally slithered through the crowd and ran for them.
Me: Excuse me!
Girls:-looks-
Me: Uhhm, I lost my number, can I have yours?
7.5: Thats just... Cheesy. -laughs-
4:-laughs-, -both laughing and gets into photo booth-
Me: -whispers- I should join u guys. Jk, bye. -leaves-
I did really bad on the first one. However, it was good to fail because i was already hyped up for my 2nd approach. Me and the two walked around, with Ty giving lectures and us two listening. We decided to walk out the door when I see 2girls on the side. They loked at me. We walked out anyways. At the door, I told my wings that Im gonna do it. Ty tells Ard that i have to do it alone. I walked back in. It was a 8 and a 3.
Me: Hi, uhh, do you guys know where i can buy food?
8: what?
Me: Do you guys know where to buy food?
Both: -points- go that way.
Me:JK, i only came here because i think youre cute.
8:-laughs- thank you!
-4 minute convo with both. Got to know them. I was surprisingly confident, i felt how a real DJ feels and i acted it. I ejected out with my first pickup number ever.-
I came back out with the phone up in the air to show Ard and Ty. Ty couldn't believe it but i showed them.
We went back in, and i made my 3rd approach. A 5.5 and an 8. I dont remember what i said. It almost got awkward but i ejected with a number from them. Hug close
We then went to the food court, where we found this dude from school(name him Ant). He was with a friend. Found out he was picking up to so me, Ard, Ant, his friend went. Ty went to my sister to take care of my other little sister. Ant told me he was shy and couldnt do it. I told him that I will show him one. i found a 7.5 and approached. Then suddenly she began talking to these 3 big black guys next to her who where dressed up like gang members. I quickly turned away before i got to her. Ant made fun of me, but I would rather have safety xD. We then went to the other side. so did the 7.5. I wanted to show him so, I made a reproach.
Me: -Talked, but too fast and i stumbled my words-
7.5: Whatd he say? To her lil friends.
Me: -talked to the whole group, but 7.5 left and the rest followed, laughing- bye!
Ant told me that i was nervous. I was nervous but I wasnt done. Us four walked around again and i saw the first girls. Reuproach:
Me: You guys are ****ing everywhere!
-i felt that dj feeling again so i kept a convo. I soon found out that 7.5 had a bf. I was about to ask her friend but said, "How about, oh, screw it. Bye!".
Ant was dissapointed. His friend left and he left us for the food court 7.5s group.
The day went by and it became dark. i lost my fire so me and Ard just explored and danced away in the mall. We let 8s and 9s pass by. I popped and caught some attention. Ty picked us up and went home.
Today is one good day for my introvert self. I loved having that DJ feeling. I was confident through rejection and closes. It was weird though that i remember Ard was approached twice by middle school girls and Ty told me he was approached by a cougar. Fun day overall with 2 #s out of 4 aproaches(not including reuproaches). I MUST do anoyher one tomorrow. Too bad Ty and my sis are going back to their place. Ty is like a real bro with his advice. Im going to have to look for pick up places. Ard likes it and he wants to join me again tomorrow. Goodluck to us happy new dj years my brodas! Get those pvssies!

 

[jericg]

1/26/13
Jezus, i have not posted got almost a month. But today was a very good day for me. I went to one of the best parties of my life. Everybody else had fun and i think it wouldnt have been without my energy around the place. Heck, i think the party was fun because of me. But heres what happened:

Today was a big day for my friend Rom and his cousin. It was their bdays and his family decided to do a masquerade. I was so happy that this was a chance for me to show my popping skills in public. I dressed up as a dancer: a blue jabbawockie mask, ghetto yellow cleaning gloves(lol), red nikes, a white dress shirt, a tie, and dark jeans. I got excited to.see myself as a dancer so i put them on. I got restless so i went to Roms gfs house so i can get a ride. Me and her had a long talk about school for a good 2 hours, but then Ard asked me if he could pick me up to the masquerade. I wanted to go early so i did and left roms gf. Me and ard were the firs as Rom and his family was still preparing. When the party started, Star and her friend, lets call her Desi, came. I kinda liked star a bit. I tried to.get her to dance with m, but knew it was friendzone. More people came, including my friend mike and roms gf and her bro.

Then this chick, a 9, came in. SHE WAS PACKED: she was kinda overweight but in an extremely attractive way. She had the shape and the face, but throughout the night, i wasnt able to approach her because she was bigger and older than me, like 18 years old. Darn, for some reason, i couldnt give her eye contact. Dang introvertedness. I was completely opposite at the dancefloor though. I had so much energy and confidence that i danced my life out. So did everyone my age. I even made up dance games for everyone: one where we get to a circle and a person starts a move, which everyone copies, and then the person to his or her left counts to five and creates a dance move that everyone copies again, then continues. We played my game like 3x the entire nite for A good hour.I also made wacky dance moves where i layed on the floor and acted like a clock. Ard helped me out and dragged my legs. So much fun and energy!
When star left Desi with me, i decided to talk to her and get to know her. I wasnt attracted, but its nice to have a friend to get to know other friends. We made wacky dance moves. I tried to get her # but she asked why. I said nvm, but later on she asked me for my Facebook. Lol Ard whispered that there were so many milfs haha.

It was fun throughout the night. I lead a train dance in the dancing crowd of middle aged adults, but my friends ejected lol. The packed 9 was there but still i was a pvssy. However, when everyone sat, i popped. I decided that i was addicted to popping. It was so much fun to dance around, even when i was by myself.

When the party was endin, i was thinking of approaching 9. However, i could not even make A DARN EYE CONTACT. My superego overpowered me, saying shes way older than me and shes too fat for me. My brain keeps avoiding looks at . Then I got a ride from Ard and went home without meeting her. This ruined my night.

The night could have been perfect if i approached her. I hate regret, i really do. I couldve had my first sex right there with a sexy @ss 9, but i was so stupid. REGRET, I HATE YOU. I loved tonight, i was the best of me and the worst of me. I was introvert, but at the same time a shmexy, confident leader. I couldve gotten her to dance with me, but then again thats only a dream now.