"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Joshski's Field Report

Joshski

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Joshski's Field Report/Improvement Program

Hey guys. After reading a lot of posts on here, I decided it's my turn to get some action. I've never had a girlfriend before nor have I had my first kiss/asked anyone out/etc.

If you want to help me out, just read "The Situation"

All About Me:
I play basketball for my high school and I'm moving up to Varsity this year. My coach highly recommended working out since I wasn't very strong at the time. I was also 5 foot 11 inches and only 135 pounds.

Starting about 6 weeks ago, me and a couple friends of mine starting going to the school's fitness center 3 times a week. I haven't gained as much muscle as I would have liked, but it's a start. I have strong abs but I have to lean back a little for them to show all the way. So in conclusion, I'm stronger and more in shape than I was before.

I shaved for the first time over the summer so the slightly noticeable mustache, beard, and unibrow are gone. I also had a problem with biting my nails while I was stressed, but for a about a month, I stopped. (But then I started again :down:)

The Situation
I'm a reporter for the school newspaper and I was assigned to cover a girls soccer game. I got to know a couple of the girls after the first two games I covered.

After the second game, I posted the pictures I wasn't going to use for my article on Facebook. One of them was of a girl that I'm gonna call Soul. I tagged her in it. So 1 of my guy friends commented on it saying how she and the other player had sexy faces although both of them look horrible. Soul then posts and asks me to delete it. I don't respond and some more people comment/like it.

The next day at school I'm eating lunch with 4 of my friends and she is at the table behind me. She says to me "Joshski delete it!" I tell her that I'll do it sooner or later. Later in the day, I'm going to class and see her but I ignore her. She runs up to me and asks politely for me to delete it. I say maybe and then she says a bunch of stuff about how its ugly. We actually maintained a conversation for several minutes as both of us had a class far away.

The following day I had to cover the Semi-Finals. I get on the bus and Soul says "You're not taking any pictures, right Joshski?" I just sit down and ignore her. After the game was over (my team won 4-0), she comes next to me and asks to see the pictures. I take the camera off from around my next and put it on her, lightly brushing her hair and shoulders. I know that I really should have gotten more touching in, but it's too late now.

Some of my guy friends say that she posted on my wall saying to delete the pic so they say I should use it like blackmail. What would you guys suggest? Should I ask/tell her to go out with me and I'll remove the picture or is that too childish/weird?

The Championship game is on Monday, so I would really like to try something that day.
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Joshski

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DJ_Hero said:
If you're going to start working out, check out the health and fitness forum. The vault.

It sounds like Soul likes you and I think you should ask her out. If you think "blackmailing" her and telling her to go out with you is a good idea, then just roll with it. It really doesn't matter HOW you ask her out, just as long as you DO ask her out.
Thanks for the quick response. The next thing I was wondering is what do I ask her out to do? I was thinking getting lunch at school, but there are way too many people who could interrupt us. I've read that movies aren't great because there isn't much space or time to talk...Any suggestions?
 

NorwegianDJ

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Any action date really. It doesn't matter. Like I'm going halloween with one today, but we both know whats going down.
Just have as much fun as possible, she will too. Action dates makes it easy to get kino in, teasing, switching locations, creative. All the good stuff.

And for your workout, I'm not gonna give you a full paragraph or two, but remember that the most important factor is consistency. But your not really gonna gain anything if you lift light or use machines only anyway.
 

Joshski

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NorwegianDJ said:
Any action date really. It doesn't matter. Like I'm going halloween with one today, but we both know whats going down.
Just have as much fun as possible, she will too. Action dates makes it easy to get kino in, teasing, switching locations, creative. All the good stuff.

And for your workout, I'm not gonna give you a full paragraph or two, but remember that the most important factor is consistency. But your not really gonna gain anything if you lift light or use machines only anyway.
Alright, thanks. There are a lot of fun places near my school so I guess I can take her somewhere around there.

(Any other suggestions or ideas are welcome.)
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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NorwegianDJ

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I just noticed now... wth is your signature all about? I would remove it if I were you. Noone really like anyone that commercializes, unless it's actually usefull.
 

Joshski

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Update:
So I found out from some friends of mine that Soul has a boyfriend. I've never actually seen them together though...I'll have to find out what's going on with that. If it's a legit relationship I'm nexting her. If it's not, I'll ask.
 

Joshski

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I haven't posted in a bit, but here are the small updates.

So I still haven't seen Soul and her bf together so I decided I'm going to make a move. I thought about it and came up with the 3 things that will happen.

Either:

1) I ask her out, she says no and we never speak to each other again
2) I don't ask her out and we never speak to each other again
3) I ask her out, she says yes
 

AlexLefty

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Joshski said:
Either:

1) I ask her out, she says no and we never speak to each other again
2) I don't ask her out and we never speak to each other again
3) I ask her out, she says yes
Exactly.
-You're not going out with her right now.
-Worst case scenario, you won't go out with her because she'll reject you
-Now, if you do NOTHING, you're basically putting yourself in the worst case scenario

If that doesn't help, try to think of it as a game, a game that you never really win or loose. Don't think of it in terms of winning or loosing. Think of it in terms of experience. If she goes out with you, you are NOT winning. You she rejects you, you are NOT loosing. You are GAINING experience either way. So no matter what you do, you're always GAINING, gaining experience, the only catch is that you have to do SOMETHING.
 

Joshski

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Well I haven't had much time to speak to her b/c we don't have any classes together and I have practice once school ends, but I went to practice today and as I was walking her, her and the rest of the Cross-Country team. The guy squad came first so I said hi to a couple of them. Then the girls squad came. I made eye contact with her, but apparently she didn't see me because she turned around.

I think I'm just over analyzing this, but we'll see.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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