"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Jodi Arias trail crime scene photos (NSFW)

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Married Buried

Master Don Juan
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That is one nasty ass looking vagina. You call that a good looking vagina?

No wonder he only would bang her in the ass.
 

Married Buried

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Bible_Belt said:
Yeah, what were they sticking up there? Was she into fisting?

She was into whatever Travis wanted her to be into. Still though, the curtains in my living room looks better than that nasty skanks vagina.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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betheman

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it looks like her lungs are hanging out of it
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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JT12

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MaddXMan said:
Wow that guy got ****ed up!
He totally did dude. She cut that dude deep enough in his throat to make sure he was dead. Its like almost 50% through his neck.
 

Hustlaz Ambition

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Malice said:
I guess so.. you have a meat curtain fetish?
I always like to foreplay the girl's pus$ys by sucking on the cl!t and smacking my d!ck on the pus$y before I stick it in. Her vagina looks like its good for that process especially.
 
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Married Buried

Master Don Juan
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Hustlaz Ambition said:
I always like to foreplay the girl's pus$ys by sucking on the cl!t and smacking my d!ck on the pus$y before I stick it in. Her vagina looks like its good for that process especially.

I wonder if she gets conjugal visits in prison.. maybe you can send an application.
 
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