"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Job Cv Help !!!!!

StoneCold

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 19, 2003
Messages
157
Reaction score
0
Hey guys listen im applying for a part time work placement at tesco mainyl just for the chicks coz their hell fine their ive writen a short CV please judge it and let me know if i need to change anything i really need to work their because they have fine women only part time though.

here is my cv please give postive feeback i know it might need a little work..

Hey this is ....... Cv

Im applying to work with you guys at Tesco why you may ask i will tell you coz i workout alot and am a big strong guy for me to carry boxes and even meat is so easy im tall too so i can handle anything you throw at me.
People love me all ways even big ones i dont know why maybe because im 2 good looking and sexy.
I Study loads of things and right now im at uni doing Digital arts with ....... whos the head of the music and media department.
ive met starnge people at univsity and woulg like to carry that on at tesco people like max whos a goth rock star with red hair and skinny guy with hughe shoes.
im highly educated in all departments you name it acting, singing, dancing, physcology, sales. management i can even stand on my head for like 30 mins.
my uncle use to own a farm in africa where he had millions of animals from chikens, cows, pigs so im sure i can deal with your meaty products easly and give postive freindly advice.

i have writen a short rap just to justify a few of my skills and aspects while working with your tesco.

Yo this is Me i aint free but i like to wee
im here to check da babes so call me bee
coz im da king bee you see and tesco is like home
what a big dome never alone but forever my throne
what you see is what you get a big man like me can make things look
free,
im ready to work and check out ur sexy clerks but dont worry i will always help
the granny who has a big fanny.

hows my rap?

Im highly entertaining and can provide a freindly and happy atomsphere for everyone so choose me u wont be dissapointed.

any further questions please let me know kind regards from the king



dont worry about the spelling coz it was done quick as i must go t hand it in soon thanks peace
:cheer:
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

Centaurion

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2001
Messages
2,314
Reaction score
17
Location
Europe
I don't think you have any ****ing idea what a CV is. Writing a rap in your Cover Letter? hahahhahaha I suggest you google for CV.
 

DrMetallica

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2003
Messages
914
Reaction score
0
Location
EU
why u iznt using da propa spellin of da words ya fookin muppet!!!!
 

StoneCold

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 19, 2003
Messages
157
Reaction score
0
Guess what guyz i just been given a job a tesco they said they needeed staff and they liked my cv
i have to start next week so its all good
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Top