ThunderMaverick
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2004
- Messages
- 1,945
- Reaction score
- 70
- Age
- 45
God, I don't know who's idea it was to cement this crazy theory in your head...
...but jerking off to porn does NOT effect your sexual state when you're with a girl.
Here's the scenario and then the problem:
You're with a girl. You're inexperienced. To you she's still this wonderful magical creature that you're just lucky to be with. It's like you spotted a unicorn and before it had a chance to get away, you reach into your pocket for your POKEBALL and throw it at her, trapping her inside. This unicorn is unstable though. You don't know how long it'll stay in there. You want to use it to battle with other pokemon, but you're afraid it won't listen to your commands. The time comes for battle and you don't know how to control it.
Sorry for going off into the pokemon tangent, (I can't believe I compared girls to a Pikachu.) but you get the idea. Inexperienced guys have this idea that women are something that are rare and need to be caught. You drill this idea of what you're suppose to do in your head when you actually get one; A mechanical process starts.
"Hmmm Neg hits. CHECK!"
"Display higher value, CHECK!"
"be funny! ****Y! CHECK"
You do everything in the book right, but in actuality, ask yourself this: Are you really enjoying the female company? Or are you just trying to get laid?
I think the mistake many guys are making here is because they aren't COMFORTABLE enough with a female. I mean as in not just having a LUST after her, or the IDEA of lust that you're suppose to have.
"Ok, she's naked. I'm SUPPOSE to be horny! I'm suppose to be a man and be rock hard!" All the while not understanding that he should first be comfortable with a woman MENTALLY.
Good God, some of you I'm surprised don't even post about how much you enjoy the COMPANY of a feminine body around you. Just asking her what makes her feel good should be a turn on for you. Her willingness to spread her legs should be a turn on for you.
Porn isn't the problem. We see porn as we see a fast food resturant: Drive through, eat quick. You're full, but you still feel kinda..."eh." Afterwards. It hit the spot, but it's nothing like a thoughtfully prepared meal. Howabout when you go to Black Angus and have yourself a 25 dollar steak dinner? The food is AMAZING, but it's not just the food that's the experience.It's the atmosphere and the people you're with.
The problem might lie in that guys are treating women like McDonalds when they're actually Red Lobster. I'm not speaking to the guys who are TOTALLY sexually aware when it comes to women. I'm talking to guys who only look at ONE aspect of it: Get laid. You know what you're expecting from a fancy restaurant. You know you have a endless choice of options. You enjoy sitting at your table while starting with appetizers. You have a nice wine to start off with. You converse with friends or family for several minutes until your food is served. Hot and mouthwatering!
You enjoy every cut. Every bite. Every flavor on your tongue is different and exquisite. The tangy steak sauce. The tenderness of the sirloin. The juice that seeps through every bite. Ecstasy.
Imagine you had a mcdonald's mindset when going to Black Angus; "I HAVE TO EAT! THAT'S WHAT I'M SUPPOSE TO DO! MY BELLY SHOULD BE FULL!" You eat it, you don't enjoy it and it doesn't sit right at the end of the night.
Fu*king women should NOT treated as something just to f*ck. I say this because you cheat yourself out of an experience and when you do that you don't really know how to enjoy yourself. When you don't know how to enjoy yourself you get confused. The more confused you become the more confidence is lost. The more your confidence is lost, because you don't TRUST and ENJOY the situation, you go...limp. Women are an event, not a drive thru.
Also, ask yourself HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU JERKED OFF IN A DAY? You jerk for a few minutes and then find the strength to do it again 10 minutes later? Of course! Who hasn't actually jacked off 4 or 5 times in an hour!?
*raises hand* I have!:cheer:
Sure, maybe you lose a bit of testosterone, but you balls don't fall of do they? Do you grow little boobies every time you release by your own hand? No!
I'm not a genetic jackhammer and there have been times where I've jerked off right before a date. Not because I wanted to not think about sex (that only last a few minutes anyways) but because I was horny and I could. Later on in the night I had sex with my date two different times. On the date we enjoyed each other's conversation and later on in the night I genuinely enjoyed her body. I didn't treat her as a means to let my super soaker off in her. I didn't give her, in my head, the same purpose as a porno.
Two different events that should be treated differently.
Honestly, and I want the guys who are VERY experienced on this to help me out. Have you guys ever jerked off in the same day that you had sex with a girl? Did jerking off effect your performance? You have a beautiful, naked, wonderful smelling woman willing to do almost anything for you and you can't get it up?
A situation I was in a month or so ago I got sh!t drunk and had sex with a girl who was a former coworker of mine. Things were going well in the beginning of the night and we had a few good conversations. Made some jokes. Yadda yadda. When it came time (and I was plastered) I was perfectly erect. I came! We both enjoyed each other.
Don't get me wrong, sex was always on my mind the whole time, but I didn't have it in my head that's all that I needed! It wasn't the ONLY GOAL I had that night. I didn't need to be nervous because I already knew how to handle the situation when the time came.
The problem I think for a lot of you is that you dive into the situation head first, thinking maybe you're never going to get it again. This creates DOUBT in yourself and your abilities to function mentally AND as a PHYSICAL man.
If you're confident and patient and KNOW that sex will come, and when it does you will both enjoy it, you'll always be (Or will GET) HARD! HORNY! FULL ATTENTION! E-RECT. Hellooo.
Stop giving yourself the porno objective and treat a woman like a woman. Distinguish the two. Understand that they are for two different purposes. Stop being insecure. Most of all, and I think this is MOST important:
STOP RUSHING! Talk to her. Touch her all around. If it's not an intensely heated moment, go slow and bring yourselves in the mood. You can't start a run from lying down, right?
Pr0n isn't a problem. Watch as much as you want. The problems that a lot of you have will cease when you STOP blaming your lack of confidence and understanding on something that's just suppose to get you off..
...but jerking off to porn does NOT effect your sexual state when you're with a girl.
Here's the scenario and then the problem:
You're with a girl. You're inexperienced. To you she's still this wonderful magical creature that you're just lucky to be with. It's like you spotted a unicorn and before it had a chance to get away, you reach into your pocket for your POKEBALL and throw it at her, trapping her inside. This unicorn is unstable though. You don't know how long it'll stay in there. You want to use it to battle with other pokemon, but you're afraid it won't listen to your commands. The time comes for battle and you don't know how to control it.
Sorry for going off into the pokemon tangent, (I can't believe I compared girls to a Pikachu.) but you get the idea. Inexperienced guys have this idea that women are something that are rare and need to be caught. You drill this idea of what you're suppose to do in your head when you actually get one; A mechanical process starts.
"Hmmm Neg hits. CHECK!"
"Display higher value, CHECK!"
"be funny! ****Y! CHECK"
You do everything in the book right, but in actuality, ask yourself this: Are you really enjoying the female company? Or are you just trying to get laid?
I think the mistake many guys are making here is because they aren't COMFORTABLE enough with a female. I mean as in not just having a LUST after her, or the IDEA of lust that you're suppose to have.
"Ok, she's naked. I'm SUPPOSE to be horny! I'm suppose to be a man and be rock hard!" All the while not understanding that he should first be comfortable with a woman MENTALLY.
Good God, some of you I'm surprised don't even post about how much you enjoy the COMPANY of a feminine body around you. Just asking her what makes her feel good should be a turn on for you. Her willingness to spread her legs should be a turn on for you.
Porn isn't the problem. We see porn as we see a fast food resturant: Drive through, eat quick. You're full, but you still feel kinda..."eh." Afterwards. It hit the spot, but it's nothing like a thoughtfully prepared meal. Howabout when you go to Black Angus and have yourself a 25 dollar steak dinner? The food is AMAZING, but it's not just the food that's the experience.It's the atmosphere and the people you're with.
The problem might lie in that guys are treating women like McDonalds when they're actually Red Lobster. I'm not speaking to the guys who are TOTALLY sexually aware when it comes to women. I'm talking to guys who only look at ONE aspect of it: Get laid. You know what you're expecting from a fancy restaurant. You know you have a endless choice of options. You enjoy sitting at your table while starting with appetizers. You have a nice wine to start off with. You converse with friends or family for several minutes until your food is served. Hot and mouthwatering!
You enjoy every cut. Every bite. Every flavor on your tongue is different and exquisite. The tangy steak sauce. The tenderness of the sirloin. The juice that seeps through every bite. Ecstasy.
Imagine you had a mcdonald's mindset when going to Black Angus; "I HAVE TO EAT! THAT'S WHAT I'M SUPPOSE TO DO! MY BELLY SHOULD BE FULL!" You eat it, you don't enjoy it and it doesn't sit right at the end of the night.
Fu*king women should NOT treated as something just to f*ck. I say this because you cheat yourself out of an experience and when you do that you don't really know how to enjoy yourself. When you don't know how to enjoy yourself you get confused. The more confused you become the more confidence is lost. The more your confidence is lost, because you don't TRUST and ENJOY the situation, you go...limp. Women are an event, not a drive thru.
Also, ask yourself HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU JERKED OFF IN A DAY? You jerk for a few minutes and then find the strength to do it again 10 minutes later? Of course! Who hasn't actually jacked off 4 or 5 times in an hour!?
*raises hand* I have!:cheer:
Sure, maybe you lose a bit of testosterone, but you balls don't fall of do they? Do you grow little boobies every time you release by your own hand? No!
I'm not a genetic jackhammer and there have been times where I've jerked off right before a date. Not because I wanted to not think about sex (that only last a few minutes anyways) but because I was horny and I could. Later on in the night I had sex with my date two different times. On the date we enjoyed each other's conversation and later on in the night I genuinely enjoyed her body. I didn't treat her as a means to let my super soaker off in her. I didn't give her, in my head, the same purpose as a porno.
Two different events that should be treated differently.
Honestly, and I want the guys who are VERY experienced on this to help me out. Have you guys ever jerked off in the same day that you had sex with a girl? Did jerking off effect your performance? You have a beautiful, naked, wonderful smelling woman willing to do almost anything for you and you can't get it up?
A situation I was in a month or so ago I got sh!t drunk and had sex with a girl who was a former coworker of mine. Things were going well in the beginning of the night and we had a few good conversations. Made some jokes. Yadda yadda. When it came time (and I was plastered) I was perfectly erect. I came! We both enjoyed each other.
Don't get me wrong, sex was always on my mind the whole time, but I didn't have it in my head that's all that I needed! It wasn't the ONLY GOAL I had that night. I didn't need to be nervous because I already knew how to handle the situation when the time came.
The problem I think for a lot of you is that you dive into the situation head first, thinking maybe you're never going to get it again. This creates DOUBT in yourself and your abilities to function mentally AND as a PHYSICAL man.
If you're confident and patient and KNOW that sex will come, and when it does you will both enjoy it, you'll always be (Or will GET) HARD! HORNY! FULL ATTENTION! E-RECT. Hellooo.
Stop giving yourself the porno objective and treat a woman like a woman. Distinguish the two. Understand that they are for two different purposes. Stop being insecure. Most of all, and I think this is MOST important:
STOP RUSHING! Talk to her. Touch her all around. If it's not an intensely heated moment, go slow and bring yourselves in the mood. You can't start a run from lying down, right?
Pr0n isn't a problem. Watch as much as you want. The problems that a lot of you have will cease when you STOP blaming your lack of confidence and understanding on something that's just suppose to get you off..