JERK vs. MAN

[mb121]

We’ve heard the distinction between JERK and NICE GUY plenty of times but I’m curious if anyone has any good material on what distinguishes a jerk from a man. What I want to know SPECIFICALLY is what turns a girl OFF about a JERK.

Is it merely conscious? IE, is she attracted to a jerk subconsciously but consciously she just can’t stand him enough to stay with him? Or what…

 

[reset]

I think we are in such extremes that the rAFC only sees in black and white. If he's not an AFC then clearly he is the polar opposite, the jerk.

I think a man has the same abilities to handle women that the jerk has, except in the man's case, he actually has a healthy sense of self, which is attractive.

If the choice is between jerk and AFC the jerk will usually win, if the choice is between AFC and man, the man will usually win, and if the choice is between man and jerk, whoever is "chosen" will be based on the level of the girl's self-esteem, if she likes to be used and abused the jerk wins, if she just responds to masculinity and has a higher level of self esteem the man will win.

 

[WC2]

I think we are in such extremes that the rAFC only sees in black and white. If he's not an AFC then clearly he is the polar opposite, the jerk.

I think a man has the same abilities to handle women that the jerk has, except in the man's case, he actually has a healthy sense of self, which is attractive.

If the choice is between jerk and AFC the jerk will usually win, if the choice is between AFC and man, the man will usually win, and if the choice is between man and jerk, whoever is "chosen" will be based on the level of the girl's self-esteem, if she likes to be used and abused the jerk wins, if she just responds to masculinity and has a higher level of self esteem the man will win.

Now that's a very good assessment if I've ever seen one. Ironically, being your own person/man sometimes categorizes you as a jerk.

 

[caesar_ragsti]

I am pretty new too this forum, but i have been doing a bunch of reading lately, and i just so happened too be reading from the nice guy and Jerks, women page last night
http://www.sosuave.com/niceguys/women4.htm
and the general impression i get "Women in their 20's love the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the guy who treats them lousy"
"if a woman has a healthy approach towards life and herself, she will not get anywhere near a jerk"
"Once someone realizes their own worth, they will not stand for any mistreatment"
from what i have read and from what i understand is women seek acceptance and gratification except they don't want it freely given too them, they want too work for it.
Once they are older and more confident in themselves they no longer seek acceptance or gratification, i don't really know why. I think they kinda just know what they are looking for once they are 30ish

This being my first post, i wouldn't mind some feedback


cheers

 

[reset]

Ironically, being your own person/man sometimes categorizes you as a jerk.

This is true, and so be it. My motto is to never deliberately harm another, to intentionally hurt someone's feelings, or to cheat them out of something.

Everything else is up for grabs. Women LIKE when you ACT like a jerk, and give them a hard time, and bust their balls, and even discipline them. Let's face it, they act up and need a strong man to put them in their place. And to do that in a semi-serious/semi-teasing way, short circuits their wiring because they are seeing your caring side and your dominant side sometimes at the same time and it will freak them out and make them obsess over you.

So you have to make the distinction in your own mind on what constitutes "jerk behavior". Right now I'm learning what that is myself.

 

[(JJ)]

good stuff reset

 

[Ripper]

Now that's a very good assessment if I've ever seen one. Ironically, being your own person/man sometimes categorizes you as a jerk.

Aw man this can be such a ***** sometimes. Right now, I'm holding this girl to account for some pretty awful behaviour (stealing my $80 panama hat and then throwing it away to be trampled/crushed so it's of no use) and all she can do is keep saying how much of a wanker I am.

 

[JackPrescott]

This is true, and so be it. My motto is to never deliberately harm another, to intentionally hurt someone's feelings, or to cheat them out of something.

Everything else is up for grabs. Women LIKE when you ACT like a jerk, and give them a hard time, and bust their balls, and even discipline them. Let's face it, they act up and need a strong man to put them in their place. And to do that in a semi-serious/semi-teasing way, short circuits their wiring because they are seeing your caring side and your dominant side sometimes at the same time and it will freak them out and make them obsess over you.

So you have to make the distinction in your own mind on what constitutes "jerk behavior". Right now I'm learning what that is myself.

Great post. You need to let them know how sexy you find them, while at the same time, let them know that you are pursuing other women sexually. Teasing and taunting, and the rest is all fine and well, as long as they know you have other prospects.

 

[Damian]

After inadvertently sabotaging a few of my own relationships, I've learned the line between Jerk and Man.

A Jerk is blindly confident in himself. He doesn't see anybody else eye-to-eye and doesn't regard other people's opinions or emotions. He thinks nobody deserves his respect. He's jaded and disillusioned. He can't see past his own ego. A jerk is deceptive and will do whatever it takes to get what he needs. He relies heavily on cracking jokes because he does not have confidence that his own intellect will get him anywhere.

A MAN is confident, but also aware. He respects the people around him as well as himself. He understands other people's emotions and takes their opinions into serious consideration. He can take criticism and improve himself without being emotionally hurt. He can apologize without feeling his own ego get bruised. He is genuine and honest while also being playful and humorous. He is respected, adored, and loved. He might not know what to say all the time, but he isn't afraid to push the boundaries.

In short: A real man respects and is respectable.