Jealousy

[DaneB]

I love and trust my girlfriend. There are guys that hit on her all the time. If I know the guy, but he is still flirting with her, I tell her later that I don't like the situation. I tell her I know that she loves me and that I trust her, but guys shouldn't be hitting on her with me around. Lately, there is another guy that I'm somewhat wary about. He is married, but has a history of infidelity. I don't trust the guy and I told her this in hopes of her keeping her guard up. I don't want to come off as a jealous jerk, but at the same time I think guys should respect the fact that she's mine. Each time I bring up something (it's only been with two different guys in the past seven months), I make sure to do so in a logical manner. Do you guys think that I'm going about this the right way? Or do you think that it is something that should be more unspoken?

 

[connor32]

showing that your concerned maybe interpreted by her as weakness.my gut says never show any type of jealousy to your girl. as far as people you know flirting with her.....if they are touching her....i would get the guy alone and tell him "keep your fvcking hands off my girl."

 

[ready123]

being objective is always good but if you're making her feel like it's her fault, it's the wrong way to do things. any decent looking girl is gonna get hit on regularly. how you react to it subcommunicates a lot about you

there's a good kind of jealousy that shows you care but if she fvcks up she's gonna lose you. it's up to her

some guys go beyond that and become psycho jealous controlling boyfriends, which just reeks of insecurity

some guys go the other way and come across apathetic, kill attraction, and lose the girl

 

[PeeGee]

The latter just happened to my friend.

You need to have a middle ground between trusting/not worrying about her and making a stand when it counts. You say that guys hit on her when you're around? Mark your territory but don't be a psychopath about it. If she's by herself, don't worry as much because 1) it's good for girls to indulge in the feeling they are still attractive and 2) if she wants to cheat/leave you for another guy, you can't really stop her from doing it.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

What did she say when you talked to her about it? Did she say something to comfort you? Was she like yeah whatever? Does she just feel flattered that guys think she is attractive and just likes the attention?

Don't worry about and don't express your emotions about it. If you suspect she might be more interested in some other guy than you. Then, you can start wondering.