Jealousy working against me

[legolas]

Well I've had it.

I was on a trip with a group from school last weekend and was really hoping I could get close to some of the girls there. There was one in particular who I was drawn to a bit and wanted to talk to her for a while.

Well it turned out that she was seeing another guy from the group whom I hadn't met before. Wouldn't you know it but I got jealuos as I sensed my options being taken away from me without my intervention I think it was this loss of options coupled with my initial interest that sparked jealousy on my part. I kept my cool, but was brewing on the inside. Of course it didn't help that this dude was a ****head and a big jerk (don't they always get the girls?)

Later on I managed to calm myself down but not before I wasted hours thinking of how I could turn things around. In restrospect, I think that all these things intensified my attraction towards her without her having to do anything other than what a girl with a boyfriend does to a guy friend, which is act nice a friendly, etc. Geez, didn't I learn anything in this forum?

 

[Borgon]

Its all about inside game. You are the great catch, always remember that. Next time dont let it get to you, and just have a good time. They will notice that you are a better person to be around in time.

 

[legolas]

Yup that's what I figured after a couple of days. I will use her as inspiration, as many guys here have used girls who dumped them, to improve myself. Just had to write that frustration out.

I also noticed that jealousy is fueled by the perception of loss of options plus the perception of competition. This is an interesting dynamic to use in one's favor. The times when jealousy hasn't worked, either there was no perceived competition or there was no perception of loss of options which means that you had no value in that person's mind or both.

 

[joekerr31]

you get jealous when you let a woman define your value, which leads to you thinking internally "Why him and not me?!"

this is a silly way to think.

why him? why not him? he picked her up when she was available, no big deal. doesn't say or mean a f*cking thing about you.

also, one thing thats good to remember with regards to jealousy.... if he was THAT great or she was THAT great, or they were THAT great together, they'd be married.

so all you can really know about this is that she isn't an option right now.

no biggy, on to the next.
J

 

[legolas]

Yeah, thanks to this group after a while I started wondering "Is she really worth it??" So this place had done it's job but not fully. I guess is temporary oneitis, T.O. LOL :crackup:

 

[TheTrimReaper]

I read in a Tony Robbins book about transformative vocabulary. He said to change from using the word 'Jealous' to 'Overloving'. That puts a funny perspective on the whole emotion, doesn't it?