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Jealousy from Hobbies - Video Games

00Kevin

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How do you guys deal with a girl that becomes jealous/controlling over your hobbies?

Lets say for example you spend a few hours a week with your hobbies. In my case, it's playing video games that makes my girl jealous. In fact, she has said to me that she is fighting for my attention with the computer. The xbox/computer is in the middle of our relationship. I really only spend about 6-8 hours a week playing games or reading about games. That really isn't a lot of time and sometimes I rarely get that much time in at all. It really isn't enough time for her to call it an addiction like she has.

At this point, things have come to an impasse. The other day I took a few extra days off for my vacation. That night I told her that there would be a few days when I would be at home and she would be at work. Personally, I was looking forward to this time and I planned to relax alone. Oddly enough, she wasn't too happy about that prospect and I couldn't figure out why.

When the time came I did exactly as I had planned and spent the entire day playing Skyrim. When I told her what I did, she became very upset with me and told me that I was addicted to the computer. Needless to say, I stayed calm and told her to relax. To make matters worse, I was sick that day with a cold, so obviously I had nothing better to do than to sit and do nothing. In one way I'm glad that I was sick because I'm sure that she would have jumped on me allot harder for not doing something else that she considered to be more productive. At this point, it's obvious to me that she is very controlling. :trouble:

What this girl can't fathom is that I'm perfectly happy being by myself and I don't need her to have a good time. At the same time I really don't want the added stress of her jealous and controlling behavior.

Thus far I have considered this behavior to be her problem and not mine. I don't let it bother me, but I really don't want to deal with the added stress/bull****.

What the best advice here? Should I tell her to suck it up even if she cries?

On this very topic, I've read several threads on the net about this issue and all of them have replies from women who claim that the guy isn't providing enough attention to her. In other words these women would advise that I pay the toll to enjoy my hobbies. :rolleyes:
 

Boilermaker

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pfff I don't know how to deal with it.

This is a subtle sh!t test and irrational attention seeking behavior.

If she insists, sit down with her and tell her it's your life and your right to stimulate yourself with video games as long as you can still function in social life. Your times are sounding very healthy to me, and she couldn't be more wrong when she calls it an addiction. Stand your ground and it'll go away. Seems like you are too mellow and she comes after you although she's the one being selfish.

On a second note, my girl bought The Uncharted Series and Fallout New Vegas for Christmas for me :) I guess I am luckier hehe
 

StormScar

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I'll be harsh, but I don't care because many people need to hear the truth this way to fully understand how real it is.

Your girlfriend is a ***** and an ******* because she doesn't understand video games is one of your few passions, and that she is not the ****ing light of your life, and she should not be like a god you pray to the whole day.

This type of women, sadly is quite common. Once they are with you, they become possesive *****es and try to take away everything from you, until the only 'good' thing of your life becomes her. Therefore, you also become very terrified of the idea of losing her, and become kind of 'addicted' to her.

Yes, what I've said might appear a bit too radical, and you might think I am interpreting too much, but if what you've described is accurate, I think I am correct. Once again, I did not mean to insult you, but just to try to open your eyes and help you because cases of such relationships are awful, and one of the main reasons why I hate relationships as well.

I've always said, live your life with no regrets. Being oppresed by your gf in this way, with her trying to control you, is slowly ruining your life. Imagine how she would become in 5-10 years, if you guys were to get married. I don't even see why you guys are still together, because this relationship is going nowhere.
 

00Kevin

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@StormScar

No need to worry about being too harsh with me. I fully expect that when posting here. :)

Truly it's not worth the effort for me to become irritable over this.

She has a perception that playing games is something that younger guys and children do. Of course, I reminded her that the average age of the video gamer is 35.

Heck this perception is very common I recall a conversation a few of my coworkers were having about video games. A few women who walked by wanted to know what they were talking about and when they realized that the conversation was about video games, they responded with the term "Man Children".
 
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perseverance

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I work full time, 40 hours a week, so I very rarely get time to indulge in hobbies. My two hobbies at the moment seem to be playing video games and outdoor running, both of which I do twice a week for an hour or so each.

I'd consider 6-8 hours spent on a games console to be a lot of time, but ultimately it is your decision just how much time you spend video gaming.

Your girlfriend sounds like a moron, a controlling and possessive moron and for those reasons, if I was you, I'd give her the boot into orbit. If you were spending every waking moment of your time playing video games, setting up your own youtube channel and spending hours making "Let's play" game walkthroughs and game commentaries then I could understand her frustration. The fact that you played Skyrim (a sublime game) for a few hours on your day off work while you were in the dumps with a cold is not a valid reason for her to get uptight.

You had better be careful because there's numerous videos of girls smashing up their boyfriends consoles because they feel threatened that they aren't able to get their man's attention. :crackup:
 

heroshima

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I don't think she's a lost cause just because of this. Lots of chicks pull these kinds of sh!t tests. Part of the problem is that she is not appreciating the time you do spend with her.

I agree with Boilermaker. I'd sit her down and have a stern talk with her. Keep it short and to the point. Don't get drawn into her emotional stuff or let her steer the conversation in a combative direction. Tell her that you expect her to respect your time and your hobbies and be done with it.

If it continues after that I would suggest that you give her a little alone time to reconsider. Then see if she has a different attitude.
 

Bible_Belt

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Does she not have hobbies? Girlfriends? A smartphone with facebook that she is always glued to? Chick TV shows you hate?

I suspect that she expects you to provide 100% of the entertainment in her life, and thus any time you spend on the xbox must be time stolen from her. She needs to have some sort of a life away from you, and it sounds like she doesn't. Whether it's being out with friends, or something like a separate TV that is all hers, she needs fun time away from you. Tell her that, but phrase it all in the form of some Dr Phil talk about maintaining a healthy relationship.
 

pdx1138

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WTF?!?!?

What you do with your "me time" is none of her concern.

I'd dump any girl that chastised me for what I do on my time. Think of how awful it would be if you two actually lived together.
 

Upside

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perseverance said:
I work full time, 40 hours a week, so I very rarely get time to indulge in hobbies. My two hobbies at the moment seem to be playing video games and outdoor running, both of which I do twice a week for an hour or so each.

I'd consider 6-8 hours spent on a games console to be a lot of time, but ultimately it is your decision just how much time you spend video gaming.

Your girlfriend sounds like a moron, a controlling and possessive moron and for those reasons, if I was you, I'd give her the boot into orbit. If you were spending every waking moment of your time playing video games, setting up your own youtube channel and spending hours making "Let's play" game walkthroughs and game commentaries then I could understand her frustration. The fact that you played Skyrim (a sublime game) for a few hours on your day off work while you were in the dumps with a cold is not a valid reason for her to get uptight.

You had better be careful because there's numerous videos of girls smashing up their boyfriends consoles because they feel threatened that they aren't able to get their man's attention. :crackup:
I wouldn't consider one hour a day to be too time consuming. It's when you are pushing 4+ plus on a regular basis that can be worrisome.

I don't really know your girl, but to me it seems she finds the idea of video games stupid and juvenile. What she doesn't understand probably is that this is your way of unwinding. And what would she rather have...your hands on a controller for a few hours a week or on another woman?
 

roman81

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Dude i think that your girl is controlling cos she is insecure and i think that her behaviour would be the same if you weren't playing ps3 and concentrated on other hobbies. I'm not telling you to bin her, but rather stand your ground with out argument. It is how it is and that's that, downplay the issue but don't be dismissive either. It's your time, it's your life.
 

GameTime76

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Talk to her about it. Tell her its a hobbie and something you like to do time to time. If she cant understand that she is INFLEXABLE. Which means she will always try to get her way and never go along with your ideas.

Keep your eyes open. Video Games could be the first sign of more complaining to come. If not, she is just gonna have to deal with it. If she cant deal with it, her interest level is low and you should find another girl.
 

Victory Unlimited

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It's always shocking when guys first realize that there are SOME women out there who WILL NOT REST until they have successfully removed EVERYTHING from a man's life that takes away his attention from THEM.
 

lluzhin

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First off, playing a video game is not a hobby, it's voluntary stasis.

The main thing that's annoying her is that, in her view, indulging in video games indicates an inherent paucity of ambition and drive in your character.

The best thing to do is ignore her and continue playing, pointing out that you don't resent her for watching reality shows/reading People/other stupid **** that girls busy themselves with.
 
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perseverance

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You do realise that people play video games for living don't you?

Video gaming is a passion for a lot people, it's a hobby and for some people it's their job.
 

typical

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Just wait till she has a go at you for going to gym too much or spending too much playing the piano or guitar, thats when you bail and find a new chick as the chick you're with just wants a love sick puppy she can abuse and discard once she's bored of him.
 

Desdinova

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Lets say for example you spend a few hours a week with your hobbies. In my case, it's playing video games that makes my girl jealous. In fact, she has said to me that she is fighting for my attention with the computer. The xbox/computer is in the middle of our relationship. I really only spend about 6-8 hours a week playing games or reading about games.

Video games are not a hobby, they're a passtime just like watching television or reading. I'm going to take your gf's side on this one. Why? Because my ex-wife and my previous fiancee were video game addicts.

First of all, I have to ask why are you playing video games in her company when you KNOW she's not into it? Play them on your own time. That's like me inviting my gf over for a date and spending the day doing maintenance on my truck. Unless she's agreed to 'keep me company' while I do it, she's going to sit there bored as hell. It's rude to plan a day with her and then do something for your own self-indulgence.

My ex-wife opted for spending time playing her playstation as well as going to her moms to play online RPGs (due to a faster internet connection) instead of spending time with her husband and her son. She was never home, and when she was, she had that damn game controller in her hands.

My first fiance was the same way. No word of a lie, the woman would spend 24 hours straight playing a video game. She didn't care if she had to work the next day, she would go 36 hours with no sleep just to get time in with her game. Then she'd go to sleep for two days, get up, turn the playstation on, and it would start all over again.

Whenever I encounter a potential prospect who says she loves playing video games, she gets an immediate NEXT. I have no tolerance for that 5hit anymore.

Do the both of you a favor and remove yourself from the console when you spend time with her.
 

lluzhin

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perseverance said:
You do realise that people play video games for living don't you?

Video gaming is a passion for a lot people, it's a hobby and for some people it's their job.
"People get paid for it" and "Lots of people do it" in no way address or contest my points.

I have a former coworker who would spend 4 hours a day playing FarmVille. Tending to virtual crops. That's pretty lame, right?

But, really, how far removed is that from Madden on XBox?
 

Burroughs

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00Kevin said:
@StormScar

No need to worry about being too harsh with me. I fully expect that when posting here. :)

Truly it's not worth the effort for me to become irritable over this.

She has a perception that playing games is something that younger guys and children do. Of course, I reminded her that the average age of the video gamer is 35.

Heck this perception is very common I recall a conversation a few of my coworkers were having about video games. A few women who walked by wanted to know what they were talking about and when they realized that the conversation was about video games, they responded with the term "Man Children".
your girl is simply trying to leverage her own insecurity into a blunt object she can use to hammer you with.

Modern women are possessive 12 year old brats...they have neither the ability nor will to become full fledged women...their memes are control and badger. that is what mtv tells them they should do so they follow.

Women don't believe MEN HAVE ANY OTHER DUTY THAN TO PLEASE THEM AT ALL TIMES FINANCIALLY AND EMOTIONALLY WHILE RECEIVING NOTHING IN RETURN...

In the modern day, A man's happiness means NOTHING to a woman.

I would tell her to shut up, cook you a steak and get ready to be azzfvcked later that night :)
 
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perseverance

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lluzhin said:
"People get paid for it" and "Lots of people do it" in no way address or contest my points.

I have a former coworker who would spend 4 hours a day playing FarmVille. Tending to virtual crops. That's pretty lame, right?

But, really, how far removed is that from Madden on XBox?
I play video games for a few hours a week, usually on one of my days off from work.

If a woman has a problem with this, then she is free to leave on her own accord. Now, if this fella was spending every waking moment playing video games, I could well understand her frustration with him. However, he has stipulated that he plays games on his day off when she is at work. It's not like he has her sat in front of his television while he spends hours gaming is it?

She is a controlling person and because she doesn't approve of video gaming, she doesn't want her boyfriend playing video games.

Like it or not, video gaming is a hobby to some and a passion to some as well, just because it isn't to you, doesn't make it a non-hobby.
 

Aaron B

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Personally, I would tell her its none of her business and if she doesn't like it she can lump it.

I'd tell her I don't go around harassing her about how much time she spends on hair and makeup, shopping, gossiping, etc.

I'd finish with "I'll be playing my video games either way. The only question now is will it be YOU here with me while I play, or will it be some other girl? So if you want to stay with me I suggest you shut the fck up and find someone else to harass."

Brute force is the only thing these b1tches understand. They can't be reasoned with in an easy-going fashion.

How much time per week does she spend watching tv?

P.S. Women cry tens of thousands of times in their lives. Its simply not a big deal if she cries.
 
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