Jealous BF. I can't catch a break.

[abcd_z]

I don't have a car, so I use the bus system where I live. I met a fairly attractive barely legal young woman. We vibed, I asked open-ended questions about herself which she struggled to answer, I was playfully impudent (my variant of C+F), but nothing set off any alarm bells. I got her number, got off the bus, and 10 minutes later I got a phone call from a jealous BF, telling me to leave her alone, and that I should tell him where I live so he could kick my ass.

Yeah, no.


Anyhow, drama ensued, the police were called over, and (I'm not making this up) his *mother* got involved.

I'm not above looking at myself to see if I'm causing something wrong, but with the number of times I've come off too strong or creepy or miscalibrated in the past, I've become VERY sensitive to that possibility. I just didn't see it in this interaction.

The worst part? The entire interaction was non-sexual. Lord only knows what would have happened if I'd tried anything sexual. I'd probably be in jail right now for god-knows-what trumped up charges.

This is the second time I've had jealous BFs threaten me over young women I've met on the bus. And since it's happened more than once, I'm concerned that there is a pattern to these events. Here's what they have in common:

Me (obviously)
Young woman distorting (or omitting parts of) the situation so it looks like I'm the bad guy.
A jackass boyfriend or self-proclaimed "white knight" ready and willing to kick my ass.


Obviously, since the BF knows about me, the woman in question lacks discretion, so HARD NEXT. The problem, though, lies in the fact that I may one day get my ass kicked by the jealous protector BEFORE I find out that she let him know about me, and obviously I don't want that. So I'm throwing the problem out to you guys:

Why does this keep happening to me?

 

[COD]

you refuse to hide your digits.........

You keep hitting on chics that are not single

you are saying something lame/offensive

you dont know how to keeps it on the down low

 

[Hughman]

Don't give your number out. Learn a martial art. Problem solved if there was one, or you may just be unlucky, young hot women are likely to have a guy in their lives.
Unless you are actually a creep, then you need a wingman around to give you feedback and you need to improve your game. But if you were creepy, asking for a number would have given you the 'I have a bf' response surely?

 

[abcd_z]

Hughman:
Like I said, I'm very sensitive to potential creepiness on my part, having been socially miscalibrated for a large portion of my life. I just didn't see it there.

Not giving my number out won't help things, because as soon as I contact her, she has my number. That's the point of the interaction: move things forward and maintain contact.

COD: There was nothing offensive in the conversation. Just (as noted above) vibing, open-ended questions, and playful impudence.

Besides, I *want* to keep it on the down-low. It's these chicks who tell their BFs about me. Drama ensues.

 

[Hughman]

Hughman:
Like I said, I'm very sensitive to potential creepiness on my part, having been socially miscalibrated for a large portion of my life. I just didn't see it there.

Not giving my number out won't help things, because as soon as I contact her, she has my number. That's the point of the interaction: move things forward and maintain contact.

COD: There was nothing offensive in the conversation. Just (as noted above) vibing, open-ended questions, and playful impudence.

Besides, I *want* to keep it on the down-low. It's these chicks who tell their BFs about me. Drama ensues.

It's only two chicks. You got unlucky. Just keep trying. Probe for possible boyfriends by asking what they do for fun. My cold approach number close rate is at 75%, getting first date at about 33% from that. About another third of numbers given just fizzle out or i get the bf card. Another third flake.

 

[EnjoysWatches]

Learn to fight and thrash the next guy?
Lol but whats your success rate off the bus besides those 2 incidents?

 

[The Bat]

Wait a second, we're all missing the obvious common factor here:

the bus system.

I'm not kidding either. Maybe the type of young women who ride these bus typically have a BF and are less likely to reveal that to you when you chat them up first.

Or maybe it's something in your conversation you are saying that's setting off the creep alarm in these girls.

Has this ever happened to you anywhere else outside the bus? Club, school, store, church, etc.?

 

[ready123]

no wonder she's giving out her #... he got his mom involved lol

and you did nothing wrong during the sarge. I wonder what you did after though that the cops got involved. All you had to say was "I thought she was single so it's not my fault" and hangup

 

[DonJuan11]

- I met a fairly attractive barely legal young woman.
- I asked open-ended questions about herself which she struggled to answer
- I was playfully impudent
- I got her number
- 10 minutes later I got a phone call from a jealous BF, telling me to leave her alone, and that I should tell him where I live so he could kick my ass.
- the police were called over, and his *mother* got involved.
- number of times I've come off too strong or creepy
- since it's happened more than once, I'm concerned that there is a pattern to these events.

Why does this keep happening to me?

If you look at the parts that are in bold, you are very very lucky you weren't arrested and thrown jail.

I love how you omit all the conversation you had with the girl.

 

[abcd_z]

Ready123:
Since I wouldn't tell him where I live, he threatened to call the police and claim I followed her home and raped her. I immediately hung up and called 911, who came over. Fortunately, the second time he called up I had the presence of mind to record the conversation, in which he admitted I didn't do anything besides "being a creeper". Covered my ass quite nicely, but I'm looking to avoid these situations before they start.

DonJuan111:
I'm not entirely sure what you're getting at here. Yes, I had been very creepy several years ago. It took a long time and several setbacks, but I'm no longer that person. Because of my history though, I'm more sensitive to the possibility of my being "creepy" than the average person would be. If I had sensed that in any way, I would have cut things off immediately.
Additionally, I'm not sure how I could be thrown in jail for getting someone's number, especially since I didn't do anything wrong from a moral or social (or even legal) standpoint. Could you please clarify?

 

[ready123]

Honestly, there's little you could have done to avoid it besides qualifying her relationship status and deliberately avoiding girls that are taken. You cannot control other people, you can only deal with situations as they arise

If the dude is getting all emotional, getting his mom involved and threatening to lie to the cops about rape, you know the guy has low self-esteem and insecurities about his relationship. GF is probably embarassed. Adding friction to low self-esteem= giving yourself drama. Best thing to do is just hang up and go on with your life. More sht you talk, the more reason you give him to call you back tomorrow and bother you some more. And if he's really stupid enough to lie to the cops, let him do it. Most cops would be able to see right through him