jblitz59's jammin 'juvenatin' journal

[Jblitz59]

I got out of a 4 month relationship and now we are going open style.
the problem is now... I am AFC.:crazy:
AFC again wtf.

I don't understand how I have become so inept with conversations and girls. I can't even approach as I will tell you out of fear.

I only get smirks and smiles from girls.. and all I find myself doing is smiling back.... then walk away kicking myself mentally with each step. the 3 second rule I need to heavily work on.. and also how to make conversations where I don't make myself look retarded etc..

so I dedicate this thread to get back at crazy womanizer heartbreaker self... except even better.

 

[Jblitz59]

Now I have plenty of problems I need to fix....

I don't have my mojo.
I don't use kino.
I don't have my abs.
I weigh around 148 pounds at 5'9 + 3/4's so I want to gain 5-10 pounds in muscle

I get nervous when surrounded by hot girls.. or just say things that immediately put me in the friendzone

I am attractive but only enough to get HB 5's or 6's without trying..(really a waste when I could be getting better)

i feel my voice is too timid (it doesn't command respect like some mens)

 

[Jblitz59]

Thursday

I was in a good mood today so I figured after I dropped off my brother at his new job at the mall... why not go riding solo at the hot spot?

It all felt so awkward. I don't have the friends at my hometown that I used to now that i live in college.. so during the summer I work and.. work. maybe see my girl for several days (she lives around college).

So social status-wise I feel like a loser walking around just trying to have fun by himself..

I came across this cute HB 6.5 and smirked at her..she made eyecontact with my shirt first I found after ("I know you want me" with Stewie on it).. then she looked at my eyes and smirked into a smile.... I kept walking

Spot a sexy girl in a group HB 7.5 looked younger than me (19) like maybe 17 or 18 but damn she had a nice set . We walked by each other and I just didn't know what to say

walked by a girl with a bright blue short haired wig who was pretty HB 8. she stood in front of some Aid to foreign poor children so I felt guilty about just wanting to talk to her and not donating money... she looked 23ish and had a beautiful smile. i know this because she donated it to me when I smiled by her..
I bet we were both kicking ourselves for not talking to each other. she wants donaters I want to flirt and have fun.

saw a cute girl I went to highschool with, afro curls but cute and had some personality. I hesitate because she was so out of the way of my way out to my car.. I was afraid of rejection

next I had a HB 8.2 with a great! ass walk by me in the parking lot she was going in me going out.. didn't approach X) stupid me.

I really hope I can fight this cuz It drives me crazy not even TRYING
good luck to you guys

 

[Jblitz59]

****.. I feel so low right now.
I work at the theaters so I get free movie passes. Called up people no one answered so I decided to take some family. My sister and my mom.

So it is 6:55 the movie starts at 7:10 and I get in the car ready to go and I tell my mom we're going now or being 5 minutes late. They don't take me seriously and get ready for 5 minutes before getting in the car. (my mom put up a fuss that I was driving and finally got in the backseat)

I am getting stressed out. I drive up to a 2 street intersection to take a left turn. I see no incoming cars... so i go halfway on the intersection.
both my mom and sister scream at me for not stopping at the intersection they are really annoying me.
see no incoming cars and take my full left turn.
they both say how mom should have just drove because I am not doing a good job.

lol so we come to a 2nd left turn and I said WATCH. looks to left. NO CARS. so I will inch out until I get before this yellow line (blocking the road yes but making a faster left turn)....
they scream at me again and are making me nervous so I say "Do you want me to turn around right now????!??" and they laugh at me and call me a dad.

so I resist the urge to turn around because I feel like seeing the other guys

I drive to the movies and my sister keeps pointing at the movie theaters (where I work) to make sure I take the left at the lights..
"I know where to take the turn into my work"

I drive quickly further aaaround the parking lot to find a spot.
MOM: you're driving fast (no **** we're late to a movie)
ME: Do you see anyone remotely close to me?

They tell me to go ahead and grab the tickets
Get inside the cinema to grab tickets and then they perk up. They get all smily and cracking jokes and fun. while I am left in the stressed out mood..

movies good
(tina was texting so I had to tell her to cut the **** since I work here and I am responsible for my free guests)

after movie I come home and tell my mom I won't bring them to the movies again after they disrespected me like they did..

she tells me that I cant use her car. explain it to my dad and he buds out. i try finishing it and my mom interrupts and interrupts what I say..
finally I am so frustrated she lets me talkk


then my other sister comes in complaining about her shoe and my mom turns her head to listen to her...

I snap and say "no wonder skippy is thinking about divorcing you.. if I was married to you i would divorce you in a heartbeat."

see why I feel so low? 'cuz I got some problems with my mom I have to work out
maybe fix my voice since apparently it doesn't carry attention or speak commands well.
or she needs to learn to stop being a rude *****

frustrated,
hope your nights have been better than mine .

 

[Jblitz59]

I fell down hard yesterday. today I stood up and faced reality.

went to work at 3 until 11 and had an interesting conversation with a girl.

she is 17. I am 19 and work as a concession attendant (sell popcorn candy and soda at ridiculously high prices). she is a group leader (she is in charge of me)

so that says a lot because she is an alpha female. now we got into a conversation about what types of guys shes into and the alpha female told me
-guys who are not clingy
-men who aren't phased by the things going around them

before that we were talking about a date she had with someone at work it went something like this...
1st date:
guy takes her to an expensive place and pays 30 dollars for the two of them not including the tip
guy LAUGHS at every joke she says even the super lame ones (she adds this was so obvious that he liked her more than she liked him)
afc guy had been the one who pulled the chair back for her and pushed it in.
afc guy tries to open the door for HB7 but it is locked and looks stupid

afc guy ONLY has dinner with the girl.... nothing else that is remotely fun.
takes her home and complains
AFC: what i dont even get a hug?
HB7: oh.. uhm ok? *gives hug* (he is only a friend so it doesn't matter )

wow...


men what do you think?

anywayz, I also kino'd with this cute HB7.6 who has a bf lol
she always pokes me when she walks by and she LOVES touching me.
when i reached over to get a drink she surprised ME by fully grabbing my side and rubbing it like to tickle me.

so I wasn't going to let this one go.. we got talking about HS and then football and she told me how she is playing (cute i thought she weighs 100 i bet it is a girls league)
GIRL:I'm going to be a RB or maybe a FB, you know? just hoping i dont get hurt too much from the guys.
ME: .. (lol)

later on..
ME: *throws some ice at cute girl*
ME:you just need to learn to absorb blows if you are a RB *smile*
HER: *smiles* lol shutup

then I kept teasing her until we came on the topic of tackling (yesss you know where this is going)

so behind the counter at the movie theater concessions (it just us 2)
HER:i know how to tackle.. you need to grab onto their hips thenn HUG your body on them
ME: HAHA you mean cling to them like a rabid raccoon?!?.. that doesn't work the best.
HER: lol but then i keep pushing forward!
ME: you need to tackle this way *wraps my arms around her hips* ..then you slip down to the legs and twist your body
alpha female comes up: you guys just keep finding excuses to touch each other


hehe so?

anyways, fun kino and interesting conversation with a woman thats 17.
i don't plan to do much else with the cute girl cuz she is jailbait. i heard she is 17 or 16 idk. on top of her dating a guy. i don't plan on anything more than flirting with her.

still good practice .

hope you all had an even better night then I did

 

[Jblitz59]

I wish so bad I stuck with this site! ah well, thats why... i am back

man so much has happened between the time I posted here and now

I fell away since I was busy with umass and engineering homework. XD

Now, I know tht when people write super thick stories it is annoying so I will try to sum up if I were to write diary entries all into one..

got back with the 4MO relationship during college , we slept together every other night, went occasionally to the mall/friendlys for a meal, had sex once every other 2 weeks>>> 1/month because she would feel burning? it felt good for me just not her. (idk lol she was weird, I offered giving her help she always denied. your loss :yes: ), she made up excuses not to have sex, my birthday came no b-day sex. just a one day later belated bj. bull**** excuses again.

so in my head I formed a due date, I decided by the 6th of March if she just doesn't act sexual to me or gives in and the sex is bad once again..... I break it indefinitely.

on that day I get this, and I quote:

Yes. I would love to have sex with you. Im just trying not to think about sex when im shopping its not fun to be horny and shopping.

For that and a couple other reasons (she had orbiters who were ex material, did not treat me with respect, arguments) it happened.



Cant wait to "Jinkaku kansei ni, tsutomoro koto", seek perfection of character.
I do karate since I feel like defending myself to the point of just reflex.

I ALSO feel like startup-ing a company but thats another story.

Back to k-rahtea... It was my dream
I had a dream where I was in a sardine-packed stadium and I was the event. . . . only I did not know. I discovered by announcement of the jumbotron, in horror in front of thousands, that I would have to box against a leviathan man. I marched to the elevated rink and once the bell rung weakly punched frankenstein in the body. he did not flinch. I kept punching him frustrated and spewing out lefts and right jabs/hooks. he laughed is that all you got?
so my dream made me realize......... I need to defend myself better

when I first mentioned i wanted to do a martial arts to HB7, she shot me down saying that she 'could not ever see me doing something like that'. but it felt beautiful just going to trainings and such instead of losing a part of myself! (i highly recommend joining a club :woo: )

 

[Jblitz59]

asian HB 5 +1 for personality

Cute girl, with a cute button nose and a bright white smile. I have never met a girl with such in common with me. she is horny as hell and loves to talk sex.
(at my 20th bday party she asked us questions about how often we masturbate etc., she is so fun)

so after I :kick: 'd HB7 and had a tough week of midterms I invited HB 6 over for drinks and fun.
I let her know to expect me like doing stuff but indirectly said that it will be just us.
So I met her at this movie night in my building unexpectedly and brought her up to my room. (My hilarious stoner roommate was out doing ****)
Meanwhile I kino-ed her every few minutes with shoulder/butt bumps, took up space like some jackass and just flirted

When we walked up to my room, I turned on mario kart and said
Me: let's play hardcore
HB6: okay why not?
Me: rules are 1st and 8th drinks (xD)
HB6: why not just whoever wins
Me: Naw, that would be too simple. plus this makes us try mediocre ... on 150cc (that is pretty damn hard even on teh 1st cup)
HB6: lol fine

So we played mario kart. not only did we play, everytime she was 7th place near the finish line I would button mash her n64 controller and just mkae her get 8th. hahah Imma gonna' win . I kept smacking HB6 if she went ahead of me and had fun

we were pretty trashed afterwards on peppermint snapps, so goooood
Me: Hey do you know what would make you a crazy girl?
HB6: what?
Me: let's watch some porn
HB6: lol idc..
Me: okay

so we watched porno, she did not have any preference so I downloaded some big butt & funny pron

it was incredibly fun and chill watching porn like this,
she would sometimes comment on like how she would just put a bag over that girls head. XD or say things like my she has such a pretty butt, I can't stopp looking at it

we were close at this point on my couch in my dorm room, watching big butt porn using my roomies HDMI cord lol
Me: let's have an eye-staring contest
Hb6: *looks into my eyes*
Me: *tempted to kiss but chickens out*
Hb6: I lose damn! lol

she is such a cute asian, personality wise. I could date a girl like this

so my man urges kick in and i looked at the time, 11:30PM... my roomie would be back soon. all or nothing

Me: hey
Hb6: yeah?
Me: *locks lips with hers*
Hb6: ! *makes out*

and there we were, hooked up with her and the rest is boring. we got up to only 2nd base because my roomie came in soon after

yeah so that was my fun story before spring break..

I ended up not doing much else all weekedn. I went to the movies and saw kings speech, and I went to dinner to some place with the familly. good old family time (haven't seen the folks in 3 months i wonder what is a normal time range people dont see their family)


I plan on networkin tomorrow night in beantown, I am just looking to have fun, and potentially get a sweet job over the summer break.

need one since I ambitiously desire to get an apartment with 3 other people..
(one of those people is my ex gf who i broke it off. i feel like just being friends with her, since no point in losing a nearly 2 yo relationship. could bite me in the ass later) and i need one to pay for rent each month