Jake update

[logic1]

This is a follow up to the thread of "Meeting an AFC". This is playing out in front of me and most of the information I get is from my LTR talking in the course of the day.

If you have a GF and the GF has a GF who is single and dating you hear about the men she is meeting. Hence, the 3rd hand info.

I find it interesting in that everything this man is doing is not how a DJ would act. Just the opposite of what this site teaches. It also caused a small riff with LTR. Explain later.

Some background info.

Jake, I don't know about him. Kind of a stranger. Comes across as impatient and or desperate. Divorced

Lisa, still married, in process of divorce. The house she is staying at is a friend giving her someplace to stay. No job, no car. She claims abuse from husband. Married for less than a year. Recieves $1200.00 a month from to be ex- husband. It all smells? Playing victim?

Ok, Here is the update. According to LTR talking to be talking.

Jake called Lisa most of the week with the results being a date on Friday night. Jake showed up with roses, jewelry, and cash to help pay her phone bill because of the 4 hour cell phone convos with Jake. Jake also offered to move her in with him because of her situation. This all took place on the first official date. I dont know if he boned her?

This is where I'm indirectly affected by Jakes actions. The small riff. LTR is upset and wants to know why I didn't shower her with cash and prizes? Like Jake did with Lisa. I blew it off by saying there are many Jake's out there and I would help her find one if that is what she wanted. My guess is that's not what you want. I was met with silence. And then she was on to other subjects. Crisis over.

They had another date Saturday and LTR and myself briefly met up with them. Lisa seemed very attracted to him and it looked fine on the surface. Some of what Jake told me confirmed what I heard from LTR.

So, here we have a man who got the woman he wanted by doing everything the opposite of what is preached here.

I know this whole situation is not normal. But what is going to happen? I think Jake has good intentions but is going to get burned by acting the way he is. I think Lisa is a manipulator. She will take advantage of his AFC ways.

But for now it looks like heaven.

Comment if you like.

 

[bish0p]

Yeah, it's strange and not to hijack your thread, but I recently experienced something similar. I had a conversation with my ex last week who told me that she is now with a guy who is different from me because he does everything she wants. She says that he is dedicated to her and that this is what she wanted.

Now, she is 11 years older than me, so she is ready to settle down and maybe wants provider type guy. So, this may play a large part in what's happening with her.

On the other hand, she also stated that her feelings for me never changed (even though she rejected me after a 1.5 year LTR) and that she is not in love with this new guy. Perhaps in your situation, the age variable may play a large factor in her decision to date this guy. His persistence probably makes her feel special and unique...I don't know.

My mind is confused nowadays thinking about stuff like this...mostly due to my recent experience and bad break up. I think the game is played differently when you are going after a LTR. LTR's (especially in regards to marriage) seem to be more about rationalizing and logic for women, whereas as one night stands and sexual attraction seem to be based more off of emotion.

 

[LeftyLoosey]

Yeah, it's strange and not to hijack your thread, but I recently experienced something similar. I had a conversation with my ex last week who told me that she is now with a guy who is different from me because he does everything she wants. She says that he is dedicated to her and that this is what she wanted.

Now, she is 11 years older than me, so she is ready to settle down and maybe wants provider type guy. So, this may play a large part in what's happening with her.

On the other hand, she also stated that her feelings for me never changed (even though she rejected me after a 1.5 year LTR) and that she is not in love with this new guy. Perhaps in your situation, the age variable may play a large factor in her decision to date this guy. His persistence probably makes her feel special and unique...I don't know.

My mind is confused nowadays thinking about stuff like this...mostly due to my recent experience and bad break up. I think the game is played differently when you are going after a LTR. LTR's (especially in regards to marriage) seem to be more about rationalizing and logic for women, whereas as one night stands and sexual attraction seem to be based more off of emotion.

Sorry dude, but a tiger can't change its stripes. LTRs and ONSs are all based on the same rules. The OP's situation is simply that of a woman taking advantage of someone for their $$$. She's clearly a gold-digger/victim type as described by the OP.

Once you see the tumbling green code, it all makes sense.

 

[jophil28]

LTR is upset and wants to know why I didn't shower her with cash and prizes? Like Jake did with Lisa. I blew it off by saying there are many Jake's out there and I would help her find one if that is what she wanted. My guess is that's not what you want. I was met with silence. And then she was on to other subjects. Crisis over.

Noted how she threw a test at you and you dismantled it. Nice.

There are many ways to entice women to go out with you. Jake is using the "find a need and fill it " method and hopes that his generosity will draw her closer to him. IT may, for a while, and as long as she has financial needs.
However he is not building attraction in her at the level which is sustainable -the emotional level . He is merely setting himself up to be exploited .

A curious thing - note how those women who have a $$ generous man in their life are quick to point out that they are not "in love " with him, but continue to date the guy (sometimes for years) .

Let's reverse the situation, Suppose that you had a woman, to whom you were only mildly attracted, who was willing and eager to come over to your house twice a week, clean the place up, do your laundry,vacuum your car, rub your back and give you a BJ.
Would you tell her to go away ?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Jophil,
you certainly think out of the square..."Let's reverse the situation, Suppose that you had a woman, to whom you were only mildly attracted, who was willing and eager to come over to your house twice a week, clean the place up, do your laundry,vacuum your car, rub your back and give you a BJ.
Would you tell her to go away ?"....Mate I dream of such a Girl,can you give us a few leads please?.....Interesting that Girls like Lisa dine out with their mates,on stories of the generosity of their benefactors,seems they gain a lot of credit this way.

 

[jonwon]

"Lisa, still married, in process of divorce. The house she is staying at is a friend giving her someplace to stay. No job, no car. She claims abuse from husband. Married for less than a year. Recieves $1200.00 a month from to be ex- husband. It all smells? Playing victim"?


You wonder why she would like a guy who pays for everything?!

I think it is pritty clear. The confusion you have is due to your current GF seeing a women given preferential treatment - but little does your GF accept (being a woman and all) - That this womans relationship will probably go the same way as the marriage and in all fairness, it's not a good way to start a relationship - slotting yourself into provider guy frame from the off-set.

Regardless of what these women want, the friend and the GF it is about what you want and personnally - I wouldn't like walking into a relationship, where by I state in LARGE - I am here to pay for you no matter what.

Also, Jake is a chump, sorry but there it is - which looser gives a women money for a phone bill - like he is privilaged she even spoke to him for that length of time?! She is a women I would put money down right now she has spent far more time than that on the phone to her friends daily - Women love to talk -

He is setting himself up for an as*raping, much like the Ex husband seems to have been -

All she needs is a few chumps like this and she will be set of life - She is like a female pimp. Yes women will think it is great - one man already funding her life in parts and another willing to jump at the chance - It goes back to the princess mentality.

Maybe they will be happy and have it great - but it's not going to be happiness 'you' can imagine, if anything he will be an ignorant emasculated pus*y, who shouts to all to hear how happy he is with his knight in white - ways.

Also remember these types of relationships - when the money goes or the financies get tough - the women leaves too.


"wants to know why I didn't shower her with cash and prizes"

Response:

"You know that's interesting, I was wondering the same thing, my last GF bought me tons of stuff, I miss that"

 

[squirrels]

Wow.

Just....wow.

He PAID HER PHONE BILL??

Dude, any woman who wouldn't feel overwhelmed and slightly uncomfortable when a guy PAID HER PHONE BILL on the first date is either an air-head or a cunning manipulator.

I'd be concerned that your LTR is even friends with this girl. You made the right move offering to find her a "Jake", if that's what she really wants.

LOL...we should start calling desperate supplicating chumps "Jakes" from now on. If your wing starts buying drinks for girls all night, you can tell him, "Stop being a Jake, man."

 

[logic1]

Wow.

Just....wow.

He PAID HER PHONE BILL??

Dude, any woman who wouldn't feel overwhelmed and slightly uncomfortable when a guy PAID HER PHONE BILL on the first date is either an air-head or a cunning manipulator.

I'd be concerned that your LTR is even friends with this girl. You made the right move offering to find her a "Jake", if that's what she really wants.

LOL...we should start calling desperate supplicating chumps "Jakes" from now on. If your wing starts buying drinks for girls all night, you can tell him, "Stop being a Jake, man."

Yes,

Im trying to figure out which one is the manipulator. My very first reaction to this was to say "tell Lisa to be careful". But as you said what type of woman would allow a man to do this........The manipulator?

As I hear bits and pieces, the dynamics keep changing. Also something you mentioned is happening. LTR is starting to question some of the stuff going on. Like, I dont understand what Lisa is doing. I just say I dont know and keep my ears open.

 

[zekko]

We are all apalled at this guy, and deservedly so. But if we are going to try to see the good in people, I'll say this for him, this is where he's succeeding. At least he knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go after it.

Still, paying the phone bill....

 

[squirrels]

Still, paying the phone bill....

Probably so she has no excuse not to answer the 50 calls he makes to her a day. :crackup:

 

[Mr.Positive]

. Also something you mentioned is happening. LTR is starting to question some of the stuff going on. Like, I dont understand what Lisa is doing. I just say I dont know and keep my ears open.

Exactly, don't do or change a thing, keep your ears and more importantly, your eyes open to how your GF acts. Jake's actually doing you a favour, he's created a test your GF needs to pass.

May we all be so lucky to have a Jake to Thank, on occassion.

 

[logic1]

Update 2 and probably final one.

Well guys, everything went down in a ball of flames. 3-4 weeks of infatuation. All history.

After watching and listening to this soap opera I was intrigued to see who was playing who. In the end I think both were but Jake was way over the edge with the nice guy stuff and most likely scared Lisa away. In the beginning she was eating up the attention and thought Jake hung the moon. It didnt take very long for her to change her attitude.

Interesting event occured before this fling crashed. It caused some friction with LTR and myself. But this event told me Jake was the biggest chump I ever encountered. I think I handled it right. It threw me off. Like WTF!

Jake and Lisa presented my LTR with a piece of jewelry. It was purchased by Jake. They said it was because LTR was the reason they met!! If it wasn't for her they would not have met. Kriss sakes, WTF! I was speechless. I did not know how to act or what to say. Jake's nice guy tentacles have now infiltrated my relationship. At first it did affect LTR because of the... why cant you be like Jake thinking.

Her reaction was....I dont know why but it feels good. I think she knew something was not right but loved the emotions with it. She asked me about it and I was indifferent about it ( but fuming inside) but said this is not normal and it will show up in the future. And never said anything else. Except it was pretty.

Move forward a week and Jakes makes me look like a hero in LTR'S eyes. And I think more of her because she did not fall (completely) for the charade.

According to LTR Jake pressured Lisa to the point where she finally seen the light. And he is trying to keep her from getting away. I see this going to extremes.

 

[PokerStar]

Let's reverse the situation, Suppose that you had a woman, to whom you were only mildly attracted, who was willing and eager to come over to your house twice a week, clean the place up, do your laundry,vacuum your car, rub your back and give you a BJ.
Would you tell her to go away ?

thast all fine and dandy
untill i find someone who im very attracted to who is willing to do all that fine stuff for me.