TheWayOfAllFlesh
Senior Don Juan
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I blame my diet, but it's still a symptom I can relate tooBible_Belt said:
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I've Worked Out Why I'm Such A Fail
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You are what you think about. Think positive thoughts and you'll begin to FEEL better.
As Michael Losier says, if you feel bad ask yourself 'what do you want'. Think about what you want. If you don't know then thats part of your problem. Think about it.
As Michael Losier says, if you feel bad ask yourself 'what do you want'. Think about what you want. If you don't know then thats part of your problem. Think about it.
TheWayOfAllFlesh
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I know what I want..I want a girlfriend. Have done for the past 5 years...slaog said:You are what you think about. Think positive thoughts and you'll begin to FEEL better.
As Michael Losier says, if you feel bad ask yourself 'what do you want'. Think about what you want. If you don't know then thats part of your problem. Think about it.
But there's no point me thinking positive thoughts if other people are thinking negative thoughts about me
TheWayOfAllFlesh said:
Everybody has a vibe. You give off a negative vibe and people pick up on that. So its not YOU thats the problem its the vibe YOU give off. So the problem is you don't like yourself.
Change yourself and others will see you differently.
When you think about having a girlfriend I bet you think of it negatively ie thinking that people automatically dislike you. Thats illogical thinking. You need to reprogram your thinking. Start by looking at things logically.
You havn't worked out why you're a fail you've just worked out the symtoms.
TheWayOfAllFlesh
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I'm a fail because i'm desperate for a girlfriend. I'm a fail because my hair is a disgrace and is receding at the age of 19 which is abysmal. I'm a fail because all the people I hang around with has had sex and I have not. I'm an even bigger fail for letting the fact that they have and I have not get to me. I'm a fail for thinking I look bad when other's simply don;t give a **** what I look like. I'm a fail for understanding that you get hurt less by rejection than what if, but still never try. I'm a fail because I'm too scared to seize what I truly want for fear of what others may think of me.slaog said:
And that my son. Is a small percentage of the reasons why I fail
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
TheWayOfAllFlesh said:
I told you why you fail.
You've just listed numerous negative thoughts about yourself and you have many more in mind. Ever hear the saying 'you get what you focus on'? Well thats true.
Heres what you can do now. List out all the good things about yourself and the good things in your life.
TheWayOfAllFlesh
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So I don't have a crippling sense of loneliness in the evenings and so I can lose my virginityKing Turi said:
Proselytiser
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It's all in your thinking... I'm sure some of the divorced men on this forum experience that same 'loneliness' as you but call it 'refreshing independence'.
TheWayOfAllFlesh
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You only have the right to call it independence if you are freed from something, i.e a relationshipProselytiser said:
I never have had anything to be free from, so I can't claim said independence like these man can, as Ive not had the fun they have
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Trust me, when you're 19, all these little things seem like a bigger deal thanthey actually are. See a doc, but please don't let them put you on any damn medication. Don't get drugged up before you've had a chance to live. You're 19 and you should be out partying and making friends, so just go and do that. The girls and the sex will come along soon enough once you stop obsessing. You are putting waaaaayyyyyyy to much emphasis on "failures". Just chill out man...honestly.TheWayOfAllFlesh said:
You better just get over this shiit quick....in the real world no one gives a shiit how you feel and your just making it worse by crying about it and wallowing in your "misery". Your on the internet so it's pretty much a fact that you are more fortunate than most of the worlds population, You dont have to go to bed hungry, your young and youre free to do pretty much whatever you want so what the hell are you so depressed about? Wake Up and stop whining dude MAKE A CHANGE in your life
Dude, your only 19? Jeez, your not a fail because you don't have a girlfriend and are still a virgin. Lots of guys are virgins at your age. I'm 6 years older than you, am a virgin, but I don't think I'm a fail because of it. In fact, despite being depressed, I don't think I'm a fail at all. Though it sucks that your hair is receding.
Hell I was a virgin at 19 and never thought of myself as a failure. Then again I saw a lot of people growing up with kids or drama and was glad to avoid most of it.
You are only what you think you are. If you think you're a failure then you probably are. If you think you're a winner then you probably are.
What is good about you? write as much about that as you did about what's wrong. I bet you won't, but if you do you will be taking a step in the right direction. Let's see what kind of man you really are.
You are only what you think you are. If you think you're a failure then you probably are. If you think you're a winner then you probably are.
What is good about you? write as much about that as you did about what's wrong. I bet you won't, but if you do you will be taking a step in the right direction. Let's see what kind of man you really are.
TheWayOfAllFlesh
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Good things.Warrior74 said:
I have a 5 year education/career plan I have laid out for myself
I learn an instrument in my spare time for MY pleasure, not for attention
I am top of my class in what I study, and if i give it 100% rather than around 70%ish I could really go places
In a forced social situation i.e new college class, I can make friends quickly and easily
I know that if I was to go up to a girl I could do well AND walk away with her number, dunno what's stopping me though
My hair can look decent on the right day
I have a couple of close friends who have been good to put up with me
Ok that felt good to list those for a start, but the good feeling will be gone later on
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
bigjohnson
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TheWayOfAllFlesh said:
What sort of resources do you have at your disposal?
Derek Flint
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Start eating a healthy diet.
Go to the Gym and start exercising.
Volunteer at an animal shelter or do something to help others.
Get your ass out of the house even if you don't feel like it.
You're in a rut and you need to change your routine.
Go to the Gym and start exercising.
Volunteer at an animal shelter or do something to help others.
Get your ass out of the house even if you don't feel like it.
You're in a rut and you need to change your routine.
TheWayOfAllFlesh said:
Of course it did. Its the opposite to what you have been doing.
Focus on the positives as much as possible. List more positive things and start reading them out a couple of times daily. That'll start to shift your focus from the negative things you think about and you'll begin to feel better.
About the hair, well theres millions of people in the world who have far worse problems then that. In any case its irrelevant. It only becomes relevant if you let it effect you.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.