I made a thread earlier asking about just being lazy and paying for sex for now, and later when I'm not so lazy trying to have a relationship. And how to deal with a future gf finding out, or whether not to just tell her upfront and get it out of the way.
Well I've gone to a couple of escort services since then. And I have to say I really don't see the appeal of going to all the effort you guys do in order to deal with women in any setting that doesn't involve intercourse (relationships, hanging out, etc). I paid, I got what I wanted, I played with her body, got off, and went home. No socializing. No dealing with "tests" from women. No psychological chess game where she makes this move, you make that move, etc. No having to make any changes or improvements to myself in order to get women to do what I want. Yes she got my money, but everything after that was on MY terms. She was there to do what I WANTED.
I've decided that I want a relationship on MY terms, or not at all. My OneItis isn't bothering me anymore, so I have no reason to care about raising my value in anyone's eyes. I can just be my lazy, self-absorbed, passive, no social life having (and not caring about having one), staying home and surfing the internet self.
Yeah I know for a while, I talked like I was interested in learning all the seduction ways, how to be a DJ and all that. It was because my OneItis had really fvcked up my head and my way of thinking. Now I believe that my OneItis getting on my mind again was just a side effect of an antidepressant I was on, giving me obsessive thoughts. And I took it to mean that I still cared about her enough to make an effort to make anyone happy other than myself.
And that's not the kind of person I want to be. I'm naturally a person who doesn't talk of "meaning" in life with any seriousness. Tony Robbins said it best when he said we don't REALLY want to be, have, or do such-n-such, we just want the FEELINGS in our nervous systems we think those things will cause for us. I've come to think of us as just nervous systems walking around, looking for pleasant stimulation and looking to avoid unpleasant stimulation. Life has no more meaning than that. Try to feel good and try not to feel bad, for its own sake.
And I'm a person who naturally wants to avoid anything unpleasant as much as humanly possible. Avoid as much as possible those experiences that cause unpleasant chemical reactions in my nervous system. And hope there is no afterlife so I can never have to experience anything ever again. I would in a heartbeat give up ever feeling anything again, just to avoid feeling anything unpleasant ever again.
So I respect your choices to pursue the DJ way of life. But its more effort than I'm willing to put into anything. I have very little dating experience, but from what I hear on tv, from what I read here and from hearing dating stories from guys I've known, women give "sh!t tests", to see if you're "worthy" of her. You guys may enjoy that challenge, and if you do more power to you. I don't like challenges. I like things as easy and convenient as possible.
So let me just say thank you to those members who tried to help and give advice. As it turns out, it wasn't needed. But hopefully some other AFCs read your advice and it helped them. I don't even consider myself an AFC anymore because to be "Frustrated", you have to try. And as long as there are prostitutes, I don't have to try anymore.
