I've hit a low

[The LadyKiller]

Most of the time, I feel good about myself. I like my job, I work out and keep myself in shape, and I seem to get along with most people I meet. Despite these positives, I am in the midst of a big dry spell. Today, I realized it's probably not ending anytime soon.

I've made a couple of posts about a HB I'm interested in. She displayed some obvious IOIs, but was moving things very slowly dating-wise. I spoke with her about it this week, she said she doesn't date co-workers and hasn't gone out much period. Excuse or not, I have to assume nothing is happening anytime soon. My other plates have gone cold, so I don't have many options either.

Meanwhile, my friends have gotten lucky recently, compounding the problem. One friend is good with ONS's, but turns into a total AFC when it comes to girls he likes. My other friend took my advice on talking to girls and has had a good month, though he usually needs alcohol to make it work. I'm happy for them, but frustrated that I can't get lucky once.

I'm not tall - 5'7" or 5'8", but I am in great physical shape (I don't consider myself unattractive as a result). I'm outgoing, generally not afraid of things, and my friends view me as a leader due to my calm, cool and collected nature when making decisions.

There's no point in asking what I might be doing wrong, but are there any quick ways to turn it around? I hate getting used solely for attention and getting led on. My confidence is sinking because the cycle has been repeating itself. Everyone else around me can find a needle in the haystack. I can't.

 

[thatfeel]

A quick way would be to temporarily lower your standards. As for comparing yourself to your friends or others; don't do it, as there is no point. Be yourself and love who you are.

 

[The LadyKiller]

I'm the same height and meet most of your criteria although I usually have a girlfriend. I have had several dry spells like yours. The main cause is being too busy, so that your competing desires to have female company while also focusing primarily on work usually prevent you from approaching as often as you should. And when you do approach, you do it in clubs, where you are not at your best due to height and being out of practice there is a killer.

Social circle game is your best bet, followed by day game. If you focus on that you will see much better results. Add in some C+F. When I hear "calm cool and collected" I think boring, and so do women. Trying to make them laugh is the best gauge of their IL as well as best way to raise IL in the moment.

Exactly right regarding the work and "club" situation. While I'm calm, I bust balls a lot, tease people all the time. The calm, cool and collected is when it comes to decision-making or handling conflict.

A quick way would be to temporarily lower your standards. As for comparing yourself to your friends or others; don't do it, as there is no point.

I get what you mean. My standards aren't way too high, but I don't want to go after grenades either. You're right about my friends, but it does creep into my mind.

 

[apprenticedj]

I'm with thatfeel on this one. Lower your standards TEMPORARILY and break the dry spell. Now I'm not advocating grabbing the first nasty bar skank you see but a 5 or 6 can really help get you over the hump. Also I would say do some online dating, ample volume of skanks on there so you should be smashing something soon enough.

About that HB at work, DROP HER. If she's dragging her feet start spinning plates. Chances are she isn't really too interested but if she is she'll get in gear a little faster when you start telling her about that awesome date you had last weekend.

 

[dajinn]

I'm with thatfeel on this one. Lower your standards TEMPORARILY and break the dry spell. Now I'm not advocating grabbing the first nasty bar skank you see but a 5 or 6 can really help get you over the hump. Also I would say do some online dating, ample volume of skanks on there so you should be smashing something soon enough.

About that HB at work, DROP HER. If she's dragging her feet start spinning plates. Chances are she isn't really too interested but if she is she'll get in gear a little faster when you start telling her about that awesome date you had last weekend.

Yep, and as PHM would say, get your balls out of her court and into others and you'll quickly find out where you stand with her. Actually what he'd probably say is if it's a real job then fvck that sh!t.

 

[Jack89]

Hb at work sounds boring, I agree to lower standards by 1 or 2 just to give you some flow.

 

[The LadyKiller]

Good advice guys, I like it.

I'm with thatfeel on this one. Lower your standards TEMPORARILY and break the dry spell. Now I'm not advocating grabbing the first nasty bar skank you see but a 5 or 6 can really help get you over the hump. Also I would say do some online dating, ample volume of skanks on there so you should be smashing something soon enough.

I re-activated my online dating account and sent out messages. Will see how many - if any - respond. If some do, it's go time.

About that HB at work, DROP HER. If she's dragging her feet start spinning plates. Chances are she isn't really too interested but if she is she'll get in gear a little faster when you start telling her about that awesome date you had last weekend.

Dropping her might be the best option. We were actually really close before today, to the point that there APPEARED to be shared feelings between HB and I. After I cut the bs and we discussed the truth, she's gone silent. I acted like nothing had changed today, which seemed to irritate HB even more. Our mutual friend (very aware of the situation) got roped in thanks to HB, and she (the friend) told me I'm doing all the right things.

Sorry to go off on the tangent, it was a strange evening. But if I can get other plates spinning and subtly telling HB about going on these dates, she might change her tune. Maybe. But I'm prioritizing other girls now.

 

[Bible_Belt]

My other friend took my advice on talking to girls and has had a good month, though he usually needs alcohol to make it work.

Do you not drink? Alcohol works because it's fun. And fun gets pvssy. You don't have to drink, but at least recognize what makes it work. You don't sound like you are having a very good time in your interactions, and I think that is what is keeping you from getting laid.

 

[The LadyKiller]

Do you not drink? Alcohol works because it's fun. And fun gets pvssy. You don't have to drink, but at least recognize what makes it work. You don't sound like you are having a very good time in your interactions, and I think that is what is keeping you from getting laid.

I drink, but due to a medical condition, I can't get myself "drunk." Therefore, I'm usually less intoxicated that most. My friend usually has to be drunk for these hook-ups to work, he remembers very little the next day.

 

[Lord Hypnos]

You're not doing anything 'wrong', and there's nothing 'wrong' with you. I'm assuming you're in your early 20's. For guys your age, the scales are heavily tipped against you in the dating market. For an in depth analysis of why this is so, check out 'Cheateau Heartiste' blog.

Just keep working out, focus on your job and hobbies. When it comes to b1tches, you need to realize that being in shape, having a good job, being tall, all that stuff doesn't really matter. The only thing that matters is how their vaginas feel when they are in your presence. You need to have that certain 'something' that allows you to stand out from the pack.

I would suggest, that next time you meet a chick, try to move away from your comfort zone. Try to move things along faster than you normally would, and forget about the word 'rejection'.

 

[Trump]

I've made a couple of posts about a HB I'm interested in. She displayed some obvious IOIs, but was moving things very slowly dating-wise. I spoke with her about it this week, she said she doesn't date co-workers and hasn't gone out much period. Excuse or not, I have to assume nothing is happening anytime soon. My other plates have gone cold, so I don't have many options either.

Meanwhile, my friends have gotten lucky recently, compounding the problem. One friend is good with ONS's, but turns into a total AFC when it comes to girls he likes. My other friend took my advice on talking to girls and has had a good month, though he usually needs alcohol to make it work. I'm happy for them, but frustrated that I can't get lucky once.

Couple of issues here bro.

1. You should not be dating coworkers under any circumstances. Spin plates elsewhere
2. You shouldn't tell a girl you want to have sex with "things are moving very slowly for you". That means: I have no other options or girls that will have sex with me.
3. Friends are using their good fortune against you. Don't listen to them, follow them, of give a f about them.

I would say you're too focused on having sex. Sex with girls is just one thing to do. Make it fun and enjoyable for a few hours, and then get back to work. If you start thinking otherwise you'll be screwed.

 

[The LadyKiller]

I'm in bold.

1. You should not be dating coworkers under any circumstances. Spin plates elsewhere
This is an age-old discussion. I know the risks and consequences. Due to my setting, this doesn't bother me.
2. You shouldn't tell a girl you want to have sex with "things are moving very slowly for you". That means: I have no other options or girls that will have sex with me.
Looking for a relationship with her, not (only) sex. She was moving very slowly on dating. Kept saying she wants to go out, but it wouldn't happen oftentimes. I didn't want her giving me the runaround.
3. Friends are using their good fortune against you. Don't listen to them, follow them, of give a f about them.
To each their own. They're not trying to hurt me.

 

[thatfeel]

Looking for a relationship with her is the wrong place to start. Focus on sex first, the relationship will follow if you play your cards right. Don't be a chump.

 

[Lotus Effect]

^^^This sh!t is right!

Read it over and over again, until it get's deep rooted in yor soul!

 

[thatfeel]

Noobology is a butt hurt faggot that didn't get the advice he wanted over trying to seduce a chick that already has a boyfriend that he down voted my post.