*sneeze* What the... wait a s... who's the DJ there???
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I see sound posts...
In your post, you mentioned a lot of things...but you never mentioned things like "we dated," "she seems interested in me romantically" or "she told me she loves me" or anything that suggest a romantic relationship. The only thing you mentioned was that she looked like she was having fun hanging out with you. I have fun hanging out with my friends. It doesn't mean I'm dating them all. Neither do I demand all my friends to present their girlfriends to me for approval.
The point is that she has a choice. She may enjoy your company but her not dating you isn't meant to be an insult to you. Most likely, it simply means she's not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. She doesn't and shouldn't need your approval when it comes to who she chooses to date.
From what I've read, she wasn't going out with you. To her, YOU=FRIEND. Kissing someone else doesn't make her a jerk. She's allowed to have friends AND date. Just reading the seething things you're saying about her here makes you look like more of a bad guy than a true friend. I'm sure that after you treated her so "wonderfully" she would be pretty shocked to see you berating her in a public forum. Talk about cold-hearted and self-serving.
My guess is you saw her, liked her, and did everything in your power to wriggle your way into her life. It got you friendship and nothing more. That's nothing to be ashamed of, and you weren't a failure. A good friend is quite valuable, and just because it didn't work out the way you wanted doesn't mean you should throw her aside. That makes it look like you were using her time in the hope of fulfilling some desperate need rather than looking for someone to spend quality time with...and that's pretty unfortunate.
So I'm with the rest in saying "get over it".
Being a "bad-ass" or "jerk" gets you nothing but shallow fly-by-night relationships. Now simply being a confident person...that's something that can forge much stronger bonds.
IMO there are two types of "nice guys."
There are the self-professed nice guys. The guys who go on and on about how nice they are but only do nice things to get something in return. They throw pity parties, lack spines and blame everything else if things don't go their way. In the world of a nice guy, they can't be wrong. They're nice. So therefore, they conclude, nice guys finish last. Nevermind that maybe it's their fault that they can't get a date. It's so much more easier to blame a woman for that.
Then there are guys who are kind, considerate, and fun to hang out with. They're caring, decent guys and unlike the self professed nice guys, don't go whining about how it's everyone else's fault that things don't go their way.
No, you jus think that they're jerks. Time to catch up with reality, if everyone who said they were a nice guy really was, they'd be dating these girls, not the so colled jerks. These jerks just look like jerks to you because they're dating.
maybe these "jerks" get all the luck because they're more confident than the "nice guys"
I wish I had a nickel for every "Nice Guy" I've heard cry about how women don't judge them by their intelligence and personality...and then go ahead and judge a woman by her looks alone, completely ignoring HER intelligence and personality.
I've know far too many nice guys who aren't submissive and are happily married now, including my father who's been happily married for 37 years. Most were smart enough to go for nice girls who also don't try to be overbearing and walk all over them.
Kyupol: From what I've read, this chick just wasn't interested in you. Move on.
Why does it bother you that she showed interest in someone else? Does she owe you attention now because you feel you're a nice kind of guy? Is she not allowed to pick who she wants to be with? Oh how dare she show interest in someone you don't approve!
When one is genuinely doing nice things, they don't do it because they expect something in return. They do it because they want to.
If you go to her, listen to her problems, help her with her chores, you know what you are? You're her ****ing sister! You're not even her brother, man. If you don't treat her like you plan on being romantically involved, then you will. not. become. romantically. involved. You're twisting her by her emotions in a cheap attempt to get her to screw you. You are the jerk. Deal with it.
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and then I see AFC rantings
- Was kind... was considerate... cared alot bout her... did everything for her... listened to her... looked like she was havin fun hanging out with me... as in she meant the entire damn world to me. as in I'd kill or die for her... I think I'm kinda decent too. I don't do drugs or go around killing and shooting people or putting down others. I respected people...
AND YET SHE DECIDED TO HURT ME AND THEN SHOW INTEREST TOWARD SOME LOSER WHO DOESN'T GIVE A SHlT ABOUT HER AT ALL!!! THAT WAS LIKE A SLAP ON THE FACE!!!
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If you are Kyupul, than buddy, you are not the DJ there. Honestly, let's take an objective look at the following quotes.
You actually have to admit to the other person that you have feelings for them.
This is true in LTRs. You expect to have an LTR and never give them even a slight hint of how you feel about them? Sorry kid, the rules change in LTRs. The focus gets less on following every technique to a T, and the connection between you and your girl takes precedence. In other words, it becomes MINDSET OVER TECHNIQUE. Which it should be to start with.
90% of the girls I know who are dating somebody are dating them because they are a fun, nice guy.
This is true. Think of how you were as a "nice guy". Were you fun? NO, you were manipulative and cowardly. When someone is genuinely nice, genuinely fun, and CONFIDENT, they will succeed. When they're a manipulative misogynist, who is going to like them? By genuinely nice I mean nice because they like to be nice, not because they think it will make chicks fall all over you.
[SIZE=+1]Bottom line. If you present yourself as merely a friend, THAT IS ALL YOU WILL BE.[/SIZE] If you present yourself as MORE than a friend and don't hide your intent, you will be looked at in terms other than simple friendship. And you better do that in a confident, masculine way. As the man, the take charge guy, the confident guy who goes and gets what he wants, not as some supplicating AFC.
