I've had a girlfriend for a year. I'm getting lazy. I need advice from married guys.

[Vice]

After a few short months of me actually getting a strategy and schedule to go out and meet girls, I closed the hottest girl I had ever been with. I decided to keep her around and focus on my business.

The thing is, there's so much time wasted on silly, irrelevant things. I can't focus much. She always wants to "do something" during the day when I'm home. When I should be following up on leads, I'm goofing off with her.

I think I spend too much time with her. She's working now, but I have to drive her to work because she doesn't have a car.

The plan is to hold on to her until the end of December, and break things off under the concept of not being allowed a roommate at my new school.

Do any married guys or guys with live in girlfriends have any advice for me? She's such a time sap, I wish we lived separately so I could have time to myself. And women are so messy; my room that we share is constantly cluttered with clothes on the floor and papers on the desk.

 

[TheException]

Do any married guys or guys with live in girlfriends have any advice for me?

Ya...dont live with your girlfriend. I would only move in once i got engaged.

The thing is, there's so much time wasted on silly, irrelevant things. I can't focus much. She always wants to "do something" during the day when I'm home. When I should be following up on leads, I'm goofing off with her.

This^ is on you. You by no means are forced to hang out with her or goof off. A simple "I cant. Im working" will do you wonders.

The plan is to hold on to her until the end of December, and break things off under the concept of not being allowed a roommate at my new school.

Stupid. What are you five? If your going to break up just do it. "This relationship is not for me". Over with. I also dont get why guys like to assign deadlines to breakups. It doesnt make sense. If your not happy now, why wait. Just do it if your going to do it.

 

[Cremasta]

I think I spend too much time with her.

Have to admit, this is what jumped out at me. Doesn't sound too good.

You need to set some limits regarding your time. For example, you let her know that 9 to 5, Monday to Friday is work time and you won't be available to just go and do things.
I'd also mention to her that it's likely that your business will get busier and there'll be times when she won't be able to rely on you being a taxi. I.e. she should get her own car now that she's working.

The fact that she always wants to do something with you is a really good sign, and if you can sort out some of these boundaries and get her to clean up her crap, then you've found yourself a good one.

Good luck

 

[BeDJ]

I lived with my GF from 20-24 so I can give you some experience with pointers after re-learning Game.

Quick update:

Been seeing the girl that I met a few months ago. She's a keeper; cleans, can cook, tall, goregous, and a total b*tch to other guys. She's also got a passion for dance/gymnastics/theater.

I'll assume this is the same girl.

Coming from the service where organization is emphasized, the mess seems like her doing. Over time in a live-in relationship, the comfort level will easily allow for messiness. It is very good you realize this now and it is HER ROLE to clean and cook. The moment YOU start doing these activities, the LESS she will do them. It does not stop at 50/50 either. Your role is to fix, build and maintain.

Your girl seemed like the more traditional type we all seek. However, once she got comfortable with you, she either showed her true colors or you allowed her to fade away from her roles. With the latter situation, she is TOO comfortable in the relationship, which translate into not holding the same level of respect for you in the beginning. Once this happens, you have to mentality take the relationship back to square one. Unleashing everything at once will not work. You have to subtly inject anxiety, dread, devaluation etc. over time. She can revert back to her traditional roles, but it's hard work. I failed to do that in my live-in LTR and she took my kindness for stupidity.

It was a good experience that I wouldn't go through again.

 

[Vice]

She moved 14 hours away from where she lived in another state that I was previously working in, so a breakup would be difficult and drawn out.

My local area is kind of dry in terms of girls, and I'd rather focus my attention on making money and flaunting her around for the next few months to get the other girls jealous before I move.

Whenever I'm angry at her, I can tell that she's fearful of my disapproval. She's really sexy, but she's insecure.

 

[Big Nuts]

1. Never live with her.
2. Never get married.

Marriage for men is soul death, a time bomb chained to your neck!

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[zekko]

She's such a time sap, I wish we lived separately so I could have time to myself.

Dude, if you have other things to do, go do them. Especially if it's related to your business. She's a girl, she's not your boss. Stand up and do what you have to do. Sounds like you are using her as an excuse to let yourself be lazy.

 

[BeDJ]

Dude, if you have other things to do, go do them. Especially if it's related to your business. She's a girl, she's not your boss. Stand up and do what you have to do. Sounds like you are using her as an excuse to let yourself be lazy.

Truth.

When I was in my live-in LTR:

Our love > My ambition

 

[zinc4]

She moved 14 hours away from where she lived in another state that I was previously working in, so a breakup would be difficult and drawn out.

My local area is kind of dry in terms of girls, and I'd rather focus my attention on making money and flaunting her around for the next few months to get the other girls jealous before I move.

Whenever I'm angry at her, I can tell that she's fearful of my disapproval. She's really sexy, but she's insecure.

Geez, man...what is the point of getting other girls jealous if you are moving...and why did you move in with her...it's an AFC to do inb the first place...one of my plates had a BF who moved in with her for a year before cheating on her...i just don't get the point of moving in a with a broad that you only value for sex...kick her out and keep her as a plate...if she doesn't like it then it's dumpsville for her.

 

[backbreaker]

i'm with zekko. her living with you and you not getting **** done are not tied together. you are just lazy.

i lived with my wife 3 years before we got married. i love you babe but you need to GTFO lol. and i work from home.

draw lines / create space, let her know wheni do this you need to back off or let me do me or you can go.

 

[Burroughs]

Looks like your tall, theatre loving girl has found a nice supplicating potential wage slave in you vice.

How does it feel to be the girl in the relationship?

You will never get the upper hand in this relationship

either get rid of her or accept being walked on

thats all

 

[Vice]

Geez, man...what is the point of getting other girls jealous if you are moving...and why did you move in with her...it's an AFC to do inb the first place...one of my plates had a BF who moved in with her for a year before cheating on her...i just don't get the point of moving in a with a broad that you only value for sex...kick her out and keep her as a plate...if she doesn't like it then it's dumpsville for her.

Because I come back here every so often (my parents live here), and it's good to be seen with an attractive woman.

I'm not so sure what's so "AFC" about having a girl move in with me so I can focus time and energy on making more money instead of going for new girls. There's nothing average, frustrated, or chumpy about that. I did it not from a point of scarcity, but from a point of directing my time and energy elsewhere.

Looks like your tall, theatre loving girl has found a nice supplicating potential wage slave in you vice.

How does it feel to be the girl in the relationship?

You will never get the upper hand in this relationship

either get rid of her or accept being walked on

thats all

I'm not working traditionally, I have no idea where this "wage slave" thing came from. The bulk of my money comes in passively, and my actual work week is about 10 hours. The rest of the time I'm at home studying for school/analyzing real estate deals.

Anyway she's taking the bus to work now and I've set up boundaries on how much time we spend together.

And yeah, having her move in with me was really dumb. But at least I have an exit strategy.

And I can focus my energy on making more money, gaining experience, and growing my business instead of chasing girls.

 

[Vice]

I've made the final decision:

I'll keep her around. Most of the problem is me being lazy and complacent.

At this stage in my life I'm going to focus on my business and making money, not chasing girls. Not a popular idea given the demographics of this board, but there's more to live than the pursuit of women.

I've grown to the point where I realize that women are very abundant, and it would be very simple to go find another one.

Right now, I am with money like I was with women when I first joined this site: clueless. Well, not really, but I'm more top-heavy on education, and less on action.

The goal is to attain enough passive income to live off of comfortably in two years from now, which will allow me to do whatever I please. By the time that happens, I will definitely be single again, and the adventures will be posted on this board.

 

[LiveFreeX]

My wife doesn't require any time or extra work, that should be an indicator of a good relationship. My wife sits around the house watching her cartoons and playing that dancepad game (keeps her in shape), doesn't like to go out much unless its to talk with other girls or her family. The only time she wants to 'do something' is during sex, everything else she's pretty autonomous.

I used to be in a relationship where I'd have to work at it like 24/7, make sure she was always entertained and that I was constantly up on my game. Was terrible and exhausting, eventually I broke down and she cheated on me. She was always up for doing stuff like hiking and clubbing and whatever.... fvck that noise... I'd rather have a homemaker than a party animal. You are 22 get your life in order before you take on a live in girlfriend.

 

[zinc4]

Because I come back here every so often (my parents live here), and it's good to be seen with an attractive woman.

I'm not so sure what's so "AFC" about having a girl move in with me so I can focus time and energy on making more money instead of going for new girls. There's nothing average, frustrated, or chumpy about that. I did it not from a point of scarcity, but from a point of directing my time and energy elsewhere

It's AFC to move in with a GF in the first place.....moving in is only for married people......i would go crazy if any of my plates lived with me...

 

[Vice]

It's AFC to move in with a GF in the first place.....moving in is only for married people......i would go crazy if any of my plates lived with me...

Read: this was a strategic (but ultimately foolish) move to focus time and energy on another aspect of life.

She was originally supposed to move into a friend's house, but things changed and she was allowed to stay with me at my parent's house.