I've got everything going for me (except...)

[BOWIE]

Help me out here guys...
I've got no problem attracting women. They constantly approach me at clubs. I'm very good looking, have a decent job, personality, etc. HOWEVER, I've been taking care of my grandparents. My grandfather probably only has a year left, and when he goes my grandmother is going to loose it (though she is healthy and will probably live another 10 years). I can't bear the thought of her staying in an old folk's home and since I'm a Dietary Manager at a hospital I have the ability to take care of her at home.
This seriously screws up my love life. When I meet girls at clubs I always leave them hanging because I can't be bringing random chicks home to Grandma's house. I could rent an apartment (just for dating purposes) but apartments here in Scottsdale are VERY pricey. The REAL killer is that I'd like to have a MEANINGFUL relationship but between my full-time job, my music (I have a band), school, and my grandparents, I really don't have enough time to keep a girl happy.
I'm about to turn 30 in a couple of days and it's freaking me out!
Any advice would be seriously appreciated.

 

[S1NN3R]

If you're looking for a MEANINGFUL relationship, then the chicks you'll bring home shouldn't be random.

I was in a similar situation and my gradparents always thought is was "cute" when I brought home a girl. Odd, but whatever. Anyway, you're 30, your grandparents probably know that you're not a monk. They were 30 once, they know what it was like. Just talk to them and tell them your issues, I don't see why they wouldn't understand. You're an adult, adults have sex. As long is you're not bringing home three different chicks every weekend, I doubt they would have any objections.

 

[BOWIE]

Just talk to them and tell them your issues, I don't see why they wouldn't understand. You're an adult, adults have sex. As long is you're not bringing home three different chicks every weekend, I doubt they would have any objections.

I guess I should've explained better. It's an extremely uncomfortable situation for me because I don't want strangers in and out of the house all the time. My grandfather is not well and I want to keep things really mellow at home. And, the bigger factor is, how do I explain to girls that we can't hang out at my place because I live w/ my dying grandparents? LAME. The only girls that aren't bugged by that are the 'meaningful relationship' types but I can't seem to keep those girls happy for long because I have little free-time.
I really feel "stuck" but maybe I'm just thinking inside the box.

 

[ADifferentKindofDJ]

I'm 32 and if you find the right girl it'll work. Never apolgize for what you do or think it's going to turn off a girl. I'm living at my dad's cleaning up after a divorce, going to grad school, work full time, and drive everyday 2hrs to and from work. Plus hours of rehearsals during the week. After dating a woman for 4 months I'm starting to pick and choose, but the whole point to this long a$$ story is: If they want you they will have to do the work. Simple.

Have I found a keeper? I'm willing to find out and so is she. Hope this helps...

ADKdj

 

[S1NN3R]

I guess I should've explained better. It's an extremely uncomfortable situation for me because I don't want strangers in and out of the house all the time. My grandfather is not well and I want to keep things really mellow at home. And, the bigger factor is, how do I explain to girls that we can't hang out at my place because I live w/ my dying grandparents? LAME. The only girls that aren't bugged by that are the 'meaningful relationship' types but I can't seem to keep those girls happy for long because I have little free-time.
I really feel "stuck" but maybe I'm just thinking inside the box.

Then the problem isn't that you can't do anything about it, but that you've resigned to not even try to do anything becuse of potential risks or difficulties, and nothing is going to change as long as you've decided that it's not going to work under the current configuration.

You won't bring them to your home, you won't go to their home, and you won't get a secondary place for the purposes of having somewhere to take them. guess what? You're not getting any.

You're going to have to sacrifice something to get other things that you want.

 

[WC2]

I'm sorry to her that bro.. family matters most above women. I know this forum doesn't really specialize in giving others advice on life and family matters, but consider your situation. Have you thought about putting your grandparents in a nursing home? As much as you may love them, remember they love you too and want to see you succeed in life, which is hard when you are too busy taking care of them. Best of luck to you.

 

[trance_addict]

Hey man,

I think that if a woman cannot respect the fact that you're taking care of your grandparents, then she's not worth it. You are making a very mature decision to do this, and you shouldn't feel like you're less of a man for doing it. It shows your integrity, strength, and respect to go through with something like that, so if you meet any women that find those qualities a turn-off, then I'd question their sexuality.

So basically, yea, its gonna be harder to deal with having females over, but it's not the end of the world if you actually go OUT somewhere. Lets face it, if you're looking for a LTR with a girl who's worth it, then you probably shouldn't be bangin them the first date at your place to begin with! (not saying its a bad thing, but most women who are worth LTR's probably aren't going to fukkk a guy the first day they meet them, unless you're looking for a slut, of course).

Keep up with what you're doing, stay confident, and dont' worry about it so much, you're doing the right thing, and if she doesn't like it, then *next* her ass!

 

[BOWIE]

Thank you guys. Great points. I think that's why I've been going for the realy easy girls (the ones that I can bang in the parking lot of a club or at my friend's house). I HATE girls like that but it's an easy cop-out.
Last night I saw a girl at the club who was TOTALLY MY TYPE. The kind I find once every couple years. I approached her and simply said, "Pardon me, you should know that you are the most beautiful woman here tonight." Then I walked off. She responded very well and throughout the night seemed like she was waiting for me to talk to her. I never did.
Instead, I just let these total *****s grind up on me on the dance floor.

I think Sinner summed it up pretty well, "you've resigned to not even try to do anything becuse of potential risks or difficulties, and nothing is going to change as long as you've decided that it's not going to work under the current configuration."

I think I'll go back to the club next week and make an effort to redeem myself.

 

[abcd_z]

Huh. I'm surprised nobody's come up with this angle yet. Have you considered that this might actually be a good thing? I mean, come on. Women love that sort of sentimental, caring shyte. As long as you're already past the attraction stage, it would work incredibly well as a rapport-builder. Imagine this: at first she only knows this confident, ****y side of you, and then you tell her about (or show her) your grandparent you're caring for, showing her a sensitive side of you she never knew about.

I fail to see how that could be a bad thing.

 

[Serialized3]

Man, I haven't had any success with that sentimental, caring stuff. I've mentioned that I have to go in for kidney testing (I'm gonna donate my kidney to my dad who's dying of kidney disease), but it hasn't seemed to have any effect on women.

 

[Bourne]

I haven't read the replies, but you are looking at wrong places for a good girl. Bars and clubs should be your LAST resort or none at all if you are looking for a relationship.

 

[S1NN3R]

I haven't read the replies, but you are looking at wrong places for a good girl. Bars and clubs should be your LAST resort or none at all if you are looking for a relationship.

There's not some secret stock of women somewhere that are only let out for club nights. The women you see in bars and clubs are the same women you see on the streets. The girl you meet in the bar might be on her first and last bar excursion, whereas the girl you meet in the post office might hit the clubs every single night of the year, and you have no idea until you get to know them. Considering how many girls go to bars, odds are pretty good that quite a few of the girls you meet on the street go to bars/clubs, and where you meet them doesn't mean anything.

Gods, why does this subject come up anytime anyone includes the word "bar" in a post? Finding her at a grocery store doesn't make her any more likely to be good relationship material. Psychos are everywhere, good girls are everywhere.

 

[MacDiddy]

Sound-proof you room if its that embarrasing... Put extra rubber soles under the foot of your bed.

Or better yet, have a chat with granny, and let her know that events like these are going to happen....