I've got confidence but no game.

[ElStud]

I don't know what it is, but I've got confidence but no game. Yesterday I had a very good approach with a 3-set but today, though I went up to girls with confidence, the sets never went anywhere. Heck, today I talked to this Nikki girl who is usually a helluva a lot interested in me and today, this chick just wouldn't open up for some reason, though she's usually VERY open with me. Most of my convos today where typical "Hey, how's it going?" "What'd you do this weekend?" stuff. The thing is I HATE using routines though. They're just not me(Especially negs and C+F, that's completely out of my personality). So I got the confidence, so how can I improve my game?

Here's an example of a typical approach...

Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Hey.
Me: Good. What are you doing this weekend?
Girl: Nothing.
Me: Well, I'm doing...

And I say what I'm doing. Then she'll say...

Girl: That's cool.

And I'll say....

Me: Well, it was nice talking to but I have to go.
Girl: Bye.

Seriously though lol without all the lines and techniques, I'm back to square one with girls even though I have the right mindset.

 

[ElStud]

So you're saying you have no game, you don't want to use C+F and negs, and then you ask how to improve your game? Here's a hint: C+F and negs. Among other things.

If you don't want to use the tips provided on here, then we can't really do much for you.

There are other ways to seduce, then be a total ass to the woman. Going up to a woman and insulting her isn't me.

 

[Stéphane]

Negs are basicaly a backhanded compliment, if your insulting someone your doing it totally wrong. Like you nose wiggles when you laugh, that's so cute. Your so short, and cute. Your remind me of my little sister that's so cute. etc..

 

[tsmith2334]

Your remind me of my little sister that's so cute. etc..

that doesn't sound like it would be very effective

 

[HandyAndy]

I have the same problem.

 

[Stéphane]

that doesn't sound like it would be very effective

Well your wrong.

 

[moto]

If you got confidence down then you are way ahead of most people on here. I think you may want to improve your social skills thats what it seems like. Be more interesting......follow up on the questions and keep talking. Just try holding the convo longer....the more you converse more practice it should help you, in my opinion

 

[Master Bates]

forget the terms "negging" and "c&f" and replace them with "playfully teasing", because that's all it really is, and that way you can fit it into your own personality better.

 

[DonJuan11]

-----------------------------------------------

Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Hey.
Me: Good. What are you doing this weekend?
Girl: Nothing.
Me: Well, I'm doing...

And I say what I'm doing. Then she'll say...

Girl: That's cool.

And I'll say....

Me: Well, it was nice talking to but I have to go.
Girl: Bye.
---------------------------------------------------

Where in the above do you think she got weak knees talking to you? Where have you built repertiore? Where have you asked her something she identifies with?

What were you expecting with that conversation? Something like:


Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Hey.
Me: Good. What are you doing this weekend?
Girl: Nothing.
Me: Well, I'm doing...
Girl: Oh really? Let me do that too so I can come back to your place and drop my pants and sleep with you.

 

[ChrizZ]

I don't know what it is, but I've got confidence but no game. Yesterday I had a very good approach with a 3-set but today, though I went up to girls with confidence, the sets never went anywhere. Heck, today I talked to this Nikki girl who is usually a helluva a lot interested in me and today, this chick just wouldn't open up for some reason, though she's usually VERY open with me. Most of my convos today where typical "Hey, how's it going?" "What'd you do this weekend?" stuff. The thing is I HATE using routines though. They're just not me(Especially negs and C+F, that's completely out of my personality). So I got the confidence, so how can I improve my game?

Here's an example of a typical approach...


Seriously though lol without all the lines and techniques, I'm back to square one with girls even though I have the right mindset.

DON'T FEED THE TROLL!!!

Even if he isn't a troll, he is beyond help.

He has been on here for years, but is too stubborn/stupid to take the advice he gets on here.

Mods, just ban that idiot. Once and for all.

 

[LostAndConfused]

ChrizZ, thats because he hasn't been given advice thats relevant to him.

No one here expects a girl to say something like what DonJuan11 said, but at the same time, you shouldn't expect a girl to give answers like she gave to ElStud.

Where was the conversation anyways? How could he hold a one-sided conversation longer? The issue is only partially his game. If there was a base level of attraction or interest, the girl will of course hold up her side of the conversation. I'll give an example, specifically, one part of ElStud's "conversation"

ElStud: What are you doing this weekend?
Girl: Nothing
ElStud: Well I'm doing...x, y and then z.
Girl: That's cool.

Does NO ONE ELSE see what I see here?

Because I see a huge parallel.

Do you guys know what that conversation sounds like?

It sounds like the fvcking average conversation between a typical teenager and their PARENT!!!

Example:

Parent: Hey Teen, how was your day today?
Teen: Alright.
Parent: Thats good
Teen: (no answer...silence)
Parent: Yeah.
Teen: What's for dinner?
Parent: Steak.
Teen: Oh.

I think most of us have been in a conversation like that with a parent. At least I sure as hell have.

I really don't think ElStud even had the chance to use C+F/negs.

So the advice I can give to you ElStud, take it how you want, and take it with a grain of salt because I have the exact same problem as you, but try to make your "conversations" more conversation, less interrogation...even though its probably the girl's fault why its that way.

Perhaps find some way to build interest. Become a more interesting person, but more relevant to your situation, become more popular.

This may be more evidence that SOCIAL PROOF is the biggest facet in a DJ's game, besides confidence.

 

[robstar]

No, you don't have confidence you have ego.. there's a big difference. You also say that going up to a women and insulting her isn't you. I recommend 3 things for you:
1. Zan Perrion
2. Eckhart Tolle
3. RSD

 

[Dongfu]

He has been on here for years

Not saying that he's not Trolling, but it seems both you and ElStud have been around here for less than two years. Did you guys used to have different user names? He's only 17, and your only 18. So I'd say by your guys age bracket, neither of you is beyond help.

 

[ChrizZ]

Not saying that he's not Trolling, but it seems both you and ElStud have been around here for less than two years. Did you guys used to have different user names? He's only 17, and your only 18. So I'd say by your guys age bracket, neither of you is beyond help.

He got banned, came back under a different username.

He did that like 5 times already.

 

[Dongfu]

He got banned, came back under a different username.

He did that like 5 times already.

Good to see someone is paying attention.

 

[Maxtro]

Since I'm having basically the same problem, lets work on this thing.

Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Hey.
Me: Good. What are you doing this weekend?
Girl: Nothing.

Right there is the problem. First of all I give you props for asking what they are doing on the weekend. Good first step. When she says "nothing" it is a sign of low interest from her. You have two options. Eject, or try to recover.

Me: Well, I'm doing...

And I say what I'm doing. Then she'll say...

Girl: That's cool.

I'm sure you know that she doesn't really care what you are doing. After she said she is doing "nothing" it's a good opportunity to throw in a neg.

Me: What you got going on this weekend?
Her: Nothing
Me: Nothing? (laugh and then in a friendly tone) You must have a pretty boring life to be doing nothing on the weekend.
Her: Hey! My life isn't boring. I'm going to do XYZ.

Now that you find out what she is really going to do and she is having fun with you, I'm stumped. The obvious questions are to ask if she likes doing XYZ, how often she does XYZ, but I don't think those questions help with attraction.

What step is missing to get her to drop her pants?

Edit:
My guess.

Me: Well for your information I'm going to do XYZ. Have you ever done X, Y or Z?
Her: No I haven't (or yes I have her answer doesn't matter)
Me: Well then you should come with me and check it out. Whats your number?

Note: The above is just a guess and is the best case scenario.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Yea...definitely depends on his delivery. In terms of confidence, yea El STud...u have the confidence to approach but for the overall interaction...u might not be confident quite yet. I am at this stage too...when ur confident during an interaction...u'll be relaxed and interesting things will come on the fly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tsmith2334
that doesn't sound like it would be very effective

Well your wrong.
________________

It can be right or wrong. This is an example of a delivery. You have to have to do it in the manner that u really are being playful and teasing with her. If u just do it with a calm demeanor, it might not work as right. In terms of it being very effective, i have to disagree. It can be effective, but just saying she's silly and a mess are pretty much the same thing. Why not just say that instead? lol.

El Stud is right in the sense that u don't have to use C & F and Negs. Why? Because all C & F and negs are used for it two things. One, for negs...they're backhand complimenting an arrogant girl. Two, for C & F...its more like funny arrogance. Its like "ur faking" the arrogance just to be funny. But with that, the best way is to learn to be relaxed, imo. I have not seen one person who "hasn't" been funny when relaxed and comfortable. The backhand compliment and teasing stuff comes naturally to us. C & F and negs is for beginningers to start to get to the point. Its just the problem is that the teaching of those two concepts aren't that good. The neg teaching is that they make it sound like ur suppose to insult the girl. The C & F is taught as if u actually got to be arrogant and ball bust the girl to the point where ur just askin to be booed at.

I think the best thing is that it should be more natural. They try to have u remember a time when u were just fully relaxed, having fun and how u were teasing the people close around you? Or when someone was acting arrogant and all high and mighty, and u put them down a peg easily? thats what they should teach.

Lastly, yea El Stud...u should take the advice more often and actually use it. U do listen to it i bet, but just apply it and remove ur ego. But what Maxtro said even better would be...."Looks like ur weekend will be interesting will now be interesting. We're going so to so and im bringing you with me " Thats just my suggestion.

 

[WesCottII]

I've got confidence but no game.

We know.

 

[Stacks Of Terror]

We know.

funniest true thing in this thread yet. I'm confused though he was doing good for a while there. What happened? He just stopped improving or what.