Ive gone mad........

[hb]

I just realized what my problem is..................
While I was younger I was used to lots of attention, from my parents and especially kids in school, I was the man, I was also the best athlete. Since then I've became a nobody...... Im not respected and im not the best athlete or the best looking kid anymore, ive become just another "joe". When this first hit me i became very very bitter..... I hated everybody I hated everything and anybody who was more then I. Although I was very cool with these kids and part of the "group" My pride and jelousy never really alowed me to get closer to them. When I see how everybody else is on there sh!t, following them around or getting into the same activity as them, i would go the other way and do my own thing. When it came to ball, these kids were better then me, when it came to looks some were better then me........
This drove me insane...... I had to find a way to go back to becoming the man, and im still looking for a way to do that. I've started working out like crazy and the results are GREAT but this is not bringing me up any higher. I realized its all about personality but I've become so bitter that I cannot really become buddy buddies with these guys...... I realized i need a positive attitude.............. But then my competitive nature comes in........ I want to be better then them, every single last one of them.........
one of my boys is doing his thing like crazy and i cant stand it.....Ive become a hater.

Every single fvcken time I see someone better then me at something, IT EATS ME INSIDE, i want to be the best at everything but i just dont know how.......
I previously posted a topic on my looks and how I feel ugly, the thing thats killing me is that for guys there arent too many ways to look great, its pretty much the face that ur born with u have to work with.
MY PERSONALITY IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. i mean i cant even joke around most of the time, thats how serious I've become.

And to top it all off I see ni99as fvcken with some of these gorgeous girls and im settling for less?

Sometimes i think to myself, i should kill myself but the only thing that stops me is It'll show that I FAILED........

I want to improve on EVERYTHING but the problem is I dont know exactly how and The first thing I need to improve is my personality...........

My pride will not allow me to show people that I want to be liked.......... I dont want to svck nobodys d!ck either.......


Another thing is, last week at 3 am I almost got into a fight and I was apoligizing like the only fvcken *****, I seen the kid today and I talked to him and i felt like he was laughing in my ****en face.

I WANNA KILL THAT MUTHA FVCKER

 

[Porky]

All you ever do is complain about your crappy life. I'm sick of giving you pity and trying to help you out. What do you contribute to this website? What are you contributing to your life? Stop half-assing everything, if I can become one of the most popular guys I know, so can you. Shut up, get off of the computer, and start working to better yourself.

 

[Don of Truth]

Madness for your soul

Jail is no place to learn and grow as a man.
So just remember...DO NOT hurt anyone or yourself physically.

As long as you can do that then go ahead and decend into the depths of madness all you like.

There are lots of great books on the subject.
You should take up reading on works by Erich Fromm, R.D. Laing, and especially Ian Heath.

Here is the link for Ian Heath.
It will tell you all about your emotions and what is happening.

http://members.freezone.co.uk/ian-heath

Enjoy and have fun with madness safely !!

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

You haven't gone mad, you are just working with underachievement and the fear of inferiority.... Do not look to the past but look to the future.

I'm like you, I'm VERY competetive. I'm like I cannot lose inn anything... But that's why I also do not fear them or get so competetive because I _know_ I'm "better" than them at certain stuff.... Like my mates know more than me about say cars, electronics and **** like that but then I think, so fvcking what? That's not important to me, I'm better than them inn computers, sports, language, picking up girls, better looking, Whatever so why on earth should I care?

That's what you need todo, FOCUS ON YOUR GOOD SIDES and remove, overlook or fix your bad sides.


You are wrong on the looks departement! Even though having a great face is a very attractive thing, there are ALOT more to a guys looks that will attract females including such things as:
- General physique/body (Build!)
- Style/How you dress
- Haircut/style
- Bodylanguage

All those can be bettered, enhanced or fixed if you wish... Work out, get good clothes, get a good haircut/style, fix your posture and bodylanguage.

 

[Don of Truth]

Fighting fire with fire

Originally posted by Porky
All you ever do is complain about your crappy life. I'm sick of giving you pity and trying to help you out. What do you contribute to this website? What are you contributing to your life? Stop half-assing everything, if I can become one of the most popular guys I know, so can you. Shut up, get off of the computer, and start working to better yourself.

I won't claim you aren't one of the most popular guys YOU know but I was wondering if the lack of compassion and harshness you have shown to hb is part of what got you there ?

 

[Wonderbread166]

Re: Fighting fire with fire

Originally posted by Don of Truth
I won't claim you aren't one of the most popular guys YOU know but I was wondering if the lack of compassion and harshness you have shown to hb is part of what got you there ?

He wasn't being overly harsh. hb likes to bitc h about how horrible his life is, while it's only horrible because he's got the wrong mentality. Frankly, it takes a swift kick in the azz to get some people back on track. You have what it takes, hb, we all do, you just gotta stop whining and start concentrating on your goals. If you want something to the point where not getting it has made you contemplate suicide, then should it be so hard to become the man you want to be?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

HB, what you need is a large dose of humility.

Who said that you were to be better than others? Is that your goal in life? We each have our talents and should use them to the fullest extent. Are you using your talents to their full potential?

Reaching your full potential has nothing to do with the talents of others, so why compare yourself to them? You focus is wrong, it shouldn't be on how you compare to others, rather the focus should be on how you can become a better person! You can start by not being jealous and envious of others.

Bend your knees in humility and thank God you have what you have...and pray that He gives you guidance on what really matters in life!

 

[chili kat]

Being competitve and successful is one thing, but if you believe by being better than everyone else at everything that respect will be automatically granted to you...

You're wrong.


You will never be someone without the respect of others, and you will never be given respect by making everyone feel inferior...just take a look at how YOU are dealing with that feeling yourself.

These people you hate would never float if everyone else felt the same way. Other people are getting something out of the association, unlike you. If that's what you want to become, you have to make other people feel like knowing you is lifting themselves up somehow.



Being "the man" is not entirely about you.

 

[CLOONEY]

Good advice PRL.

Too many guys on this board focus on what OTHERS are doing. What other guys are like, what the girls they like are doing. Instead of looking what YOU are doing youself.

This lesson I learnt when I was preparing for a fight one time in boxing. I was fighting some unknown guy, so I was asking around about him, trying to find out what he was like as a fighter, what he was good at etc. Man was I wrong, I didnt put enough preperation into myself, and in what I was doing, and it didnt pay off come fight night. WHO CARES what HE could do. My coach told me, why do you care what he is doing, or what he is like? Focus on your own preperation, prepare yourself to be flawless, and no matter what he can do, you will counter him. Too late, I didnt prepare myself the best and focus on myself, instead thinking of what he could do and I paid for it. In the rematch I prepared ME and in the rematch I wooped him. This is just an example, in everything in life, dont look at what others are doing, just do whatever you can to better yourself. Your greatest competition is yourself!

 

[Dirtheart]

And to top it all off I see ni99as fvcken with some of these gorgeous girls and im settling for less?

Excuse me? Could you explain this please.

 

[Porky]

Re: Fighting fire with fire

Originally posted by Don of Truth
I won't claim you aren't one of the most popular guys YOU know but I was wondering if the lack of compassion and harshness you have shown to hb is part of what got you there ?

Not at all. I'm a very nice and respectful person, and I hate people who put everybody down.

I told him exactly what he needed to hear, though. I wouldn't have responded if my intent was just to complain and not help.

 

[hb]

First..... Porky is definitely right, thats exactly what I need. To answer porky about how i dont contribute to the site........
my answer is, how can I help other people when I can barely help myself, if i had the knowledge then I wouldnt be here complaining.........

Clooney.... You are right in a way...... Your greatest competition is yourself BUT you should getting a feel of other people and how well they are doing so that you know how high the standards are........ once you reach that standard THEN you are your greatest competition, then you try to push it as far as you can....


Chili cat.... You made me realize why I am where I am now........
Since the beginning Ive always set out to make others feel inferior to me......... This always made me seem like an enemy to everyone.
"These people you hate would never float if everyone else felt the same way. Other people are getting something out of the association, unlike you. If that's what you want to become, you have to make other people feel like knowing you is lifting themselves up somehow"
your 20000% correct..................

PRL- I do thank God for every thing i have...... but when your at my age, STATUS is EVERYTHING......

Wonder bread.....
"If you want something to the point where not getting it has made you contemplate suicide, then should it be so hard to become the man you want to be?"
This is probably the thing that is killing me the most...............
I dont know how to describe it exactly.......
Its kind of like I have an idea of how to get to wear I want to be but when im put into the same situation I react the same to it all the time, Its kind of like my fear of what is going to happen next if i do this........ I really dont understand it, but the reactions to my actions are scarier to me then basically suicide........ Im afraid of getting into a situation and reacting to it the wrong way.........

Atleast i think thats what it is.

Kineti[C]harm
You are right, i do fear inferiority.... I am also afraid of failing......
Sometimes I end up not doing what i want to do because if i fail it will prove my inferiority...... If i dont attempt then i dont fail......
Its kinda like what I wrote to wonder bread.
If i fail what is next?

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Improve until you do not fail....

When I moved away from home to go to university I setup two simple rules that I was not to break:
- HAVE FUN NOMATHER WHAT ASLONG AS IT DOES NOT AFFECT OTHERS!
and the most important one
- Always take a chance and reget having done something instead of regreting not doing something! Which means that if I want todo something like approach a girl, skydive, run naked through school, anything aslong as it's not legal I WILL DO IT and regret doing it instead of regret not doing it.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by hb
PRL- I do thank God for every thing i have...... but when your at my age, STATUS is EVERYTHING......

You are wrong in your assessment. First off, 'status' is more important when you are older not younger..to be an unemployed, irresponsible, confused 19 year old is much more forgiving, than being in the same state of existence at the age 40. At 40 you'll be labeled a 'washed up' loser, at 19 you'll be labeled at worst a 'Juvenile delinquent'. It is easier to change the course of a 19 y/o than to repair the damage at 40!

Secondly, 'status is not everything'. "SUIBSTANCE" is everything!!! Your youth should be spent preparing for your future! Your foundation as a man is built on substance and not on some false illusory 'status'!!! Status follows substance, if you want status do something substantial!!!!!

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by hb

Clooney.... You are right in a way...... Your greatest competition is yourself BUT you should getting a feel of other people and how well they are doing so that you know how high the standards are........ once you reach that standard THEN you are your greatest competition, then you try to push it as far as you can....

This is VERY wrong. This is what everyone thinks. NEVER compare yourself to others, dont be better than you can be, just be ALL that you can be. Push yourself to be everything you can be. When you start to look at others, you can loose confidence, feel intimidated (and a lot of the time for NO reason, you are better than them anyways). But if you go in it with the mindset that you are great and you have done EVERYTHING you can to make yourself great, you cant fail.

When you start winging and complaining and comparing yourself to everyone else out there, you have already lost. Your mind is weak. You are feeding yourself insecurities. There is always going to be someone richer, better looking, funnier, more charismatic than you, but if you are great in all areas (you dont have to be THE BEST), then you will not fail.