I've fallen into the friendship zone...Can u guys help me to get out???

[_Machiavelli_]

Imagine the following situation:

1--> You and your friend are good friends, you are at the same class, and there's this girl wich you find a cutie but unfortunately she ( like other girls in the class ), doesn't give a **** to you and only has eyes to your friend. He acts the jerk around her ( playing the interested and the i dont give a **** attitude with her), and the more he does that, the more she get's pissed and the more her interest in him grows.

2--> Imagine also that she although she treats you with respect, is always playing the whining girl, always complaining about how stupid my friend is, and she is so attracted to him, and also that she doesn't understand his feelings towards her. My friend has a g/f and that girl has a b/f also, so the situation is even more ****ed up. Me??? Well, instead of acting like i don't give a **** about her relationship between her and my friend started playing the part of a pshycologist, just like an emotional tampon. I feel bad, cause now they're ok with each other and the girl doesn't approach me no more.


3-->The strange thing is that she actually uses kino when she's with me ( playing with my hair, face, putting her head on my shoulder and i do the same) maybe to make my friend jealous or something don't know.... yeah that must be it. Also she treats me in a very mushy wushy way... i told her i don't like to be treated that way but she insists, and she's always saying that i'm very nice, a very good friend, and that i'm very different from my friend, that pisses me a lot.

PS: I tried to act the jerk with her, but it didn't work, and she stopped talking to me. When my friend acts the jerk she gets pissed at him also, but in a different way, she didn't care if i was a jerk with her, but she cares about when he does. Know what i mean? I'm sure you do.


So imagine this things guys and tell me what would you start doing monday when i'm confronted with them again. Should i avoid them? Diss the ***** when something goes wrong and she turns out to me whining and asking for counseling?

I really need some info. Being the emotional tampon happens to me a lot? Anyone knows why this happens so much with some guys and others don'?

Ya know, it seems like they see in our faces and decide if we are to be friends or lovers. maybe some vibes we give... it's ****in' mysterious.

 

[es_mer8]

and the more he does that, the more she get's pissed and the more her interest in him grows.

X

He acts like a jerk to her because she thinks she can't get him. I have a bunch of dogs. Well, my dad does. My dad once gave a knucklebone to each one of the dogs. They all wanted eachother's bone and didn't give a damn about the one they had. This is the same principle. To her, he looks out of her grasp and she thinks she can't get him. As opposed to you, which you seem readily available.

My friend has a g/f and that girl has a b/f also, so the situation is even more ****ed up

XX

All the more appealing to him. She may be one of those girls that enjoy it because its much riskier and hence more exciting to date and bang someone who is with a girl. She also sees the thrill in banging another guy when she is with another man.

started playing the part of a pshycologist, just like an emotional tampon

XXX

I do these X's to show the mistakes or signs you're in the friend zone. Anyway, this is where you know you're in the friend zone. This is almost like the point of no tomorrow but I supposed something can be salvaged.

she's always saying that i'm very nice, a very good friend, and that i'm very different from my friend, that pisses me a lot

XXXXX

Nice? Ouch, thats a huge mark against you. Saying you are a friend means that you are a friend and will never be anything more unless she likes you and she gets drunk one night and decides to bang you.

You = Screwed

My advice: Forget her. You're in the friend zone so enjoy the ride because its going to suck.

 

[_Machiavelli_]

Forget her? we will be in the same class for a year.... at least i can simply ruin the friendship.It's the solution that comes to my mind right now. Better to be an ******* than a loser

 

[Starman]

unfortunately,

I dont think there is anyway out of this mess for you. I was in a similar situation.

Your problem is that you became her girlfriend..instead of showing romantic interest initially.

You thought by playing the nice guy, being supportive, and an overall great guy would win her heart. But it backfired and now you are frustrated that you invested so much time and energy..only to wind up with nothing.

You said you treated her like a jerk and she stopped talking to you. So obviously that approach isnt going to work.

This is a doomed situation and most likely since she has already formed her impression of you as the "nice guy"..you will probably never end up with her.

and reversing your impression on her is nearly impossible. But I find that a few little tricks may work.

1) Start talking to her about YOUR girl problems..tell her you really like some OTHER girl...but she is moving too fast for you..and you like being single but you dont want to lose her either because she is VERY SPecial to you.

2) start being flirty with other women in class in her presence (This is KEY..and it works WONDERS..kinda like social proof..she will get very JEALOUS) but make sure you pay her LESS attention than the other girls.

3) DONT EVER listen to her guy problems again..if she talks about other guys..just pretend like you are listening and shrug your shoulders and say .."That really sucks!"

4) Start teasing her a bit with negative hits..but dont insult her..just be playful..like you dont care whether she talks to you again or not.

5) if you have been calling her alot DONT do it anymore. Give her like 1 call to every 3 of hers.

6) Keep up with Kino and C/F. Slap her ass for fun (this is to try and dispell any idea in her head that you are not a sexual person). So start being flirty with her and dont be ashamed to talk about sex .. or your 13" penis, or talk about your sexual exploits with other women..tell her about this wild girl you met a while back..and how you and her tryed out almost every position in the Kama Sutra

7) Try to show off in front of her any skill that you have (You have got to be good at something?) work out a little and ask her if your chest or arms are getting "bigger" and ask her to feel your chest/arms to see if you are "getting strong?" this is to get HER to do Kino on you.

8) Stop being so caring, nice, understanding and compassionate to her..Because these are things she values in you..so in order for her to GET IT from you..you have to stop giving it away for free and make her work for it.

Let me know how it turns out..changing a LJBF to romance has always been one of the more interesting topics for me.

 

[_Machiavelli_]

Guys i don't want to reverse the effect, i just don't want the ***** to **** my head more than it is. I just don't like to have girl friends, never liked and guess i never will.

 

[Starman]

OK great. I guess I misinterpreted your post..when the title read "Guys Ive fallen in the friendship zone, can you help me get out?"

If you dont want her in your life..then you need to cut off ALL contact with her..and just endure your classes with her. Cut off any other association by not talking about her to your friend..and just ignore the girl and her existence. or if you have the option of switching classes, do so.

Try to work other girls to keep your mind off of her.

and if your question is why it happens to you so often , its pretty obvious.

You are still using the Friendship path to try and win girls instead of the DJ techniques/frame of mind. Then you wind up in the LJBF zone.

 

[Mizer]

Getting out of the LJBF zone is, of course, nearly impossible. Your best bet it to avoid the things highlighted in Starman's post from now on. Move on. She is 99.9%
lost to you. Sorry.


The whole concept of the LJBF zone is intriguing. The fact that it's so easy to get into and nearly impossiblel to get out still amazes me. You can get buffed, sport cooler clothes, etc., but its seems to help little. Maybe one day there will be a cure.

Mizer

 

[_Machiavelli_]

You are still using the Friendship path to try and win girls instead of the DJ techniques/frame of mind. Then you wind up in the LJBF zone.

I don't think it's that, i think it's more physical.

 

[Starman]

What do you mean its more physical?


Although I know some people have done this..most cases are already doomed.

The reason I think its possible to get out of the LJBF zone is this.

Impression.

You know how they say "first impressions are VERY important?"

The girls first impression of Machiavelli was that he is trying to be her friend.

but are first impressions permanent? I dontt think so.

Have you ever met anybody whom you thought was weak, dorky, jerkoff/a$$hole..then once you got to know them better..you changed your impression on the person, and now think he/she is supercool and completely opposite of your first impression?

Did you ever look at a food you thought looked distasteful..then later tried it and loved it?

doing a 180 on impression is possible..simply because the Mind is not a permanent construct and is always adjusting how we view the world.

if you had a pushover friend who always agreed to go wherever you wanted, lend you money, always agree with you..you would think he is a spineless chump.

If one day that same friend put his foot down..and decide never to let you take advantage of him..

you would adjust your impression of him..and start treating him how he expects to be treated.

 

[_Machiavelli_]

More physical in the way that she probably found my friend a more attractive male than me, i think that really counts to a girl despite of confidence being important also. and u are also right, i might not give the impression of trying to win her trough the friends path but maybe indirectly and out of my control i'm doing it.

 

[Starman]

dude I have no idea what you just said.

But your thread just flipped from a "How do I get out of LJBF zone" to "Are looks that important in attraction?"

you're trying to explain why you got LJBF situation by blaming it all on your looks instead of your technique

because god forbid..its easier to blame failure on your looks and fall into a mementary depression,,than to actually Work hard at improving your game

 

[AkiraZero]

Originally posted by _Machiavelli_
The reason I think its possible to get out of the LJBF zone is this.

I agree with star.

It certainly is possible to get out of friends zone. Well before I know all this stuff etc. I was just friends with a lot of girls, ( they only saw me as a friend). Through time I learnt more with other girls I dated. And I found out how important the things based on instinct are. The look in your eyes, the voicetone (sexy voice), bodylanguage(confident and smooth).

I now checked in some girls, who only saw me as a friend.

Because I changed my friendly approach/attitude to a a mysterious/sexy/romantic way with these girls.

 

[Starman]

Akira , thats great, can you give us some examples of how you turned your persona from a friend to mysterious/challenge/sexy?

What did you do different.

The notion that getting out of the LJBF being futile is very popular here..

Im working on a LJBF right now..not because Im interested in this chick romantically anymore..but just to test out my theory.

I went from calling 5-6 times a week, being a nice guy emotional tampon, sending gifts, being caring,staying away from the subject of sex, and supportive..to

Never calling..shrugging off her problems, never complimenting her, neg hitting, telling her my sexual exploits, being careless and aloof.always being "busy" .and it seems like it is working..because now this girl is always complimenting me, calling me, etc..and gets happy when I send her an email or call out of the blue.

 

[becker]

I've written a lot about this before, but basically, the reason I like being in the LJBF zone is that it gives you "gambling chips". Let me elaborate. Imagine that you are a pretty good friend (not best friends, but just a cool guy to be around). Next, realize that you have the power to take away what you have given. This means that once you stop becoming so available as a cool friend, the girl will start feeling empty because there's now a void in her life that was there before.

Being able to manipulate this is what gives you the power to possibly make her realize that maybe she overlooked you, since many people don't realize what they have until it's gone, right? Let her think about that and stew over it for a while, and I'm guessing the calls will start coming in.

Worth a shot.

 

[AkiraZero]

Originally posted by Starman
Akira , thats great, can you give us some examples of how you turned your persona from a friend to mysterious/challenge/sexy?

What did you do different.

The notion that getting out of the LJBF being futile is very popular here..

Im working on a LJBF right now..not because Im interested in this chick romantically anymore..but just to test out my theory.

I went from calling 5-6 times a week, being a nice guy emotional tampon, sending gifts, being caring,staying away from the subject of sex, and supportive..to

Never calling..shrugging off her problems, never complimenting her, neg hitting, telling her my sexual exploits, being careless and aloof.always being "busy" .and it seems like it is working..because now this girl is always complimenting me, calling me, etc..and gets happy when I send her an email or call out of the blue.

For example pick a girl who in the past only saw u as a friend but not a possible lover.

Look at how u acted against her.

1 - U prolly never talked to her that u were dating other girls. Being afraid she would think u already have someone/want someone else then her.

2 - U were very kind / Said lot of yes / Always made time for her. Helped her a lot with things.

3. U always automatically answered questions. Were very open to her about lots of things. For example you would automatically have answered questions like "what did u do yesterday evening? Who were those girls u were talking too? Who was that person on the phone?

4. - U had a normal kind voicetone like u have with your grandma for example.

5 - U probably never really looked her deeply into her eyes for longer than a sec (with a sexy look in your eyes).

6 - Your bodylangue was prolly not good either. (not smooth and a confident posture)

7 - U probably didn't had much of kino with her except the friends kino like ur arm on her shoulders/neck.

__

Now Change them like this.

__

1. Let her now ur dating several girls at the moment. So she knows other girls want u.

2 - Be more ****y/humour. For example she wants you to come over to her to watch a movie or something. Say, nah im sorry but im busy. She asks if u can do something for her, say "what im going to get in return" with a look in ur face. Or for example she does something wrong accidently Say to her, how are you going to make up for that? with the same look in ur face.
Be a challenge, let her use her fantasy.

3. Be a mystery, don't give too many answers. Don't give direct answers. For example if she asks "Who was that girl you were drinking with in the cafe? Say: Hmm, I've got a short-term memory, I have no idea. Then she asks you cmon tell me! Say: Nice weather today, ain't it?

4. Have a slow sexy voicetone. Like James bond has when he talks with the chicks when they're under 4 eyes with eachother.

5. Use a standard mysterious look the whole time ( that she can't read any emotions of you) . Good example is Pierce Brosnan When u see him he always has this little eyes mysterious look.

Also important is that at some some moments u must look her very deeply into her eyes with a sexy confident look in your eyes.

6. Sit straight, shoulders correctly. Legs not wide. When u walk, move slowly, smooth. Like James bond for example. Be smooth in your bodylanguage.

7. Fondle/stroke her arm, upper legs, hands. While ur fondling her hands, look her deeply into her eyes for a moment. Stroke her in her hair while u look her in the eyes. Good timing required offcourse.

 

[AkiraZero]

Originally posted by becker
Next, realize that you have the power to take away what you have given. This means that once you stop becoming so available as a cool friend, the girl will start feeling empty because there's now a void in her life that was there before.

Thats true. Have the same things I start missing them, after I don't have them anymore. Hate it

 

[HuuBinh]

getting out of the friends zone is easy if you know SS.

 

[Grey Fox]

Hey Mach,

If you want my two cents the girl sounds like a tease. You've got about a million to one shot of getting out of the LJBFs zone. So your stuck, and yes its going to suck. But I would like you to take some inspiration from your namesake the real Machivelli. What would he do? Well let me suggest a few things. 1. Be less available to her, it'll give her something to think about. 2. Brush off her flirting. 3. When she starts complaining, remind her your a man and that complaining about guys is a topic best left to women. 4. If all else fails tell her straight out she's a tease and your tired of her complaining, tell her it makes her grossly unattractive and its no wonder why your buddy has no interest in her. Look this isnt going help win her over by any means, but man have some respect for yourself. Your a DJ, you gotta think and act like one. When a girl tries to play you like an AFC, its your duty to remind her your the "prize" she should be after, and you only deal in quality women and she proved herself not to be one. Just walk away and NEXT her, you still got your pride and a lesson learned, she just got a reality check. Trust me the other guys have given you the same advice and I agree with them.

Grey Fox

 

[AkiraZero]

Originally posted by HuuBinh
getting out of the friends zone is easy if you know SS.

yup, Knowledge is power

 

[Bonhomme]

Akira and Starman have right kind of ideas.

But it's harder when you see someone around all the time.

Much less difficult to do a turnaround if you can have a BREAK froim contact with them for a while.

Then when you reappear, don't pick up where you left off, but start again fresh. New attitude, new man, new life.

I've recently had a few recent turnarounds in progress that haven't gone beyond flirting yet, but their attitude when I run into them is noticeably different.