why is it? i've done affirmations, started working out but stopped a while ago. i havent changed at all.... i'm still the quiet little ***** i used to be... and guess what? ........ this girl just asked me out not too long ago and i said yes but i dont know what to do from now on out, shes sort of the club going type that can dance and i;'m the homestaying boy who cant dance.... what should i do? why hasnt my attitude changed ? why am i still the same?
I've been on this site for 1 and a half years and i havent improved for jack $h!+
- Thread starter ABGPlayer
- Start date
PiHiPlaya
Master Don Juan
Should I feel sorry for you? No one on this board will pity you so stop complaining. It boils down to that you don't try hard enough. "Well I read affirmations" that's special, but just cuz you read affirmations doesn't mean that people will want to talk to you.
What's that? You work out too? Yay, trying to improve yourself... but you quit. That's your fault.
It sounds to me like you only did 2 things and just expect girls to come on to you.
LISTEN UP
You HAVE to do the bootcamp, become more outgoing, or you have NO future! if you are shy DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. It's not that hard to speak up! BE LOUD
Life isn't that hard, don't make it out to be that way.
Keep the relationship fresh, it shouldn't be too hard to type long term relationships in the search engine.
Good Luck and stop whining pus$$y
What's that? You work out too? Yay, trying to improve yourself... but you quit. That's your fault.
It sounds to me like you only did 2 things and just expect girls to come on to you.
LISTEN UP
You HAVE to do the bootcamp, become more outgoing, or you have NO future! if you are shy DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. It's not that hard to speak up! BE LOUD
Life isn't that hard, don't make it out to be that way.
Keep the relationship fresh, it shouldn't be too hard to type long term relationships in the search engine.
Good Luck and stop whining pus$$y
THA REALNESS
Banned
Embrace your own fate as a mortal ...We don't live forever enjoy your own awkardness.
Okay, a (presumably) attractive girl just asked you out, right? She's attracted to you, so you're at least date-able.
The only thing holding you back is yourself. If you don't put yourself out there, of course you won't advance. PiHi is harsh, but he's right.
The only thing holding you back is yourself. If you don't put yourself out there, of course you won't advance. PiHi is harsh, but he's right.
RawkinKaoticStyle
Senior Don Juan
Cogent Ops.
Don Juan
Ok man, I think I might be able to give some decent advice here.
I had the same problem. I was on this site for almost the same length (name was Zelemont) and I was frustrated just like you. I read the bible alot, and I still hadnt had a date or improved much since I got here.
The problem: I knew everything I needed to do, but I didnt do it. I was a shy little hermit and I never actually put my knowledge into practice. I think that the solution for people like us is baby steps.
Try the bootcamp. Seriously FORCE yourself out there and TRY. If you think the bootcamp is way too hard and unreasonable, change it until you feel like its just barely less than reasonable for you. You still want it to force you to do things that you think are impossible in time, otherwise it wouldnt change you very much.
Realize that you wont go anywhere unless you try. It might be hard at first too. I know it was for me. I would finally grab my balls and get out there, and then I would fail so much. I felt so embarrassed because I kept saying and doing such stupid sh*t. You will never really understand how important failure is until you have experienced your fair share of it. I have improved so much, and I am failing less and less.
It's your own fault that you arent changing. It's your own fault that you aren't out there dancing and having fun, and you're sitting at home instead.
Hope this helped a little.
AIM: Zelemont
I had the same problem. I was on this site for almost the same length (name was Zelemont) and I was frustrated just like you. I read the bible alot, and I still hadnt had a date or improved much since I got here.
The problem: I knew everything I needed to do, but I didnt do it. I was a shy little hermit and I never actually put my knowledge into practice. I think that the solution for people like us is baby steps.
Try the bootcamp. Seriously FORCE yourself out there and TRY. If you think the bootcamp is way too hard and unreasonable, change it until you feel like its just barely less than reasonable for you. You still want it to force you to do things that you think are impossible in time, otherwise it wouldnt change you very much.
Realize that you wont go anywhere unless you try. It might be hard at first too. I know it was for me. I would finally grab my balls and get out there, and then I would fail so much. I felt so embarrassed because I kept saying and doing such stupid sh*t. You will never really understand how important failure is until you have experienced your fair share of it. I have improved so much, and I am failing less and less.
because you havent tried hard enough. You might be thinking "You have no idea... ive tried so hard..." but you obviously haven't. Your attitude won't change until your experiences have reshaped it. Your attitude will be the same as long as you stay at home and believe that you can't be the outgoing partying type.
It's your own fault that you arent changing. It's your own fault that you aren't out there dancing and having fun, and you're sitting at home instead.
Hope this helped a little.
AIM: Zelemont
RawkinKaoticStyle
Senior Don Juan
you cant become a DJ you can only BE a DJ
HollowHorizon
Senior Don Juan
Think about it... how can your attitude change when you feel the same way you did when you first started..Im shure there has been positive outcomes. That have made you feel better and more ballsy to say hi to the next one. Even a simple hi can go a long way.. Even if its short or long way down the road.
Trial and error . Try to say hi to atleast 15 girls a week
For me i have been doing this for about a week and i am already seeing much much better results..When in school my radious of talking to girls was like 2 and it moved up to like 7 and its doing better day by day..I even get more guy friends.. Its all about how you make your changes.Certain pepole need certain changes
i think you guys are right... i havent tried hard enough and i really dont have much experience. From this moment on i'll actually DO what i have read instead of THINK about it. OH I FEEL IT,
I CAN DO THIS!!
BEWARE, FOR A DON JUAN IS IN THE MAKING - AND THAT DON JUAN SHALL BE ME
thanks guys, i've actually realised that i HAVE TO DO INSTEAD OF KNOW!!!!
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! (and sosuave)
I CAN DO THIS!!
BEWARE, FOR A DON JUAN IS IN THE MAKING - AND THAT DON JUAN SHALL BE ME
thanks guys, i've actually realised that i HAVE TO DO INSTEAD OF KNOW!!!!
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! (and sosuave)
I know how you feel, I'm kind of the same way. I've been on this site for awhile and it has definitely helped, but my social progress has been slow. I read post after post on theory, technique, philosophy, mindset, body language, conversation, motivation, etc. I absorbed a ton of great information, and began to see things differently. I became familiar with the proper mindstate. I learned how attraction worked, I learned how I should talk and act, what to do and what not to do, and I kept saying "pretty soon it's gonna click."
Yet months later I still seem to be more or less where I started when it comes to girls, and this is where the frustration kicks in. Why? Why is nothing different?
The simple answer is social inaction. You can work out and improve your body, you can gain goals and direction, you can improve your self esteem and change your priorities so girls come after your own passions. But this is only the foundation. There is more to the picture!
Doing these things increases your value, but these in themselves do nothing for your social life. The bottom line is, you have to push your social limits. Your social limits aren't real; they are part of your mind, they are there because you believe they are. However, believing they aren't real doesn't automatically dissolve them either.
In The Matrix, recall when Neo first had to jump across the building gap. Neo saw it as impossible, Morpheus told him he could do it if he believed, and even showed him by doing it himself. Did this change it at all, make it look any less impossible? No. What it did do was motivate him to TRY it, something that he never would have done otherwise. And while he wasn't instantly successful that time, neither did the attempt kill him like he feared. And it was by attempting it that he pushed through that mental barrier and was later able to succeed.
You have to test your limits, show yourself that they aren't real. Take it one step at a time. I'm sure you've had opportunities to do so, and you can often feel it strongly when they happen.
You're in class and a HB is sitting next to you. She looks bored. You make eye contact, and time seems to stop as you're presented with your options. This is an opportunity to push a limit, to start a convo, make a social connection. Will you take it? I've found the best way to force myself to is to look a little ahead in the future; whenever I miss an opportunity like this because I hesitate or rationalize or whatever, I instantly feel like shìt. However, if I take the opportunity, regardless of the outcome/response, I feel awesome for just having done it.
There are countless opportunities like this. If you take them, your social limits will fall away one at a time. And when you are confident, you can make your own opportunities instead of waiting for the situation to offer you one. Take risks! Boldness is very attractive and will greatly speed up your progress.
There's a saying that's something like "You can make more friends in a week by talking to people than you could in a year by waiting for people to talk to you." The sad truth is, most people don't challenge their social limits. They have their own little cliques because these people are known, safe, comfortable. They don't usually make an effort to talk to new people, except through others (friends by association). If you want to meet people, then YOU have to be the one to start talking to THEM. And most people are receptive and friendly, or at least civil, to new people, because they don't yet know your value. They might even be a little intimidated, because you catch them off guard. When you initiate, you usually start off with the upper hand; they don't know yet what to think about you, and because you're confident enough to calmly approach them they assume that you have value.
Talk to people! Don't worry about the response, just feel good about making progress and doing something you feared. Mindset is important, but it's through action that you progress.
Yet months later I still seem to be more or less where I started when it comes to girls, and this is where the frustration kicks in. Why? Why is nothing different?
The simple answer is social inaction. You can work out and improve your body, you can gain goals and direction, you can improve your self esteem and change your priorities so girls come after your own passions. But this is only the foundation. There is more to the picture!
Doing these things increases your value, but these in themselves do nothing for your social life. The bottom line is, you have to push your social limits. Your social limits aren't real; they are part of your mind, they are there because you believe they are. However, believing they aren't real doesn't automatically dissolve them either.
In The Matrix, recall when Neo first had to jump across the building gap. Neo saw it as impossible, Morpheus told him he could do it if he believed, and even showed him by doing it himself. Did this change it at all, make it look any less impossible? No. What it did do was motivate him to TRY it, something that he never would have done otherwise. And while he wasn't instantly successful that time, neither did the attempt kill him like he feared. And it was by attempting it that he pushed through that mental barrier and was later able to succeed.
You have to test your limits, show yourself that they aren't real. Take it one step at a time. I'm sure you've had opportunities to do so, and you can often feel it strongly when they happen.
You're in class and a HB is sitting next to you. She looks bored. You make eye contact, and time seems to stop as you're presented with your options. This is an opportunity to push a limit, to start a convo, make a social connection. Will you take it? I've found the best way to force myself to is to look a little ahead in the future; whenever I miss an opportunity like this because I hesitate or rationalize or whatever, I instantly feel like shìt. However, if I take the opportunity, regardless of the outcome/response, I feel awesome for just having done it.
There are countless opportunities like this. If you take them, your social limits will fall away one at a time. And when you are confident, you can make your own opportunities instead of waiting for the situation to offer you one. Take risks! Boldness is very attractive and will greatly speed up your progress.
There's a saying that's something like "You can make more friends in a week by talking to people than you could in a year by waiting for people to talk to you." The sad truth is, most people don't challenge their social limits. They have their own little cliques because these people are known, safe, comfortable. They don't usually make an effort to talk to new people, except through others (friends by association). If you want to meet people, then YOU have to be the one to start talking to THEM. And most people are receptive and friendly, or at least civil, to new people, because they don't yet know your value. They might even be a little intimidated, because you catch them off guard. When you initiate, you usually start off with the upper hand; they don't know yet what to think about you, and because you're confident enough to calmly approach them they assume that you have value.
Talk to people! Don't worry about the response, just feel good about making progress and doing something you feared. Mindset is important, but it's through action that you progress.
I've been here for nearly two years and let me tell you something, this site is pretty good. The thing you have to realize is that this site only teaches you WHAT you might do to impress and get the girls. You have to work on HOW you do that by yourself.
seulaxplaya
Don Juan
hey there has to be some scrubs in this world. just kidding. look at your mentality. You started working out a but quit. That obviously shows you have no desire and motivation. How do we know that you didnt start changing and just quit. Results take time and practice.
Craig Reeves
Master Don Juan
The best way to take action...
Your problem is perfectly normal when it comes to women and dating. Sure you can learn all the material, know what to do and what to say, but that will do you almost no good if you do not elect to use the skills that you have learned when the time comes to do it.
The reason why you are not doing this is because you have gotten in the HABIT of NOT doing it. You have gotten into the HABIT of not approaching women, getting the emails or numbers. So the solution is to start getting into the habit of doing it.
The best way to do this is to take action on it.
For tommorrow. WRITE DOWN the number of women that you are going to approach. Yes, write it down. Because if you just keep it in your head, your mind is going to throw away the message to do it. Carry the piece of paper everywhere you go and keep it in a spot where you can easily get to it.
Keep a pen and a pad in your pocket at all times, and try your very best to follow that goal. If you do not do it that day, keep trying every single day until you do.
What you need to do is FORCE yourself into a new habit of doing things.
Your problem is perfectly normal when it comes to women and dating. Sure you can learn all the material, know what to do and what to say, but that will do you almost no good if you do not elect to use the skills that you have learned when the time comes to do it.
The reason why you are not doing this is because you have gotten in the HABIT of NOT doing it. You have gotten into the HABIT of not approaching women, getting the emails or numbers. So the solution is to start getting into the habit of doing it.
The best way to do this is to take action on it.
For tommorrow. WRITE DOWN the number of women that you are going to approach. Yes, write it down. Because if you just keep it in your head, your mind is going to throw away the message to do it. Carry the piece of paper everywhere you go and keep it in a spot where you can easily get to it.
Keep a pen and a pad in your pocket at all times, and try your very best to follow that goal. If you do not do it that day, keep trying every single day until you do.
What you need to do is FORCE yourself into a new habit of doing things.
Ded_Skin_Mask13
Banned
Thanks for posting that ABG, because those replies you've got also motivated me do put a little more emphasis in getting girls when my focus is on getting girls.
CamaroMike
Don Juan
Good, we don't need your afc genes passing on. Go be a metrosexual and watch queer eye (haha good call vercetti).
HollowHorizon
Senior Don Juan
If u cant run with the dogs stay on the pourch