I've been going ghost. Should I stop?

[The LadyKiller]

A few weeks ago, I invited a HB I've gotten to know a good bit (our companies work together, but we have no effect on each other's jobs) out with some of my friends who are in our social circle. She was initially responsive as usual - she's shown several IOI's, but once I mentioned two of the friends (guy and girl who are dating), she updated them that she was out with her best girl friend, but kept me in the dark. The next day, she texted me an apology. Because I felt she was trying to string me along and wanted attention - keep in mind this isn't a first-time thing, I didn't respond. And I haven't said a word to her since. Since that night, I have gone "ghost" on her. I feel my execution has been good because I've been committed to it.

But, as the thread title suggests, is there a time to stop the "ghosting" and explain why I've been freezing her out (in a confident, "I'm not taking this s***" fashion)? I don't like to play games, but this was a rare time I felt it was necessary. I'm virtually guaranteed to run into her at work and/or outside of work in the near future. Our friends know each other and are friendly enough, so I am not looking to create a division or mass freeze out.

On her end, I think she has an idea of what I'm doing. I'm normally an outgoing, talkative guy, so my silence is deafening. We keep in touch fairly often - if we go no contact for a week, that's unusual. It's been 2-3 weeks and I haven't even attempted a "hi." But because she's probably caught on, she's not talking either (I thought she'd initiate breaking up the silence, she hasn't). She took to social media to try and cryptically jab me (I have a small scar that she jokes about, and recently she tweets that Scar from the Lion King is the only one with a scar that she likes). but it wasn't very productive, so I still didn't break the silence. Additionally, one of our mutual girl friends who I get along well with randomly asks "What's up?" in our conversations like she's looking for me to divulge something.

The final factor is what's going on around me. I've had 4 plates crash in the span of a month (two relocated, one just got exclusive with her bf, one is no longer a possibility due to other reasons). All of my close friends are suddenly in relationships - including my best friend, whose good looks prevailed over his AFC behavior and got the girl.

Apologies for the long post, but should I keep up the "ghost" game or give it up and talk to her? If I give it up, I'd explain why I froze her out (felt disrespected, got the feeling I was sometimes jumping through hoops, etc.). If I continue to go "ghost," that's fine too. I live in a low-population area, so there aren't endless HBs walking around, but maybe a new girl shows up.

 

[Tomo]

Keep the ghost. If you see her, obviously be courteous but don't invest i.e. say hi and smile but don't stick around. The problem when we hit a low point is we grasp at anything we think will help drag us out of the problem we are in and we get more desperate the more bleak it looks. Looks like she still has your balls wrapped in your fingers if you think little things of coincidence can coincide with how you are perceiving such situations i.e. the scar scenario. It could be anything and that is why you should keep freezing her out til you don't give a toss about her. I've been in that scenario and honestly most of these girls could not care less whats going with you etc. They have enough guy friends lapping them up and their life to carry on. You become more interesting the more you freeze and not give a f*ck.

Take this point as having your slate wiped clean. Invest in your hobbies and things you have been meaning to do and become more productive. Surely you'll have the few friends who are single or just make new friends and go out and start loading your plates up again. Before you know it, you'll be back to things as normal.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Continue the freeze out, if you see her at work be polite and courteous. If she asks why you haven't contacted her tell her you've been busy, she'll think its a lie, but it doesn't matter wtf she thinks.

You're boosting your attraction by being a challenge. She fvcked up and now she's reaping the consequences. In the meantime your goal should be : Goals & Self Improvement.

Hit the gym, eat healthy, invest in things you love to do ( Art , Music, that long lost buisness project) excel in the workplace, look good, and slowly get back to spinning plates.

She'll come around, believe it, but if you suddenly break the freeze out and say "hey, I was ignoring you because....." You instantly reversed the effects of the freeze out and wasted 2 weeks.

When we reach a low point we want the nearest exit, but think about like this, if your trapped in a pit and there's two ladders, the one on the left is close but is over a crocodile nest, the one on the right is two days away but is smoove sailing, would you take take that extra walk ?
Power through Man

 

[The LadyKiller]

You're right, I'm continuing the "ghost." Patience is the answer, even if I don't have much of it. Hoping that in time - sooner rather than later, things return to normal.