Its very difficult

[theapprentice]

Hey guys. I live my life in comparison with other people, and based on that I value myself, meaning that I compare myself and feel accordingly.

I've been feeling bad about myself because when I look around me and go to a young hangout spot or a nice place for couples to go to, it always makes me feel sad about myself, I say "How come I dont have friends who like to do cool things or how come I dont know any girls?"

I try and keep positive about myself and tell myself that everybody lives there own life and that worrying and feeling bad about something wont solve your problems but only make you feel bad.

However Im having a hard time keeping positive about myself and my life.

I understand that keeping positive is very important because if you dont love yourself then why should other people love you?

Its just being positive about yourself all the time is very hard, its very easy to look around me and feel bad about my life, but its very hard to look at things in a postitive way.

Any advice?

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Any advice I would have to give would take far too long to write. But If you PM me I can give you a source of some motivational material that helped to get me out of my depression.

 

[theapprentice]

anyone

anyone else?

 

[Phyzzle]

Bottom of the page, DJ Bible.

Plus, this quote by Voltaire:

"Show me one man who has not cursed his life, who has not at times thought himself the most unfortunate person ever born, and I will cast myself headfirst into the sea."

 

[i am me]

little things like talkin to a cute girl or playin a sport wit ur friends can boost your mood up for the rest of the day

 

[theapprentice]

See

See I know that doing things like talking to a girl or going out with your friends cheers you up and it does in fact do that.

But when you are by yourself or when you dont have anyone to talk to or your too scared to start a conversation, or when your friends are busy.

When its just you and your empty head and your feeling down.

Firstly is it natural to feel what I feel, or am I feeling way more than I should be?

What do you guys do to pull yourself out of a mental rut when you dont have anything to pull you out like a conversation or friends

 

[Ace of Flames]

You need to be your own friend. You have to build up a healthy amount of self-confidence, and when you start getting down, remember that you are the sh!t, and in your mind, you have to psych yourself up and pull yourself out of your funk.

And living your life based on others is just about the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Other people aren't living the great lives you think they are. Its all just a front. You only see the outside. So don't think you're the only one that's feeling whatever you're feeling. You aren't that special.

 

[DarkLight]

I think about other people around the world, countries, situations that don't have an inch of the blessings I have. I think about the starving peeps in Africa, the invalids in India, the kid who's father just died this morning from a random bomb in a war torn country. I think about death. It never lies to me... and gives me the reality check to clarify my perspective.

Doesn't sound like uplifting material... but straight up, its the real!
And after I get some worldly perspective of how good I got it... I can't help but to see it everywhere in all its manifestations.

My health, food, family, friends, arms/legs, a cute babydoll that smiles at me walking down the street, the sound of birds chirping outside my window, trees in the wind, a 1min drive to the ocean, mexican food, lol... etc.

Another thing I do... is I force a chosen quality on myself.
Even if its a crazy respnse to the actual content of the situation... it entrains my mind in the direction I want it to see.

Example.
Feeling really sh!tty bout something. I'll sit there, and rather than try to lift myself out of it (away from it)... I'll sit with it, and try to enjoy it as much as possible. Or recieve it in gratitude. Just be grateful for this feeling, or whatever it is.

Its an amazing thing.
A. You integrate the low feelings into a higher freq. feeling (so to speak)
B. You learn to dominate your mind/life... into your own chosen reality. (Self-Mastery)
C. You always have a positive chosen path/response out of sh!tty scenarios/feelings.
D. Over time, such responses become second nature to you... and the overall pattern starts to fabricate a new better life/perspective for you unconciously and automatically.

--------------------
Its ok to be down. Just don't get lost in it.
If your going through darkness (feelings, situations, etc.)... ok.
But move through it centered in yourself, and in control of your response to it. To give you an analogy... always carry a torch. Let that torch be your conscious decision to feel gratitude toward such feelings, or whatever. Like its just another part of life, making the whole experience that much richer. You'll soon be absorbing such forces in your life, and transforming your overall energy level into that of a higher resonance.

Give your heart to every moment... it will be like mixing white paint into black paint. Over time you'll transform it.

My father is and has always been chronically depressed. I guess after reading this post, and knowing this... you'll understand why my name is what it is on here,

Hope you got some light out this.
Peace'

 

[Analytic]

All the think positive and be confidence is getting redundant. Confidence and positive thinking comes from action, experience and acomplishments, not a force of will. You could fake it for awhile but it all come crashing down eventually.

If you need friends, you have to take practical steps to improve it. You need to take action, not some wishy washy mental masturbation crap you read here. Go out and join some sport club, take up cooking classes or whatever. Do whatever you have to do to improve your life but for your sake STOP thinking so much and start DOING.

 

[theapprentice]

Thanks Dark Light

Thanks guys. Thanks for your great post dark light.

Are you basically saying that I should accept myself and my reality as they are and enjoy what I have even if its not what I want.

To see these negative feelings coming at me and then learn to keep my mind focsed on a positive light.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Stop comparing yourself to others, it's apples and oranges; you'll always find someone who's in a better place. Compare yourself to who you were previously, it's the only way to tell if you are on the path to who you would like to become.