"It's up to you now..."

[cedd]

hi,

I wanted to have your thoughts about a girlfriend telling you after some confessions..."it's up to you now..."
To illustrate my question, i give you an example...

Some days ago, one of the girls I'm regularly seeing (but am not exclusive with) made me some confessions (by email) she knows I will probably get angry about.
The fact is we are in a kind of crisis in our "relationship" (if we can call it a relationship..).
She wants me to be exclusive but I dont want to cause shes a drama queen and very unstable...one day I'm an ass.hol.e, the other day her god.

I guess she did it because she had felt some remorse but by saying me "it's up to you..." she wants to let me decide between keeping see her or walking away...
she said that if I try to understand the circumstances I will keep on seeing her anyway (i.e. try to fix the crisis) but it's up to me now...

Even if she do love me and keep chasing me, i think her IL must be around 51% and shes torn between staying or leaving. Probably because of her insecurities and the fear of being alone.

I see that as a test and a will to avoid a honest confrontation.
And finally, not able to take a decision by herself, I did it for HER and moved on. NEXT.

what do you guys think when a girl says "it's up to you..." after telling you some "confession" she knows youre gonna get upset about ?

 

[Truman181]

If you don't want to be in a relationship with her, why do you even care?

If your just in it for sex, make that clear and tell her it's up to her if she walks away. Put the ball back in her court.

 

[cedd]

I don't really care cause I nexted her but Im just asking about your thoughts on that subjet, not judging my example which was only there for illustrate my question.

I guess most of you already have encountered such situation

cheers

 

[mtnkng]

just a few flags in here to ring up the BPD flag.

Nexting is best case whether she's BPD or not.

Yep....the "its up to you" line is her not taking personal responsibility. You were probably in status quo mode and she was worried about getting closer so you got a test.

 

[Scaramouche]

Yeah...I think you are a cool operator...You certainly are in a relationship,seem to have her eating out of your hands,you should be able to have your cake and eat it too....you are right in avoiding an honest interface,if she pushes it stay humourous always smile,evade questions,stay amiable and romantic,establish tactile contact....Whatever you do,never never be honest with a Woman,In affairs of the heart it concedes the high ground,you will spend the evening on the back foot justifying your words and consolidating her power base...no keep a bit of mystery while always suggesting she is the only one...honesty will always be met with ultimatums...So just cruise and be detached...