It's the journey, not the destination...

[PokerInTheRear]

I can't express how hopeless I felt when I realized my marriage was over. It was what I had worked hard for. I built a life, a family, and a future.

What divorce did for me was, it opened my eyes - wide. I realized that I wasn't the slightest bit upset about losing my wife (whom I'd been with for 16 years). It was the loss of the dream - the destination I had reached.

Life is about enjoying the journey. We need to embrace that journey and not seek out the final destination. Why? Because there is no destination. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

This same line of thought should be applied to our relationships and dealings with women. Too often, we have an image of getting the girl, getting comfortable, and getting married. This is not a knock on marriage, as it has it's place. However, we too often see marriage much like a wide receiver sees the end-zone.

Since the end of my marriage and the subsequent death of the dream I had always held, I have struggled a bit with this question:

If you take marriage out of the equation... If you take the concept of 'owning' one woman out of the mix... If you drop the concept of forever, what do you have left?

The only answer I have found is to be present, free, and enjoy the journey.

 

[countermart]

“Call no man unhappy until he is married”, Socrates.

As a divorced guy after a 15 year relationship I agree with you.

One of the realisations is the end of the dream of the “perfect future”.

That people, especially women change.

The death of belief that a women will do what she said she would do.

The realisation that there is no unconditional love.

That love is simply a contract that says, “I will love you while you stay and act a certain way”.

That actions are the only truth.

That marriage today is nothing more than a business contact under the law.

That great love can turn just as easily to great hate.

That you can never fully understand, or know another person.

That security is an illusion.

That even in the midst of a beautiful relationship, you are alone.

That the end point is death, with no rounded out nice edges.

Life has presented you with the truth, however unpalatable. You can step back into the Matrix or you can live in reality.

Life – It is what it is.

Zen: “So pleased to meet you. I have nothing to say.”

Countermart

 

[st_99]

I can't express how hopeless I felt when I realized my marriage was over. It was what I had worked hard for. I built a life, a family, and a future.

What divorce did for me was, it opened my eyes - wide. I realized that I wasn't the slightest bit upset about losing my wife (whom I'd been with for 16 years). It was the loss of the dream - the destination I had reached.

Life is about enjoying the journey. We need to embrace that journey and not seek out the final destination. Why? Because there is no destination. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

This same line of thought should be applied to our relationships and dealings with women. Too often, we have an image of getting the girl, getting comfortable, and getting married. This is not a knock on marriage, as it has it's place. However, we too often see marriage much like a wide receiver sees the end-zone.

Since the end of my marriage and the subsequent death of the dream I had always held, I have struggled a bit with this question:

If you take marriage out of the equation... If you take the concept of 'owning' one woman out of the mix... If you drop the concept of forever, what do you have left?

The only answer I have found is to be present, free, and enjoy the journey.

I agree that you have to let go of the notion that any women is "yours" forever.

I think if you can really get that sunk into your head, in an ironic twisted way, your relationship will be better for it.