I am talking here about those of us who have been rejected after dating someone. Barring you being a complete emotional tyrant or abuser, chances are the rejection has nothing to do with you.
This might sound like a simple realization, but for many of us it's hard to internalize. We sit and think "What did I do wrong?" and "What is wrong with me?" The answer : Nothing. Chances are if you did something glaringly wrong, you'd know it and not be asking yourself such questions.
Here's a personal example from my distant past to illustrate my point: In HS I was dating a girl for more than a year, but she was Catholic and wouldn't sleep with me so I dumped her for a hot girl I met one day. I had all of two dates with that girl before I found out she was worthless, and then proceeded to get back with my longterm GF. Needless to say we were together about 2 more months. She knew why I had dumped her, and it was never the same. When she broke up with me, I didn't need to ask "What did I do?" I knew perfectly well.
But in other cases where you date someone for a reasonable period, and then she proceeds to ditch you, chances are it has nothing to do with you. If she dated you for that long, there couldn't be anything severely wrong with your looks or personality. Instead it's about them. Maybe they are emotionally unstable, a golddigger, not ready to open up, or any other of a million other reasons. The important thing to remember is that you probably did nothing "wrong", you just weren't right for her. (And conversely therefore she wasn't right for you!) Just like I am sure most of us have dumped women who we liked, but weren't right for us.
In other words, relationships can suck. You get burned. There are two ways of dealing with it. The first is to get bitter and close off all possibility of having another relationship that means anything. The second is to resign yourself to the pain. You are stronger and more masculine for putting yourself out there.
A lot of people don't realize this, but it's more manly to put yourself out there emotionally. Think about it. People here advise taking "risks". What bigger risk is there than opening up to another person after you have scoped them out enough to have as good of an idea as you can that they are worthy? Sure sometimes you misjudge and it sucks, but sleeping with girl after girl, or becoming bitter aren't going to give you the result you want.
A lot of guys want to sleep with lots of women. I have (still want to and do to an extent) but I ask why LOTS? Because they never really fill the void that makes you feel hollow; its an emotional void, not a sexual one. If it were purely sexual, pulling one off would take care of it.
To sum up: Take heart, it's not you. You did nothing wrong. Just learn from it, pick your @ss up and be prepared for the next high (and perhaps low) that gets thrown your way.
This might sound like a simple realization, but for many of us it's hard to internalize. We sit and think "What did I do wrong?" and "What is wrong with me?" The answer : Nothing. Chances are if you did something glaringly wrong, you'd know it and not be asking yourself such questions.
Here's a personal example from my distant past to illustrate my point: In HS I was dating a girl for more than a year, but she was Catholic and wouldn't sleep with me so I dumped her for a hot girl I met one day. I had all of two dates with that girl before I found out she was worthless, and then proceeded to get back with my longterm GF. Needless to say we were together about 2 more months. She knew why I had dumped her, and it was never the same. When she broke up with me, I didn't need to ask "What did I do?" I knew perfectly well.
But in other cases where you date someone for a reasonable period, and then she proceeds to ditch you, chances are it has nothing to do with you. If she dated you for that long, there couldn't be anything severely wrong with your looks or personality. Instead it's about them. Maybe they are emotionally unstable, a golddigger, not ready to open up, or any other of a million other reasons. The important thing to remember is that you probably did nothing "wrong", you just weren't right for her. (And conversely therefore she wasn't right for you!) Just like I am sure most of us have dumped women who we liked, but weren't right for us.
In other words, relationships can suck. You get burned. There are two ways of dealing with it. The first is to get bitter and close off all possibility of having another relationship that means anything. The second is to resign yourself to the pain. You are stronger and more masculine for putting yourself out there.
A lot of people don't realize this, but it's more manly to put yourself out there emotionally. Think about it. People here advise taking "risks". What bigger risk is there than opening up to another person after you have scoped them out enough to have as good of an idea as you can that they are worthy? Sure sometimes you misjudge and it sucks, but sleeping with girl after girl, or becoming bitter aren't going to give you the result you want.
A lot of guys want to sleep with lots of women. I have (still want to and do to an extent) but I ask why LOTS? Because they never really fill the void that makes you feel hollow; its an emotional void, not a sexual one. If it were purely sexual, pulling one off would take care of it.
To sum up: Take heart, it's not you. You did nothing wrong. Just learn from it, pick your @ss up and be prepared for the next high (and perhaps low) that gets thrown your way.
