It's Complicated - Need Expert Advice (on dating, what else?)

[NightlyWanderer]

So this is my first post on this, so I'm going to be a needy punk and start by asking for help. Sorry.

It's complicated. That's all I can start with. Here are the two basic points:
-She already rejected me.
-I'm in the friendzone, but making progress.

Ok. Now for the complications, if that weren't enough.

So during a party a few months ago I asked this chick out. I don't normally ask girls out except if I'm really, really, REALLY into them. And she said no, for two reasons: A) She wasn't interested (later told me she liked me as a friend) and B) She doesn't date.

Now I'm sure I can convince her to strike B out if we get together. The problem is A, and that's where I need help with.

It started with this party we both went to. We don't go to much parties together, and I hung out with her for most of the night. It was a bad move, I know, but you have to understand I wasn't into her at that point. It was only after she jokingly rejected me that I told myself "Damn - Now I like her."

At another party, I had been working up the courage to ask her out. This time, the mood was different. It wasn't a small gathering kind of party, but a full-on highschool party, with drama and all. Here, I worked up the courage to get her alone and ask her out. No deal.

Now, a few months later, I've been making progress. I stopped talking to her completely. The last time we spoke on any platform was around a month ago. Since then, she's had exams, but the last time, there was definite movement. I had gone to see her friend (guy friend), and found he was playing guitar in front of chicks. Having fun and feeling confident, I sat next to him and we decided to have a laugh. He began playing rap beats and modern radio stuff. I parodied a couple artists, like One Direction. We began to draw a crowd of 10-15, mostly girls, and I was routinely making them laugh with intentionally bad singing and face gestures. The girl I liked noticed the commotion and sat down as one of the many spectators. Merely seconds later, she asked her friend to move, and now she sat directly next to me. It wasn't for a better view though - she had a great one where she was, and when she sat next to me it got worse. She had been the one starting the text conversations up till then, and I feel like this was progress.

I need advice. I don't see her much, and we don't go to the same parties. I have one more chance - prom - in March. The problem is, I already asked her best friend out. That was two years ago, but they still laugh about it. There was this other embarrassing moment I had, and she was watching. That was a year ago.

What should I do? It's been more than a couple of months since I got rejected, but I obviously still really like her. What can I do to get her to like me? I don't want to overthink things, but I'm planning on purposely staying away up till the final hours of prom, then giving myself a burst of confidence, and asking her in a suave manner to dance. I'm not shy or awkward, and I am generally that guy in the group who makes people laugh - even though I know I take it too far at times.

--tl;dr--

She rejected me a long time ago, I still like her, and she's dropping small hints.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

She is stringing you along whether she knows it or not. Be frank with her and it will get the best possible response. It will be hard, but say "Look, I like you as more than a friend and I want it to develop that way." She will nearly certainly react badly. Next say "Well, I don't see this ever becoming something more so I don't think we should see each other again." Then get up and walk off.

I did literally that exact thing to a very hot girl I liked, she chased me down and blew me in a park. But I doubt that will happen. More likely she'll text you straight away, which you'll ignore, call you and get no response and ask to hang out a few weeks later despite. In that position you have power. I hate to say that but it's true and necessary.

 

[NightlyWanderer]

Alright, I'll take that into consideration. When should I do it?

 

[DanZy]

Now

 

[NightlyWanderer]

Thing is, she has exams going on at the moment, and will do for the next week or so. And her friends are all good friends of mine, so if I mess up this will seriously screw me over. Again.

 

[Alvafe]

well from waht I can say is simple, stop looking for her, drop all contact and don't bother to talk with her if she starts anything keep it simple and excuse yourself, don't think all the work you are doing is worth, she do not deserve that kind of work from you, she was the one who was suposed to work to get with you

but if you really want to give one last shot just so you can say I at least tried, see somewhere you can meet pretty much your last cahnce you think you have is out of window, she would already have someone, you just don't know about it, or if you really both go alone(not likely because you should go with a girl) you can try to build something and kiss her, don't ask talk about your "feelings" just kiss her,


just a side note the thing about she don't date, she lied, she don't date you or guys like you if you prefer, also if you are afraid of your social falldown for trying to get her then again you shouldn't bother, you should do things in a way you want and not keep guessing what other will think.

 

[NightlyWanderer]

well from waht I can say is simple, stop looking for her, drop all contact and don't bother to talk with her if she starts anything keep it simple and excuse yourself, don't think all the work you are doing is worth, she do not deserve that kind of work from you, she was the one who was suposed to work to get with you

but if you really want to give one last shot just so you can say I at least tried, see somewhere you can meet pretty much your last cahnce you think you have is out of window, she would already have someone, you just don't know about it, or if you really both go alone(not likely because you should go with a girl) you can try to build something and kiss her, don't ask talk about your "feelings" just kiss her,


just a side note the thing about she don't date, she lied, she don't date you or guys like you if you prefer, also if you are afraid of your social falldown for trying to get her then again you shouldn't bother, you should do things in a way you want and not keep guessing what other will think.

No, she actually does not date, it's something very common where I live. It's much more religious than places like the U.S., and we talked about it a couple years ago.

Thanks for the advice. I might ask her to dance then just kiss her on the dance floor.

 

[BookWorm]

Found this while lurking on another pua site:

Tell her you like her, don't be needy about it just say it simply and then leave it. Dont ask her if she feels the same, dont pour your heart out, just tell her you like her.

It will put the thought of you and her in your head.

If she comes back and says no we're friends bla bla bla, if you're cool with that then say ok. If you're not ok with that, tell her you're not ok with it. Dont be a ***** and just bend over to please her.

The last 2 girls i've really liked, i told them and they both said no we're friends - then i said sorry im not looking to be friends, we can still hang out but you cant expect me to not try it on with you, because im attracted to you, and thats just how things are. So if you dont want that then we just wont hang out and thats how its got to be - stick to your ****ing guns bro.

I ended up dating both of these girls.

 

[NightlyWanderer]

Thanks, appreciate all the advice you guys are giving!

 

[Jack Wealthy]

No, she actually does not date, it's something very common where I live. It's much more religious than places like the U.S., and we talked about it a couple years ago.

Thanks for the advice. I might ask her to dance then just kiss her on the dance floor.

Yogi Berra level quote right here: No one dates until they start dating.

 

[NightlyWanderer]

Yogi Berra level quote right here: No one dates until they start dating.

If you want to look at it that way, be my guest, and I understand why that quote seemed dumb.