It's been about a year since I first really started feeling "DJ"..and I don't anymore

[squirrels]

It was about a year ago that I first started really feeling like I was getting the hang of women. I could go out to a bar and pull two or three numbers in the same night, from women telling me they hoped I wasn't a "player". I had girls waiting to hear from me back home while I was at a club at the beach banging other chicks. I was really starting to feel like it "wasn't a thing."

I don't know when or how it began...maybe it was the time I lost some friends from acting too far out, or one of those girls who got creeped out by me because I put "the moves" on her too soon, but that whole thing seemed to reverse completely.

Now I honestly feel like I'm back to pre-SoSuave times. Talking to random women feels awkward. Kino feels unnatural and I can't seem to figure out how to work it into a conversation. I go out to bars and clubs and I feel out of place....I feel like I'm "outside the vibe" and I really would rather be somewhere else, like at home on my couch playing video games.

I dunno if age has something to do with it...I'm 25...maybe I'm becoming jaded or experiencing some kind of desperation. I just don't feel any desire any more...maybe it's too much porn, I dunno. I can't get riled up over the prospect of hooking up with a pretty woman any more. It's almost kind of a "romantic depression". And sometimes it spills over into other aspects of my life as well.

Has anyone else here gone through this kind of total reversal? If so, someone please give me some pointers to shake this. I've probably posted sh!t like this before...it's starting to worry me now, though. I've only got so many more years worth of viable "dating" time...I DO want to get the most out of it. I certainly don't want to fall back into boring-ass AFC land.

 

[sixtyfwee]

Was there a build up to this? How long did the reversal process take?

Describe the 'romantic depression'.

Sorry for all the questions, I'm looking for the core belief/motivation that started this chain of events. I suspect you may be able to very rapidly get back to your peak, if you are even truely off it.

 

[myfriendblu]

Dude, your just in a bit of a slump...I go threw them all the time. You gotta remember, its completely natural to be AFC, its completely natural to be shy and its difficult to talk to strangers and people you barely know. Human beings are naturally shy, modest and solitare people. you have to kinda make an effort to extend yourself outside that realm. So sometimes the effort will seem natural and easy, other times not. Just roll with the flow, your game is always gonna be up and down, just roll with it....

 

[Climax]

squirrels: I think maybe its time for you to find a girl and settle down Go on a few dates till you find 1 girl that u "click" with, then let love lead the way.... If it works out for you, being in love with another girl that is in love with you will feel better than ANY amount of chicks that u can "get with"... You have had your fun and experiance, and i guess each one of us just need to know when its time to settle down etc... I'm not saying that u wont be able to "get back in the game" again, I'm saying that in my opinion its time to start looking into settling down with a chick and falling madly in love with eachother.

If you do not wish to settle down and what not, then i would suggest that you just take a week or 2 break from the whole dj thing, hang around with your friends etc, and just have fun without doing any DJ stuff... Use this time to gather your thoughts and become emotionally and mentally stronger... use this time to think out what you want to do with your life and what u want as a whole.... and then after this you should be able to make a clear and right decision of what u need to do, and hopefully this "romantic depression" will be overcome and forgotten.

Good Luck

 

[S0LID]

It's that time of the year. When everyone seems in love, and kinda run it in your face.

Also being a DJ is like a sport your constantly playing, full time hobby. I was taking to a pro skate boarder and even he says, "I almost hate it on times". This is just a slump, and the love of it will come back!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Being on Sosuave continuously and hearing of all the girl chasing and you are not getting the girls reminds you of your failure moreso than if "getting the girl" wasn't constantly on your mind.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself and act as if you have approach every girl every time - constant DJ'ing is taxing! Only approach when the desire is there - the right woman will bring about that desire in time!!

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Don't put so much pressure on yourself and act as if you have approach every girl every time - constant DJ'ing is taxing! Only approach when the desire is there - the right woman will bring about that desire in time!!

That COULD be a big part of it. I've met some interesting girls, some boring ones, but one or two that have just COMPLETELY blown me away and that I'd probably set up an LTR with if they didn't live so far away.

And it seems like lately the women I've been meeting fall far short of that standard. It's like when you talk to them they have the same answers to every question. They all have some boring "consultant" or "administrative assistant" job or they're going to school for either Nursing or Elementary Ed, they all listen to the same music, blah blah blah.

I wonder if it's the places I've been going to. Lately I've been skipping out on the full-blown clubs and the college bars and heading to some more "yuppie" bars where people my own age tend to congregate...but it seems like a lot of the bar-going girls my own age are of that boring garden-variety jaded "independent woman" type. You know, the typical American girl age 24-29, who thinks she's too old to have any fun but too young to respect men.

The problem is that the kinds of things I like doing don't give me a lot of opportunities to meet new women, so I'm pretty much stuck with the bars and clubs. Maybe I need to break back into the younger scene or go to some of these clubs where people go casually or once in a while instead of hanging out at places where it's the same sh!t all the time.

I've also been trolling MySpace.com, but when you troll, most of what you dredge up is bottom-feeders. Only occassionally do you find something worthwhile.

I don't think it's that I want a long-term relationship. In fact, it's kind of just the opposite right now. I want to get out and experience more women. I want to be physically intimate with them and go out with them and have fun, but I don't feel like incorporating any of them into my life right now...don't feel like setting aside the time to "make something work."

I honestly don't know. Even this one girl I'm seeing now...we get along great, she's REALLY into me, and I enjoy hanging out with her and fooling around with her, etc...but something about it just doesn't feel natural. As fun as she is to hang out with, I'd rather have her as a "friend with benefits". I dont' WANT a girlfriend. I don't NEED someone else to be a major part of my life right now...just someone I can have fun with and we can enjoy each other's company, socially or sexually or whatever, and then go home at the end of the night.

 

[smooth666]

It might be the time of the year . It is cold, women wear way too much clothes, there is not as much sunlight as in summer. Wait till spring
I have these ups and downs all the time. When I am down,I need really strong stimuli by females to give a shiet....
Fokus on other things for a while. Maybe even leave the board for while. Take care.

 

[dearsappho]

Originally posted by squirrels
I dont' WANT a girlfriend. I don't NEED someone else to be a major part of my life right now...just someone I can have fun with and we can enjoy each other's company, socially or sexually or whatever, and then go home at the end of the night.

Makes complete sense to me m8y...im looking for the same thing...damned if I can find it tho...