its been a month... should i call/ send a message

[needsomehelp]

hey

in the beginning of june, i managed to get a really nice looking girl.
everything was going fine. we'd been together for just a week when she invited me to her graduation. whilst there she indicated that she wanted "space" or something. i got a bit pissed, drank a bit, then broke up with her.
of course i regreted it badly afterwards. i gave her a call after 2 days and apologized for some of the mean stuff i said. but then it was already too late. she was going out of town for two months.

1 month has passed.
should i give her a call/ send a message or something.

or should i wait with doing that until she gets back to town?


Advantages of calling her: when she gets back, i wont feel like a stranger to her.
Disadvantages of calling her: it might seem like im desperate and dont get around to meeting girls a lot. also, if she has a summer fling going on wherever she is, she might not appreciate it if i call.

What do you reckon?

 

[jester1x]

Honestly, if a girl is requesting "space" after dating for only a week, I would leave it (her) alone. To me, it's a rather strange reaction, unless you were doing something in such a very short period of time to make her feel that way?

It wouldn't affect your situation that much more to contact her, but I wouldn't expect anything from her in return.

 

[needsomehelp]

i really wasnt doing anything all that strange to make her feel that way.

she called me up an evening, asked if i wanted to go out that night. i was like "yeah fine". so i send her a really sweet message after saying goodbye that night saying "i already miss you".

naturally, thats a heartmelter and she told me so.


i mean, yeah, we did kiss a bit on her graduation but she told me something about not passing a 3 day test of not calling her.


i guess either she was no longer into me or just a pretty wierd person.

 

[libre]

She's 19 and making you pass tests and jump through oops and loops. I wish you good luck because you could be in for an interesting ride if you play along. If you do try to play games with her, be strategic and cut it short if you get more aggravation then pleasure.

 

[christz]

"i miss you already" just because she invited you to a grad party?

wow man, how long did you know her before popping off a line like that? and when you got her number did you go home right away and call her?

if i were that girl, i would think you were the clingy type and defenitly want space just to see if i was right about what i thought, see your reaction.

and your reaction was to get drunk, get mad and break up with her which shows more of your personality that she probably don't like. Because lets face it man, the reason you flipped out like that is because you were thrown off gaurd because what you thought was solid intrest really wasen't

she hasen't called you in a month because she doesn't want to. I've had girls call me on their vacations, needless to say if she wanted to speak to you she would. take this as a life lesson

 

[Qmanchoo]

I agree completely with christz.

I think what you need to do here is go out and meet a bunch more women to get your confidence, ego, and self esteem up. No MAN on this planet should have any thoughts in the REALM of missing a girl after only knowing her such a short time. Driving you to anger and drink after just that? The only woman that's ever done that to me was after a one and a half year LTR breakup that I didn't see coming.

I already miss you (after a week) is no a heart melter at your stage of the game man…it's putting an iron padlock on her steel chastity belt by showing her that’s all you got in your hand to try and get into her pants.

Missing someone naturally implies emotional attachment. She said it was sweet to be nice, but when she thinks about it later on after the initial emotional response she’s going to think “This feels wrong, I’ve only known him for a little while and we hardly made a connection, I feel smothered!”

Move on, find more girls. By you dating other women you will become much more attractive in her eyes if you, for some reason, want to salvage something in the future.

Some future advice that I've found extremely helpful:

The ony thing a girl cares about when you first get to know her, in the first few months, are...and pretty much in this order from firt meeting on...

1. Your "look" (style and composure) even though facial looks can help they are not all that important in the end usually (and if they are you don't want someone that superficial unelss it's just for a lay) And your look may be "dirty mother ****er" or "suit and tie" it's more about finding someone similar than what exactly your look IS. (mean don't change it if it's not YOU so to speak)
2. If you entertain her and have fun with her (get her to like you, have an interesting, funny, mysterious, intriguing personality)
3. That you have social value (a life, friends, interests, hobbies) outside of her.
4. How similar you are to her (connection) but not purposefully overdoing it by making things up.
5. That you're about as equally as smart as her or smarter (she doesn't really LOOK for this, well sometimes, but have you every respected or been attracted to a girl that was a lot dumber than you for other than sexual purposes?)
6. Always be a man. Don't let her put you down, play games with you, and don't accept anything your usually not willing to just because "she's special" because she's really not. Really.

Try very hard to not show weakness up front. They make think it's cute and say AWWWW but it's not making them want you.

Anyway that's my 2 cents.

Anything outside of that is pretty useless to focus on when you're getting started.