Its been a long time

[triplexxx]

Hi Guys,

Its been a long time since i was here in DJ forum. Maybe you know the reason why i am here again.

I want to tell you guys that life must go on even though you failed. I am telling you this because i do not want for you to be like me, living in hell.

Maybe i could share with you guys what i learned from all of my mistakes.

I have a family now, i have 2 kids (4 and 1 yrs old). I know life is unfair that i have to leave my kids because of my wife. I cannot take it anymore, i may kill myself if i continue my relationship with her.

 

[Tictac]

Don't adopt permanent solutions to short-term problems. If you want to compare Hell on Earth stories, PM me.

You are 34. You are bigger than your problems, stronger than you know and your kids need you.

There is such a thing as parallel parenting.

And there is life after 'her', no matter how you think and feel about things right now.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Tic Tac,
You are just so right in the advice you give....I don't really think this young guy has "Failed"....By whose standard?...He deserves a Purple heart these days for trying...Triplexxx your kids need you around them!

 

[L B]

Sh!t happens. You go into damage control, fix the problem, then work toward a better tomorrow.

Easier said than done, but you just have to do it.

 

[triplexxx]

thank you guys for the motivation.

This is why im saying that im livin in hell.

My wife has other man since we've married last 2002 and to make my story short, i do not know if the kids are mine. It hurts so bad and i'm so depressed right now.

 

[AW1983]

thank you guys for the motivation.

This is why im saying that im livin in hell.

My wife has other man since we've married last 2002 and to make my story short, i do not know if the kids are mine. It hurts so bad and i'm so depressed right now.

Damn man, so sorry to hear that. I haven't been in such a situation so I don't feel qualified to advise you, but I've had some sh!tty things happen in life, and you know what? It always goes on. The darkest hour is just before the dawn.

Good luck my man, and consider a paternity test for the kids at some point so you don't get saddled with child support...

 

[Down Low]

I feel the same way. Tried to commit suicide by [getting drunk sometimes and] falling asleep at the wheel several times. I can't go on living with her. So the only possible way forward is to live without her. As my sig says:

__________________

I am not her man. She can't stand the thought of me touching her. She's dripping with other men's semen. She is ashamed to be seen with me. She never misses an opportunity to disrespect me. Everything I do is wrong. I am the problem. She got what she wanted from me. She says "I hate you so much I could kill you." Going away forever will make her happy again.

 

[triplexxx]

Feel sorry to here that. But you must do something to Solve the problem.
Escape is not the solution.!

I know. The only solution that come to my mind is to work and live abroad. I need to be alone and think for a while. I know that she will have a lot of time with him and its fine. I have to move on, there is nothing more i can do, she totally ruined our relationship and our family.

She knew that i know she have a relationship with the other man and that she is ****ing with other men as well.

 

[sodbuster]

DNA tests are cheap,do them. Should be a site where you take cheek swabs of the kids and you and mail them in. Have the results mailed to WORK,not home. IF they aren't yours....bail with a clear conscience.

 

[triplexxx]

DNA tests are cheap,do them. Should be a site where you take cheek swabs of the kids and you and mail them in. Have the results mailed to WORK,not home. IF they aren't yours....bail with a clear conscience.

Thanks. Your right it will help me to have a peace of mind, knowing if my kids are really mine.

DNA test here in our country seems too expensive for me and i dont have that amount of money yet. But that is actually part of my plan, i will do it when i earned some money while working abroad.

 

[triplexxx]

triple xxx how long have you known she's been with other guys?

Since we started dating. She honestly told me about it and i was very stupid that i accepted it.

Keep in mind that if you demand a paternity test, your wife may refuse to let you see your kids and this may strengthen her argument for sole custody. She may also use the argument during court proceedings that you did not even want to be a father to the children so why should you be awarded joint custody of them.

Paternity testing is the best solution to have a peace of mind for knowing the truth. I will insist to do this.

She's not that smart, she's just an immature wife pretending to be single so she can mingle with other men. She's living large actually.

She may not like it. She don't want me to react on things like this. What she want for me is to let her do things even its not right.

Don't wait for things to get worse. Act now. Before you move out, go see a local lawyer. Try to hook yourself up with a counselor, it sounds like you need one right now. Try to talk to a close friend you can depend on, if you can't just come and post here for support. You need to get the f*ck away from this woman. She is destroying your soul and ruining your mental health. Life is too short for you to spend another minute of your time heartbroken over what this crazy wh0re is doing to you and your family. You need to restrict your contact with her as much as you can, and get in touch with a local lawyer who will give you good advice on how not to ruin your case if it goes to court, bc it looks like this is where it may be heading. And i've seen how these situations can turn out for god's sake don't make it worse on yourself by committing a criminal act against her or one of her men.

I guess its not the right time to take an action. I need to move out and work abroad to earn some money first. I am not thinking of negative thoughts anymore. Making myself busy reviewing for the exam for my VISA is the important thing right now.

I can't give you specific advice, but generally speaking for the sake of your ability to muster a strong parallel parenting argument don't argue with your wife and don't criticize her parenting in front of others, and especially in front of your kids.

You'll get over this, and you'll love watching your little ones grow up and you'll meet a good woman who won't do sh*t like this to you

Thank you guys for your advises. I love my kids so much and i do not want to lose them, I will love them even in time i found out that they're not mine. Although sometimes i admit, i hate them whenever the thought (that their mother is ****ing other men) comes to my mind.

Right now, I'm just go with flow and planning to leave alone for a while.

 

[xbrandon]

Hi this is triplexxx again. I have change my account because the system wont allow me to login.

Well, im' back again because I have problems. I am now working here at Canada as a foreign worker and far away from my family. But even i'm far away from them, I really cant stop myself thinking them. I feel so depressed and alone whenever I missed them. I know and I still remember all the things that my wife done to me and to our family. But I also wont forget all the good times we've shared. I dont know if I can trust her again, but its my mind that keeps bothering me. Oh God what should I do, I love them and I want to leave them. I cant concentrate with my work here. I cant live life like this. This depression thing is over 10 years now, what i really want in my life is to have a peace of mind.

I think leaving them is not the solution to have a peace of mind. Its hard to say this but I feel like crying at night and I cant sleep. I thought I can forget them, please help me i am very depressed.

 

[xbrandon]

Hi this is triplexxx again. I have change my account because the system wont allow me to login.

Well, im' back again because I have problems. I am now working here at Canada as a foreign worker and far away from my family. But even i'm far away from them, I really cant stop myself thinking them. I feel so depressed and alone whenever I missed them. I know and I still remember all the things that my wife done to me and to our family. But I also wont forget all the good times we've shared. I dont know if I can trust her again, but its my mind that keeps bothering me. Oh God what should I do, I love them and I want to leave them. I cant concentrate with my work here. I cant live life like this. This depression thing is over 10 years now, what i really want in my life is to have a peace of mind.

I think leaving them is not the solution to have a peace of mind. Its hard to say this but I feel like crying at night and I cant sleep. I thought I can forget them, please help me i am very depressed.

 

[El Suave]

When you are away from her you have the tendency to remember the good times more than the bad. Every body is the same. Take a piece of paper and on one side write down the good things and on the other side the bad things. It will help you a lot.
Your depression comes from your marriage and her sleeping around. If you didn't have that in your life, you would be fine, right? There's your answer.
If she doesn't want to stop screwing around, what's the point in staying married. Leave, find out if the kids are yours and rebuild your life. You made a mistake, now learn from it.

 

[abe0]

There is a site called MDJUNCTION.Com where you will find all sorts of support groups for depressed people. Check it out...I do not think this is the right forum to deal with suicidal people ..IMHO....It may be to advice to dump her or whatever but not for psychiatric treatment. That site is excellent...please check it out. Abe

 

[xbrandon]

When you are away from her you have the tendency to remember the good times more than the bad. Every body is the same. Take a piece of paper and on one side write down the good things and on the other side the bad things. It will help you a lot.
Your depression comes from your marriage and her sleeping around. If you didn't have that in your life, you would be fine, right? There's your answer.
If she doesn't want to stop screwing around, what's the point in staying married. Leave, find out if the kids are yours and rebuild your life. You made a mistake, now learn from it.

Your right, i have to rebuild my life.

What I want right now is to start living a single life, and this is the life i ever wanted. Meeting new friends, getting busy with my own life.

Do we have a bootcamp here for a person age 36?

Can I still get girls younger than me (22-30) and mingle with them?

 

[xbrandon]

There is a site called MDJUNCTION.Com where you will find all sorts of support groups for depressed people. Check it out...I do not think this is the right forum to deal with suicidal people ..IMHO....It may be to advice to dump her or whatever but not for psychiatric treatment. That site is excellent...please check it out. Abe

Thanks. I saw the site and its really helpful for a situation like mine.

But I want I to be a changed man now, and start living a single life once again.

And I think I have to do this to enjoy my life while im still alive, right? :cheer:

 

[Tictac]

X,

I've been a single parent for 5 years now. Toughest thing I've ever done. And I would not trade a single minute of it.

You won't be 'single' (so far as kids go) for a long time. Forget 'her', minimize who she is and what she does.

Do what a man and a father does - your best for you and your children. She may try to make your life Hell. The courts may help her do that. But you decide how to live with it.

Yes it's tough. Tougher than you? Unlikely.

 

[Casanova99]

Good advice is to take a DNA-test of your kids and yourself to find out the truth. Usually kids have some features that look a like from there mother and father, my daughter have some of my complexion.

Do not kill yourself and hurt your kids for life. What ever you feel and think right now is only thoughts and feelings, observe them, embrace them, relax with them and be with them and let them pass through your system. Do not try to suppress them by drinking and jointing or any other substances. Feel your feelings is the road to healing. Face your feelings, do not run away from them. Use your suffering to grow, suffering is the best Guru in town and for most people the only one.

I separated from my X after she had been with another guy and we had a 5 year old daughter together. I just packed my bags and left within one our and boy what a freedom it was to get out of the relationship. Make sure not to make an enemy out of your X and cooperate around your kids the best way you can. Most people do a lot of mistakes so there is no need to waste time and energy on blaming each other.

A new chapter in your life is opening up, new adventures on the horizon, one can feel the wind of freedom...

Good luck to you and soon you will thank your lucky star for what happened.