It's an inside out job

[backbreaker]

Over the last few months, the girl that I posted about in the married man thread and I have became good friends. all has calmed down, my wife likes her, she likes my wife, etc.

I've been able to see a situation from a unique perspective the last few weeks.

The girl has been dating this guy, let's call him G. She's been dating G for a while. She's in love with him and wants to start a family with him (She's 26, to all of you guys that say that women are party sluts into they are 30)


I don't believe in "alpha women".. i believe there are just women who don't have a strong man in their lives, and this is one of those women. What I mean by that is i can see how a man can see her as intimating, she's good looking, smart and has her **** in order, but she is still a woman and what she really wants is for her BF to man up for lack of a better word.

On a normal day the girl goes to work gets off at about 5, goes to the gym until about 7, then goes home and works on her own business until lke 11pm. monday - friday, doesn't party, doesn't go out, doesn't have any really negative habits.


So this is her life. So yesterday I get a call at about 2pm and she's like Arrrugh i can't take this **** anymore. i'm like what's up? she's like it's G. I'm like what's wrong did something happen? she's like he doesn't get it. He is like, the polar opposite of her. he has a normal 9 to 5, doesn't go tot he gym, and he sits around all day long and wants to spend time with her, and she has figured out, that its better to find 1-2 hours to spend with him 1-2 nights a week and just put her business stuff off, versus having to have these long drawn out emotional talks about why they don't spend time with each other and **** like that.

basically he's needy and she's like, the most un needy person on earth.

this is all fine until like last week she got this huge order that she had to put together, she makes a specific type of clothing and she has to actually make it herself and this was like a 1500 dollar order and we are talking about items that sale for 30-40 bucks. also she has a new line of **** coming out and so she had a photo shop scheduled for today to take pictures of the new ****, to sale it.

so she did not have time for her BF this week and she didn't have time today and he gets all emotional and she's trying to work..

I understand what she is going through. I break up with girls for that ****. I don't have time for that.

She's about at her breaking point. And the sad thing is, she really loves him. she's not a slut. he just doesn't have **** going on and so he depends on her for his life /fufillment. AT the point she's at now he's another thing that she has to support / manage and you can't keep a woman like that.


My point being, if you want a real woman who is about ****, you have to be about ****. "Beucase even if you get the woman it won't last. His own insecurities are going to **** up their relationship. He doesn't even have his own house yet.


Being seriously good with women is like building a house. You have to start with the foundation and the real foundation to being a ladies man, is not needing them in the first place. my wife is gone all day I don't give a **** i got **** to do. you can't pin your happiness on a woman, tha't snot fair to you or the woman to have to live up to those standards.

The best, most solid ladies men are men who have had prolonged periods of solitude. You don't fear being single, you don't fear being alone. You're able to develop your own life wiht your own hobbies and your own interests.


Then when you are that guy, you are a breath of fresh air to women.

 

[VladPatton]

See for me, that sounds like a great catch. Everyone hates neediness. You are absolutely correct about having your own things going on in life. Makes me wonder why/how the hell she gave him the time of day in the first place. G's headed to Dumpville.

 

[backbreaker]

From what I can gather, she was treated pretty ****ty by her last BF and G was all the things her last BF wasn't; caring, comforting, etc. he's good looking too. he's a good guy i like him he's just.. he's just kinda insecure.

what she really wnats is a balance between her last BF and her current one. she likes hte fact that her current BF is faithful and cares about her but doesn't like the fact that he's all up under her

 

[MikeOck]

1-2 hours a week is basically just enough time to fvck and leave. That isn't a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, no matter what you label it. It sounds like she has a hangup about casual sex, which is causing them both unnecessary confusion.

 

[backbreaker]

WELL THEY'VE been dating for 4 years now. i would consider htat a BF/GF relationship. they do **** together on saturdays, that's her BF day basically.

it all came to a head beucase this particular saturday she did not have time to spend with him and he got all pissy


when i was dating millie before we moved in that was pretty much our relationship. she'd spend the night 1-2 nights a week come over like at 10pm or so and on Saturday we'd hang out together for most o the day

 

[Bible_Belt]

Being a workaholic entrepreneur is male behavior. It's not feminine, and it's not attractive. He should dump her for a woman who will prioritize him more highly, and she should strap on a d!ck and go be a dyke, so she can be the real man she obviously wants to be.

 

[backbreaker]

There is some validity to that point Bible belt. She's pretty but she's definatly got some masculine traits about her. But i can't **** on someone doing what they love doing nad trying to make it work. i just can't.

with that said, it's not like she just started this like last year or something she was doing this before he met her. he has no right to tell her to change becuase that's what he signed up for.

point being, rather you think it's feminine or masculine, it's her and he knew what the deal was when he signed up.


with that said, that's why i laughed at the notion in the other thread that i wanted to cheat on my wife with her lol. god no. i'm not attracted to "power broker" women

she's great with money, she has a good head on her shoulders, she's responsible, l she's very feminine in real life i assure you lol, she works out, she eats right.. maybe a little bit of masculinity is not a bad thing. **** my wife shots rifles and mows the yard lol. it's better than what passes for feminine in 2014.. ditzy social media whoring shallow sluts that you guys are pining over lol

 

[Bokanovsky]

See for me, that sounds like a great catch. Everyone hates neediness. You are absolutely correct about having your own things going on in life. Makes me wonder why/how the hell she gave him the time of day in the first place. G's headed to Dumpville.

Neediness is a bad quality in a man but less so in a woman (unless it becomes extreme). If a woman really likes you, she will be needy to some extent. If a woman only wants to spend 1-2 hours a week with you, you can bet your ass that she's banging other dudes.

 

[disgustipated]

My new epiphany on this is, all these single moms and single, career driven women are always complaining about men and how they need to man up, or step up basically so they can fall back, relax...go on autopilot and let the man lead basically. Well, one ****king prob with that....these women don't know HOW to fall back. They spend all day husslin and busslin either running their schedules around them and their kids or even just their careers...they gotta be aggresssive to get **** done right? Well they don't know how to turn that shiit off when it comes to their men! Then there is someone like me, serial bachelor but in and out of ltrs....I live alone....there is no one to fight for power(kids/deadbeat parents) so my demeanor is less aggressive because I've always been the king of my castle.

These type women are their own worst enemies. If they could just learn to TRUST their men to get **** done and not criticize negatively and fall back....basically turn off the masculine and turn up the feminine. Feminism has fooked up so many things. This is why I think super masculine agrressive guys clean up with women nowadays because women are begging for a break of leading their own lives.

 

[VladPatton]

Neediness is a bad quality in a man but less so in a woman (unless it becomes extreme). If a woman really likes you, she will be needy to some extent. If a woman only wants to spend 1-2 hours a week with you, you can bet your ass that she's banging other dudes.

Valid point.