Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

It's all so contradictory. A few questions please?

Comatozed

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Over the last few days I've been reading a lot of info from this site, and whilst there are a lot of things that are undeniably correct, kino, being prepared to walk, not being needy, spinning plates etc. There are still one or two thing's i'm unsure of.

1) A girl mirroring my response times = BAD - interested girls never make it unclear, or GOOD - you should be pleased she's interested enough to give it this much thought.

CASE IN POINT: A girl i'm texting, I felt it was getting a bit too friendzone ish so I didn't contact her for a few days and now despite her being the one previously showing more interest in the conversation she's decided to not reply.

2) Emotional Connection. How to create that connection without appearing weak and un masculine?

3) Compliments/Negging - I think I know the answer to this, use a mix.

At the moment I feel so far away from getting what I want, a LTR, I think I'm too concerned with doing the exact right thing when I'd be better off just realising a lot of the time it's out of my hands, so long as I act in a manner that isn't unattractive.
 

zekko

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Comatozed said:
CASE IN POINT: A girl i'm texting, I felt it was getting a bit too friendzone ish so I didn't contact her for a few days and now despite her being the one previously showing more interest in the conversation she's decided to not reply.
This is why I don't like playing games. You play games, she plays games, it ends up just being a bunch of high school sh!t. No thanks. I don't have the patience for it. Be straight with me or fvck off.

By the way, most "game" techniques are geared toward short term mating strategies, as opposed to LTRs.
 

IBreatheSpears

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It's all about context.

Unless they have a good reason not to, girls will generally assume you're a beta male, because most men are. Starting from that frame, anything that isn't obviously alpha behaviour will be interpreted as evidence that you're beta. This is why an alpha male can afford to expose vulnerabilities and not be beta, while a beta male doing the same is suicide. Once it's established that you're not beta, you get a lot more leeway.

Intent is important too. Beta males buy their girlfriends (or girl friends) gifts because "that's what you do" or even because they think it will make her love them. Alpha males do it because that's what they want to do. But focus on setting up an alpha frame before you start taking risks like that.
 

Donnie Darko

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Comatozed said:
Over the last few days I've been reading a lot of info from this site, and whilst there are a lot of things that are undeniably correct, kino, being prepared to walk, not being needy, spinning plates etc. There are still one or two thing's i'm unsure of.

1) A girl mirroring my response times = BAD - interested girls never make it unclear, or GOOD - you should be pleased she's interested enough to give it this much thought.

CASE IN POINT: A girl i'm texting, I felt it was getting a bit too friendzone ish so I didn't contact her for a few days and now despite her being the one previously showing more interest in the conversation she's decided to not reply.

2) Emotional Connection. How to create that connection without appearing weak and un masculine?

3) Compliments/Negging - I think I know the answer to this, use a mix.

At the moment I feel so far away from getting what I want, a LTR, I think I'm too concerned with doing the exact right thing when I'd be better off just realising a lot of the time it's out of my hands, so long as I act in a manner that isn't unattractive.
All you should focus on is having fun and trying to fvck the girl/girls you are dating. Don't worry about getting a LTR. Women focus on relationships and defining them. Just have fun and fvck the girls good and then the girls will start wanting a LTR with you. But when you are fvcking lots of girls and having lots of fun you will find that you won't settle for a LTR with just any girl....you will only accept a LTR with a girl that meets your qualifications and who makes you happy. You won't know all of your qualifications until you date lots of women and gain experience. Spin more plates so you stop thinking about wanting a LTR.
 

Comatozed

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Where's the line between DHV and appearing try-hard/show-offy?
 

IBreatheSpears

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Comatozed said:
Where's the line between DHV and appearing try-hard/show-offy?
As you learn about Game, you will probably notice a common theme along the lines of "covert is better than overt". An overt DHV is when you announce your higher value, which is really a DLV because a truly high-status male doesn't announce his value, he shows it through his actions. In fact, he can't help but show it. High status men are often humble (or seem so) because they know they don't need to prove anything.

When you want to DHV, you do it by action, inaction, or implication, never by explicitly stating (unless she asks, but even then, be careful of traps á la "How much do you make?", because it's easy to come off as a shallow doúche).
 

Comatozed

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That was my thinking.

But then I thought that maybe I am too modest/sell myself short and dumb chicks will lap up obvious brags anyway
 

IBreatheSpears

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Comatozed said:
That was my thinking.

But then I thought that maybe I am too modest/sell myself short and dumb chicks will lap up obvious brags anyway
It's not so much their intelligence as their social intelligence that counts. I know a couple of very smart girls who suck at sub-communication because they're too logical, like a man (two of them look relatively masculine, too, and both are autistic). Girls tend to be more socially and emotionally intelligent than men, but not more intelligent in general.

I like to brag in a humorous way ("cócky/funny"). I've found that people don't take it as try-hard that way; they think I'm actually cócky and funny (and they're right). As most women are wont to assume men are betas, it's a good idea to use cócky/funny tactics right off the bat to establish that you're better than beta. Other than that, it's enough to rely on your body language and behaviour to DHV; your words should be the icing on the alpha cake.
 

Bokanovsky

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Comatozed said:
At the moment I feel so far away from getting what I want, a LTR, I think I'm too concerned with doing the exact right thing when I'd be better off just realising a lot of the time it's out of my hands, so long as I act in a manner that isn't unattractive.
I think you've answered your own questions. Overanalyzing is a huge handicap. It will cause you unnecessary stress worrying about things you cannot control. The solution is to spin plates. The more plates you spin, the less you are about each individual plate and the less you try to analyze her behaviour.
 

Comatozed

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Yea i'm trying.. and I've learned my lesson about investing anything emotionally on any one chick but in my position right now 'spinning plates' is easier said than done.

It's that sinking feeling when your favourite 'plate' seems to have lost interest and that's what makes me second guess a lot of things. But I am following the advice and learning to not be so outcome dependent. It is what it is.
 

Comatozed

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Can you ever show too little interest?

As someone whose oneitus ended it because I was giving her too much attention, i was wondering if it was possible to go too far the other way (which i wouldnt want to do), or is there no real danger of this since it just gives them more a challenge?

Also, as i understand it you always want the woman to be 'chasing' you, but for me right now this is not happening right away...is the idea to perue them a bit to get them interested and then let them chase? Because if i rely purely on girls chasing me from the start i might be waiting a while.
 

hudpes

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Comatozed said:
A girl i'm texting
WHY?? Texting a girl to get her in bed with you is like smiling at a horse you want to ride. Call her and ask her out.
 

Mr Wright

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hudpes said:
WHY?? Texting a girl to get her in bed with you is like smiling at a horse you want to ride. Call her and ask her out.
No, texting is a perfectly acceptable way to ask a girl out these days especially if she's under 25. It's 2014, no one answers their phone anymore. I've never called a girl to ask her out.
 

hudpes

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Right, but text only asking for a date not chatting.
 

MillionBillionaire

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Mr Wright said:
No, texting is a perfectly acceptable way to ask a girl out these days especially if she's under 25. It's 2014, no one answers their phone anymore. I've never called a girl to ask her out.
You are right. It is 2014.. witch means I skyped before our first meeting and we had a fvkk date because of it. We texted after skype to set up the hotel night. I should really post a lay report. Got this chick off tinder. Skype.. text.. lay. All in 5 days.
 

Mr Wright

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hudpes said:
Right, but text only asking for a date not chatting.
The reason why most guys don't recommend chatting via text is because they don't know how to use it properly. You can chat via text, just don't overdo it. There aren't many legitimate hard and fast rules. If I know I won't be free to see a girl for a few weeks, I'll definitely get involved in some text chat just to keep things current.
 
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