It's All A Test.

[A-Unit]

Listening to Angel's Son by Sevendust...

I was sitting in my apartment after a particularly tumultuous week pondering to myself...realizing with almost pure clarity that This is all a test.

Women.
Business.
Family.
Friends.
Bills.
College.

It's merely a test of you as a person. Not because you're word isn't good, but because in a world of billions of people THERE are liars, and the only way to get proof is to test. We're tested by work, family, even our job.

With women, the tests aren't even normal. What's illogical to us is actually quite logical to them. Games are no fun, but learning to d

Could a woman really ASK you if you're loyal?
Good in bed?
Have a great future?
Fun to be with?
Possess a good personality?
Can handle her?

NO!

Do we even do that with girls?

NO!

We check interest by seeing if she goes along with our plans and if she counter-offers those plans. We check interest by how she behaves when she's around, comments, effort, etc.

They'll test you by saying things and seeing your reaction.
They'll test you by blowing off plans, by not calling back, by inviting friends along, by dressing in a certain way. TEST. TEST. TEST. You think they don't know they're hot? Of course they do! They get affirmations ALL day by men in cars, by men at their work, school, the malls, clubs, etc. We all know what it sounds like:

Her: I was at work today and some guy tried to pick me up.
You: Good deal. When's the date?
Her: I didn't give him my number, silly!

They'll check jealousy, which indicates interest. The more jealous, the more interested AND insecure. Insecurity is a sign of scarcity, scarcity of resources and scarcity of confidence. Lacking in both shows her you're not the prize she thought you were. Moreover, if she DID get the number, you decide to Launch her or realize you're casually dating and don't care.

Women test because it's their way of evaluating potential mates, aside from looks. This is why C&F and your personality are more important ONCE you've 'baited' them. It isn't right, but it is the game, and if you realize it's A GAME and A TEST and enjoy the DANCE, then you won't FAIL where some guys do. You do want to drop any woman who gives you too many RED FLAGS, but relationships are killed to quickly often times because we're so quick to judge.

Even in life this applies. How many times have you been working to find some situation just BLOWS up in your face? MANY! When it finally passes, you realize IT WASN'T as bad as first anticipated and now YOU WISH YOU KEPT YOUR COOL. It happens to be alot. I get the phone call that a client is upset, I go to greet them, quell any fires, and go right back to working. It wasn't THAT bad. But if you OVERREACT and BLOW up, you'll BLOW YOUR CHANCES and YOUR HEART on STRESS.

What can you garner from this?

Play the game.
Enjoy the dance.
Don't act like every situation is a life and death situation.
Enjoy MEETING the girl.
Enjoy the first, exhilarating connection you two share.
Be in the moment of that fear, but realize how ALIVE you are from it.
Calm down and think through it.
It's never as bad as you would think it is.
Don't be outcome oriented, that tends to become a self-fulfilling prophecy where your greatest FEAR comes true.

All life is a dance, ENJOY the dance. Enjoy the ups, the downs, the happiness, and sadness. Heck there were times I've had REPO companies up my ass because of poor decisions, but if I worried about tomorrow and didn't focus on today, I WOULDN'T make the money to get them off my ass. And ya know what? It all worked out fine.


Some parting thoughts and quotes...

I've learned in life that you can't act like everything is a life or death decision, because you'll die alot of times.

This is your life, and it's ending 1 second at a time.

You can't control life, only yourself, so sit back and enjoy being a passenger.


End.



A-Unit

 

[comic_relief]

good post A-Unit

i like this post because it touched me in the fact after thinking about it I have taken a few things way to seriously.

good post

 

[Scrumtulescence]

The book 'Way Of The Superior Man' has a lot of great insight into why women test men. This post reminded me of it. Have you read it?

 

[Bronxtal112]

That pst was phenominal. good work, sh#t is so true.

 

[faustus]

Great work

Good stuff A-Unit, you're one of the best posters on this forum at the moment.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

I haven't read Way of the Superior Man, but now that you mention it I will add it to my hit list.

Why is everything a test?

Because there's very little we can control in life.

We can control WHAT job we have, and WHERE we work, but after that, you can't control your co-workers, the crap you'll deal with, people promoted over you, or any other oddity sure to occur.

We can control WHAT women we approach, WHAT we say, but we can't control the OUTCOME of the communication, the response, or even WHERE the relationship will go. You can only manage the 50% of the relationship you have ownership to via date requests, assertiveness, sex, and whether you launch or not.

We can control WHAT care we drive, HOW much we pay for it, HOW it performs and WHAT it looks like, and even WHERE we park it so that it's not stolen, but you can't control IF it is stolen, VANDALIZED, HIT, KEYED, or any other oddity that we might freak over.

We can control paying our bills on time, we can control WHAT bills we have, HOW much they are and so forth, but WE can't control any randomness that explodes in our face, such as appliances breaking, rent increases, credit card theft, car accidents, etc.

Realize you can only do so much with yourself and then LET GO. Enjoy the ride. Yes girls will flake, and sometimes, they won't be flaking for reasons you believe. Sometimes a cell phone dies, a family member dies, a friend is in an accident, they are sick. Yes, some girls will also spit some BS. Know when to hold them and fold them.

As men, the lot of us have a tendency to be very left-brained, to be very analytical and THINK everything through so much so that the event becomes a science experiment rather than the art show it was intended to be. Looking back, the hardest times truly showed me that life goes on, its not so bad, and I can handle it going forward.

One case in particular let me know this. I was attending the University of Maine for Civil Engineering, roughly four hours from home for me. I had a beat down Eagle Talon that was dated 1993. Fast, decent for an 18 year old, but nonetheless unreliable. It had broken down several times after a near fatal accident and was on its last legs. Upon driving home, about mid-way between my dorm and home, the car just stopped on I-95. Dead stop! Finally moved it over. I had a cell phone with little to no signal and a dying battery. To make matters worse, it was late October, and if you know New England, you know Maine sees snow in October.

There I was stuck, car battery wouldn't operate so I had no means of heat, and the signal on my phone was dying. Too far to walk between exits and having no clue where I was, I had to sit tight until I regained signal or a State police officer would assist. No cops stopped, as they thought car was abandoned (no lights). Finally, 5 hours AFTER I had set out to reach home, a trucker had stopped, he phoned in the State Police who then phoned in a AAA truck to tow me to a dealership. I still had multiple problems.

1. The car was dead.
2. My family didn't have an inkling of where i was.
3. The dealership where they dumped me was closing, so i was left alone.

I sat in a near by diner, got a signal on my phone and proceeded to eat with the locals. My father drove 2 hours to get me. I stayed tight at home and all worked itself out. All in all, I never really panicked, despite what seemed to be a ridiculous situation. Looking back, as I thought calmly about it, I realized I had options.

1. Walk to a gas station.
2. Wait for a signal on my cell phone.
3. Flag down the state police on my own.
4. Flag down a trucker who has CB radios.

I spent nearly 10 hours in the middle of Maine, somewhere I've never seen again, and probably wouldn't want to. With relevance to women, there are FAR more difficult situations than being dumped, rejected, or even embarrassed by a girl, so women are just the tip of the iceberg.



End.



A-Unit

 

[The Private Player]

I fully agree with the overall concept but everyone has to also remember to not view this as if we don't have as many options as we thought we did. We have to remember the power of Influence. For example, yes we can control what car we buy and where we park it, but we can't control if it gets stolen. We do have the ability to Influence whether it gets stolen by parking it in a safer location or by getting a car alarm etc.

My point is that what I find most imortant about this post is the underlying concept which is that with every situation we have so many different choices and we must see it as another test. As a test we decide and rationally decide on the best course of action and execute it. The underlying concept it that After we have made the decision we cannot change the past.

Sure we can put an alarm and hope to influence the security of the vehicle. If the next day it gets stolen though, you can't beat yourself up over it. You did the best you could and you can't do anything about it but continue making the best decisions you can. With maturity your decisions are more accurate and more effective.

As A-Unit said it "Realize you can only do so much with yourself and then LET GO. Enjoy the ride."

you can only make the best decisions you can and thats the best you can do. Choose. Live. Learn. Because in the end, weakness of character is just weakness of strength.

good post.

 

[jakeyboy]

nice handling of the Maine situation... taught me not to panic over the little gritty details of life.. there are far worse things people have been through, as compared to me worrying about whether a girl will or will not show up on our date.. thanks for the insight mate... useful.

 

[DJD]

Good posts, a lot of wisdom here. Thanks.